Personal Update & Random Thoughts

Cinnamon sprinkles in coffee smells and tastes wonderful!
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I'm doing well and feeling good. I'm eating healthy, and have lost a nice chunk of weight. I haven't had an episode of depression in about 8 months. This is a miracle considering that I'm out of work and have ongoing medical testing. I thank God that the depression has abated. I believe that It has something to do with healthy eating. Mmm veggies! My counselor is surprised that I'm doing so well. However, I don't think I'm out of the words yet. I’m working with my counselor to take small steps toward mental wellness. Physical tests are scheduled for the next few months. Your prayers and good thoughts are greatly appreciated. I hope they don't find any disease.

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I have a wonderful family. Sometimes I think that my aunt is an angel. She’s very caring and knows just what to say.

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I’ll be glad when Gray’s Anatomy returns on Sept. 23^rd. It’s one of the few good T.V. shows on non cable T.V. It’s cathartic because I often cry as I relate to Meredith Gray.

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Televangelists seem stuck in the 50’s or 80’s at best. Their teaching techniques, songs, and sermons, are stuck in the past. They basically have two teaching styles, they preach from the pulpit, or a few people sit and chat. They could learn a lot from Dr. Wayne Dyer who uses a mixture of lecture, multi-media, modern songs, short stories, and short testimonies form guests, all with a modern flavor. Why can’t they recognize that they are losing the younger generation and upgrade?
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Does it bother anyone else that God killed so many people and so often in the Old Testament? I hate killing. Little wonder that I consider myself a New Testament gal.
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This Rochester summer is beautiful if you like it hot. We have had lots of weather in the 80’s. We only had a handful of days in the early 90s. We have hard winters, but the other seasons are lovely! Temperatures are moderating nicely now, and I’m looking forward to a colorful, beautiful, refreshing, autumn.

Personal Update - Getting Healthy Step by Step

Depression is like a bully knocking you down to the ground for no reason at all. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to be knocked down. But it takes time to get up, and many, many, baby steps to learn how to walk again. I'm taking baby steps, and trying very hard with minimal results so far. But results will come with time. My buddy Meleah Rebeccah got it right with her series "Doing Things Differently". You have to change your bad habits and get new ones in order to change. Many of the changes are small, but will result in significant positive results over time. Small steps. I want to have a health, and normal life again. Small steps!

Good News! - It's been about 8 months since I've had an episode of depression! I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm working hard trying to keep depression at bay.

I've Changed My Eating Habits - About a year ago I was living on processed, starchy, high calorie, pantry food (donated). Since I got food-stamps, and a health scare, I've been eating good healthy food. Including lots of veggies, plus a daily vitamin. I'm trying to get healthy, or at least give my body what it needs to fight the disease that I have. (Whatever that is)

Walkies - I'm staring to go on short walks. Wow, am I out of shape! The walks are short now, but distance will increases in time.

Counseling - The guy is alright. I'm learning how to work with him. I've learned that he is unfocused, and tends to forget. So I need to stress what I need, and he comes up with helpful ideas.

Getting Out More - I'm getting out and about more. My counselor wants me to mingle with people more, and also do things that interest me. Admittedly, I have to work on this. More activity opportunities will come in summer. At least I'm getting out a little more.

May I Go Back To Work? - When I asked my counselor this question, he said that I wasn't ready. However, I think that if I got just the right type of job, he might change his mind. I'm going to work on this with him. I hope to go back to work soon. Otherwise, I'll have to get a lawyer and apply for disability with takes more than 6 months to kick in. Then the first 6 months are the lawyers fees. Ek! The system isn't set up to help people.

Why Are You Doing So Well Depression Wise? - My counselor asked this. I possibly could have a terrible disease, and my aunt died recently, but I'm doing good. I think that part of it is eating a much healthier diet, and taking vitamins. Also a part are YOUR prayers and good thoughts. Thanks a ton! Please keep sending them. Something is working. ~crossing fingers~

I Might Not Be On The Internet Quite As Much - As you can see, my plate is full. Right now I have to considerate on getting healthy, and that takes a lot of time, and work. I won't disappear, but you might not see me around quite as much.

Update - Working on Getting Better

Although my updates all sound the same these days, it occurred to me that I'm doing something healthy. I'm working hard to get better both physically and mentally.

Counseling - I give my counselor mixed reviews. On one hand he seems to flounder without focus. However, when I push him, he shows some knowledge. Once again I told him how frightened I was that I might go back into a more severe depression. I mentioned it several times during one session, and he finally heard me. He told me a few things which were helpful. Then gave me homework. Four things to do aimed at keeping me out of severe depression. Not particularly hard things, but practical. Small steps. Well, it's about time! Finally I feel like we might be getting somewhere. However, I would feel better if he had tested me and got a base line to compare. Instead he has an off the cuff, unorganized approach that doesn't get me far fast.

Medical - I've had to push hard to get to see a specialist. I had to push my doctor Homer Simpson like crazy. The specialist is in the mist of testing me. He wants to do a CaT scan, but it will take awhile to get it funded. So I wait for the phone call. However, the specialist did rule out one major disease that I could have had. But he did say that I defiantly should not have abnormal cells in my blood. So the question remains - What is my disease, and is it curable? Hopefully further testing will reveal it.

Now that the depression has lessened I'm trying hard to get better. I pray that God meets me half way.

The Shrink & I Are Not A Match, plus Depression Update

CBC Test - I'll find out the results in a few days. Meanwhile, I'm going nutz, it's been almost 3 weeks! The vast majority of the time I feel good and am pain free. The low grade fever continues, and I'm monitoring it per doctor. Cross your fingers.

Depression - I FEEL much better. I wish it was spring so I could go for a walk, and enjoy the sun and flowers. I'm still on the depression roller-coaster, but just on the upswing. I know I will come down again, meanwhile I'm looking for an exit sign. By the way, I've been officially out of work per doctor, however, I'm very reluctant to show the doctors note. I feel very uncomfortable being dependant on a doctor, and the shrink to give me permission to return to work. Also even though the note is generalized I'm afraid I will be asked for an explanation and it will get out that I have mental problems.

Da Shrink - I think he means well and cares, but I find him intrusive, intense, and pushy. I'm a private person and need some space. I have opened up a lot in the short time I've been seeing him, but I don't want to disclose everything. He's going to look up some info for me and call me at home. I don't want him calling me at home! It's not urgent. Shouldn't there be some boundaries? How do I tell this guy to take a step back? He is suppose to help me feel less stressed, not more stressed and uncomfortable. Honestly, this guy is more intense than I am. Besides he hasn't dealt with my grief issue which is the source of the depression. I don't think we have a match. Does anyone know a good free shrink in my area? Fortunately our next meeting is on the same day that I see my doctor about the CBC results, so I have a good reason to cancel, and have.

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The Big Bad Shrink

Who's afraid of the big bad shrink, Big bad shrink,
big bad shrink? Who's afraid of the big bad shrink?
Tra la la la la ...

My first meeting went well. He seems nice, and generally concerned. He listened well and had some good comments. He was amazed that I knew why I was messed up, and could list the reasons. I told him that I just didn't know how to get out of the hole of depression. I hope he knows what he's doing. He has an MSW. I hope that his training is adequate.

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He gave me simple homework that made sense, and he is going to check into winter depression (SAD) for me. I told him that I can't afford $100 for a lamp and he will see what else I can do. I'll see him again in two weeks.

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I'm on an upswing. The last few months the depression has lessened. It's a huge relief because I was pretty bad off. It's not gone, (even shrink said that), but it's not as severe. Thank God! I've been in depression long enough to know that it has it's ups, and downs. It's like riding a roller-coaster. I'm on the upswing, but I always go down again. I hope that the shrink can pull me off this roller-coaster. By the way, I'm not on meds. My MD offered, but I don't like the idea.

Wordless Wednesday - My 1st visit with my counselor

I'm going for my first visit to my counselor today. I have beer waiting home for me.

Army psychiatrist goes on shooting rampage

An Army psychiatrist who was about to be deployed to Iraq allegedly armed himself with two guns and opened fire last Thursday on the grounds of Fort Hood, Texas the country's largest military base, killing 13 people and injuring 30 others.

The suspected gunman who was wounded is Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, 39 who worked at Ft. Hood hospital. The facility has an extensive program to help soldiers deal with stress of returning from war.

While military, and security agency's try to figure out why he did it. It only confirms my suspicions that...

COUNSELORS ARE NUTZ!

I missed my appointment with Super Shrink

When my social worker made the appointment, she told me to be sure to show up. Unfortunately, I had very little gas and only $3. I knew that parking might cost more then that. I tried to bum a ride, but no luck. UG! I called to reschedule, but Super Shrink's secretary wasn't available, so I left a message. I never heard back.

Maybe it's just as well. I'm scared to see Super Shrink. This is no ordinary shrink. He (don't know the gender) has extraordinary powers! This person can test me, and label me disabled due to mental problems, (by the power vested in him by the State of New York. AMEN!). Well, I probably am, but I don't necessarily want that on my permanent record, (wherever they keep them.) I mean, I really could use the money form SSI, but at what cost? To have the stigma of being labeled mentally ill on my permanent record? (I think "Fruit loops" is the technical term).

Super Shrink represents the State of N.Y., therefore has Super powers. This Shrink probably has the power to lock me up in R-wing faster then a speeding bullet. I don't think I'm Fruit loops enough to be locked up, but what if he is an overzealous type? Then I could end up in a nightmare. What if he gets a free decoder ring with every 500 people he puts away? IF I see Super Shrink I'm going to ease up on my answers a bit, especially in a certain area. If he asks, "on a scale from 1 to 10 what are you"? If I'm an 8, then I will probably tone it down to a 6. I don't want this dude to get a decoder ring at my expense! NOPE!


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Personal Update - Depression is Worse

I've spared you. ;) I've written half a dozen post drafts pertaining to depression, and suicide. I knew that I couldn't post them because I would lose some of my readers, but I have a lot on my mind and heart these days. I just want to share a little of it with you.

I wrote a very frank letter to Liquid Illuzion. For those of you who didn't know her, she was a loving, talented, caring person, who was bi-polar, and sadly took her life. I miss her. I wrote the letter because I thought she was one of the few people who could understand where I'm at. I probably won't post the letter because it is brutally honest, and might be hurtful to her friends and family. However, the process of writing the letter was positive for me. I cried like a baby and got a lot out that I haven't been able to express to anyone else. (Funny, I thought I was all cried out.) I really feel that she's been with me lately.

So how am I? The depression has been noticeably worse in recent months, and certain unhealthy thought come to my mind to often. This isn't good for several reasons bedsides the obvious. 1) I often am unaware that I'm in depression because it has become my norm. So when I'm aware of it, that means I've entered into a deeper stage of depression. 2) Usually in summer the depression decreases. Winter is my most difficult season because I have winter depression on top of the regular depression. That makes me wonder if I'll make it thought this winter, if things continue.

Life if now a constant struggle. It's exhausting! Life is one huge unsolvable problem. I feel so hurt, like I'm bleeding inside. I feel like a burden to those who have tried to help me. Frankly, I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm no good for anyone, especially myself. The person that I've become is someone that I don't recognize anymore. Well, that's just a small fraction of the stuff that I've wanted to post, but you get the picture.

I went to the Health Department for food stamps, and such. I mentioned the depression, and they are sending me to a shrink for evaluation. This ought to be interesting. As you know, I don't have much faith in shrinks because I knew two crazy counselors. I figure that If those counselors with all their knowledge can't help themselves, than how can any counselor help me? Who knows? This might just be a quick evaluation to satisfy the health department and that's all. So I'll jump though their hoop. I'll give you an update if it's worth mentioning.

Related Posts: This Isn't Me and, I can't do this anymore...

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Can you say ..."I was gay?"

I was reading a blog the other day. I know for a fact that the blog owner considered herself to be gay for a good number of years. She was active in the gay community. She went to gay pride parades, and picnics. She slept with women. She was even engaged to a women, (it didn't last).

Now she has a blog, and pretends she is Ms. Straight. Ok, so maybe she had some revelation, and now thinks she is straight. What gets me is that in her blog she boasted about not being prejudice. She goes on, and on about it. Then she turns around, and calls a lesbian some horrible names. They were not gay related names, she is to smart for that. But some other off the wall names, characterising this nice lesbian as some kind of monster. Wow! Talk about gay bashing!

I wonder if she can say out loud to herself, "I was gay, I was gay, I was gay." Not in front of anyone, but just admitting it to herself. Otherwise she is throwing away a decade or so of her life, plus she's treating gay people like crap. Sorry lady, you are homophobic. You are prejudice! And yes, YOU WERE GAY!!!

IF I saw a therapist...

If you have been wondering, no, I have not seen a therapist yet. I'm doing good depression wise. The anxiety is better too. I have stopped having panic attacks when I pull into the parking lot at work. However, the depression seems to come during winter. Last winter was one of my worst times. I wouldn't put in writing how bad it was. It is suppose to snow soon, and I'm getting apprehensive. I can't go through that again.

For those of you who are new, this is why I'm not crazy about therapy. In a nut shell, I knew two people when I was younger. They both had mental problems. They both went to a therapist for many years, and both became therapists. Today they are significantly worse. They are the two most mentally ill people that I have ever met in my life. And they are therapists!

A friend of mine is going though therapy, and frankly I don't know if I could go through the CRAP that she is. Is it me, or do therapists purposely take away hope? Will they try to pump me full of drugs too? Will they tell me that I have 12 things wrong with me, will never get cured, and take away my hope too? Will they ask me if I'm suicidal too? And what if I said yes, would they lock me up? I'm not suicidal now, but many depressed people are. I just don't want to go through the crap that my friend is. I think that she is brave, but it angers me the way that she is being treated. And honestly, how can I put my mental welfare into the hands of a therapist, especially when I know two very mentally ill therapists? Therapy obviously didn't work for them. They just got worse, even after 15 + years of treatment.

If you have been to therapy I would love to hear both success stories, and horror stories. I want to know what goes on in therapy, and is it effective? How where you treated? What was done to you?

Added Later: I just started reading this, but it looks interesting...
HealthyPlace.com Depression Community
Also a different page on the same site Herbs & Women Hormones

Photo credit: Hey, check out "The Dragon Fly Initiative"

To the Uncomplimentary Blogger

To my readers. Since this post is to the Uncomplimentary Blogger you will not fully understand what is going on because I will be skipping some important details that the Uncomplimentary Blogger already knows. If your a regular reader you will understand that this is something that has gone on for quite sometime.

Dear Uncomplimentary Blogger,

On Wednesday I heard from both you, and that other person from my past with whom we are both acquainted. Both of you on the same day! It was like a one-two punch to my gut. She sent me an e-mail, and I dealt with her directly. You viewed my blog, and made sure that I knew it. It was like you jumped up, and down in the room. I won't go into specifics, you know what I'm talking about. You're starting to revert to your passive aggressive ways. You chose to make yourself known, but you don't want the same treatment. That's a double standard. Your like the kid who puts a finger one inch from someones face and taunts - "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" Then you go into hiding. Then the cycle is repeated again, and again, and again. Frankly, I would rather you deal with me directly like the other person did, but you can't seem to.

Your actions have been extremely inconsistent. You like me, then hate me. Like me/hate me. Like me/hate me. You push me away, then try to get my attention and pull me towards you. Push/pull, push/pull, push/pull. In fact that's how you were in our two real time relationships years ago. I noticed from reading your blogs in past months that you're like that in everything. You're crazy for a certain TV star one month, the next you're not. You like a list of TV show one month, the next you don't like any of them. I didn't know what was wrong with you, but I knew that it wasn't normal. You admitted in an e-mail to me many months ago that you had severe mental problems, but didn't elaborate. Fortunately Dr. Deb wrote about it in her blog. (Thank you Dr. Deb.) I learned that it's called emotional ambivalence.

I believe that it is difficult for you to make up your mind about me because of this neurotic conflict. Therefore, I need to intervene, so I have done the following...

1) I have taken all your blogs in my reader and put them in one folder, and tucked that folder away at the bottom of my reader. Plus I'm primarily using another reader, (bloglines), which does not have any of your blogs. In other words I will not be reading your blogs, but will keep them just in case.

2) I have removed the various trackers from my blog. So if you decide to visit my blog I will not know unless you leave a comment, and I highly doubt that you will.

I'm not going to delete my blog because of your games. I don't need to.

I don't want you to think that I have rejected you. I have not! However, I have just made it very difficult for you to play these games. I need some consistency. I also need you to contact me directly, or not at all. No more games! You know my full name, and that I live in the Rochester area. I'm in the phone book. You can call me if/when you are ready for a consistent relationship, or you can e-mail me. I realize that you might have emotional ambivalence for the rest of your life, but if you get it reasonably under control I will be open to contact, but not before. This is not easy for me because I care about you. In fact I am praying that you will get better, but I can't take this any longer. I have been rejected too, and the anxiety that I have stems from rejection. I’m dealing with issues of rejection from my past and just can’t handle these on/off, love/hate, push/pull games. I am trying to heal now. I don't need more rejection, more wounds.

So you can talk to me, (or about me), as much as you want on your blog. Send me all those signals, jump up and down trying to get my attention, but ... I WILL NOT NOTICE.

ENOUGH! I'M NOT PLAYING YOUR GAMES!

Grey's Anatomy: Lesbian Kiss, and Suicide

Grey's Anatomy - Lesbian Storyline


Did you see the Grey's Anatomy season final? If you didn't, don't worry, I won't revel a great deal here. Just my favorite, and lest favorite scenes.

My favorite scene was the kiss between Erica Hahn, and Callie Torres. (I'm predictable, ha?) I think Torres is hot!

My least favorite scene was between Meredith, and her shrink. Meredith had a revelation, and realized that when her mother cut her wrist it was to get attention. After all she was a "excellent surgical nurse", and would have cut her -----, if she meant it. (or similar words). I hate that scene for several reasons.

1) If someone tries to commit suicide they are not in a rational state of mind, and they might try to kill themselves by any means. It might not be the most logic means. It should be seen as a serious attempt, and not just an attention getter.

2) They mention a more effective way to commit suicide then cutting wrists. I hate that! I don't want to mention it. Oh, I knew it before, but someone not so familiar with anatomy and who saw the program might not have considered it. It might have given someone who is suicidal a deadly idea. You've heard of copy cat murders? Well, I'm sure that there are copy cat suicides. Well, at least Meredith didn't point to the area.

Did you know that the suicide rate in the U.S. is twice as large as the homicide rate? (There are an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides to one completion.) It is hidden, a stigma is still attached. I mean, when is the last time you read the obits, and saw that someone committed suicide? It's all swept under the rug.

An Uncomplimentary Blogger, Dr. Phil, and Forgiveness

This is a continuation of my last post called- What Do You Do When Someone Blogs About You? If you haven't read it, and the comments, please do so before reading further. You will not understand this post unless you read the last.

First of all I want to thank everyone that commented on my last post. Your suggestions, and remarks were kind, thoughtful, and thought provoking.

Secondly, I don't want you to think that the uncomplimentary blogger is a monster. When I knew her in real life, she was nice, sweet, and sensitive. Since then it seems that life has kicked her in the gut one to many times, and she has reacted to it. When I saw her online I was so thrilled to see my old friend that I tried to get close to her quickly. It was bad timing because she was dealing with some recent kicks in the gut, and wasn't ready to be friends with anyone. However, the way in which she treated and rejected me was hash, threatening, and undeserving.

I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Phil McGraw, but on Wednesday the 23rd he said some things that made sense to me. The segment was about Mormon, (LDS), boys that were kicked out of their homes. They were force to leave because they were seen as a threat to some of the older polygamist men. This is the same compound in Texas that has been on the news.

Dr. Phil was talking with these boys, and asked them if they wanted to go back home if give the chance. The boys said yes, but knew that they would be treated like outsiders. They knew that the door would be locked on them. Dr. Phil said that even though they were rejected, they could get closure just by making it known that they still wanted a relationship, and keeping the door of their hearts open, and forgiving. I saw the parallel. I was rejected by a former good friend, someone who I regarded as family. I now believe that I need to continue to leave the door open, forgive, and turn the other cheek. Maybe this can bring me closure. This person knows my e-mail address, and can get in touch with me if she wants. There is no need to overreact, and to stop blogging. I once wrote her in an e-mail that "it would be a shame if we could not find a way to be friends". I still believe that, but maybe this isn't the day for it. It's poor timing.

What Do You Do When Someone Blogs About You?

I'm just so doggone tired of this!

What do you do when someone blogs about you in a negative way, tells lies, and won't stop? I reached out my hand in friendship to a fellow blogger. Actually we knew each other years ago in real life, had a good relationship, and were very close. I don't want to be specific about the nature of the relationship. Anyway, when I saw her online and tired to befriend her, she didn't want to be friends. She said that she had severe mental problems, and couldn't handle being friends. Then she told me to go to hell, and not to contact her. It hurt. We do have history. I care about her. But what can you do? So I'm leaving her alone.

The thing is that she blogs about me every now and then. And she has done it again very recently. It is obviously about me. I recognize myself, although she never mentions me by name. She sometimes ends her posts with, "this is about me, not you". Or something similar. Oh really? Interesting she would end it that way. Don't you think so? Also... get this... she has a blog diary that is private. If she wants to get something off her chest, why not use her online locked diary? Why put this stuff in a blog that she knows I can read? Plus she is writing things that simply are not true. It's like she is allowed to talk to me or gossip about me, but I am not allowed to respond. She is taunting, and teasing me. Don't you think so?

I find it interesting that she is thinking about me so much. She continues to send messages to me though her blog, even after she told me to leave her alone. However, I have been silent, left her alone, and stopped e-mailing her long ago.

I have kept the lines of communication open on my end. (I'm to tender-hearted sometimes.) If she wants to say something about me then make it a 2 way communication so I can respond! What she is doing is not right, kind, or far!

Therapy - What Works?

As you might know, I am not fond of therapy. I have blogged about it. Also my cousin has seen some scary things. So I have my reservations concerning therapy.

Ever since my father's death I have had difficulty with anxiety, and depression. Well, the anxiety is nothing new, but the depression is circumstantial. It's been years since his death, and I'm not snapping out of it. My last bout with depression was very difficult. Possibly sever depression. I'm doing fairly good now, comparatively speaking. But I'm aware that I can plummet into depression soon again. In fact I might be going through something difficult soon, that might trigger the depression. I'm starting to think that I might need some therapy to snap me out of this cycle, even though I'm not crazy about the idea.

I want something effective. So do you know which therapy works? I'm sure that there have been some studies somewhere on it. And what medications work? I don't want to end up a gunny pig. Maybe I should avoid meds? So if you have some legitimate stats, or are a therapist, I would appreciate hearing from you. Please back up what your comment with evidence. Personal testimonies are good too. Thanks!

P.S. I don't know much about physiology, and don't know the terminology, so please keep this in mind when replying.

Blogging and Opposing Points of View

I have noticed when I read blogs, that people don't seem to voice a point of view that differs from the blog owners. I can understand this. After all when we write a comment, we are hoping that the blog owner will like us, blogroll us, and comment on our blog. However, I have seen some very controversial posts that are extremely one sided.

Personally when I write a post on - Same-Sex Marriage, and ECT Electroconvulsive Therapy, I expect to hear an opposing point of view. After all these are highly controversial topics. So please feel free to voice your opinion, in a kind, caring, and respectful manner. I want to hear what you truly think. It won't offend me if we don't see eye to eye. Of course I am not looking for rude, or sassy, comments either.

One good example of a comment that has an opposing view is found in "Therapy and Me." It's the first comment. Thank you anonymous commentor for saying what you truly think in a nice way!

By the way, you can voice your opinion now by voting on same-sex marriage. The poll is to your left. It is free, and confidential. ;o)

cartoon origin

I have Evidence!

(Betsy walked into Linda's office with several office memos tucked under her arm.) You know I don't like a lot of office memos. I asked you not to send so many, but you did. I have EVIDENCE! (She yelled as she slammed the memos down on her coworkers desk).

(Linda looked stunned. It was obvious she didn't see this coming. She knew that Betsy had a problem with the volume of memo's, and thought that she had cut back on them to Betsy's satisfaction.)

(Betsy unloaded on Linda. Pointing to the office memos) Look! This is from 1/20, 1/19, 1/15, 1/14 etc. EVIDENCE! You are being disrespectful to me!

(Linda thumbed though the office memos with a bewildered look on her face. She never expected this outburst of anger. And Betsy had said nothing since Linda cut down on the memo's to her. Linda thought that things were fine between them.)

Just a moment Betsy. (Linda said, as she sifted though the responses to the office memos that Betsy sent to her.)

Ah, here it is. Here is your letter that you sent to me requesting that I cut down on office memos to you. Your letter states that I should send you office memos "once or twice a week, or less frequently." Later, you sent me a reminder letter that was very vague. It states. Send me memos "sometimes, off and on". I know that I cut down, (Linda explained.) I didn't actually count the memos at the time, (Linda picked up, and looked at the memos), but it looks like on average it was twice a week. I thought I was doing well in that area for you. You are the only one here that has a problem with my memos, but I cut down on the ones that I send to you, at your request. I have several people that I send memos to on a more frequent basis, they seem to enjoy them. I get a good response. Besides that, I have keep the memos to you shorter, and of a less personal nature. Keeping things light.

You see Betsy, I enjoy sending office memos to people, like you enjoy Blogging. Plus it is my main means of communication, but I cut down at your request. I thought that I was doing rather well, and was surprised to see you so angry when you entered my office. In the month that I cut down on office memos, you gave no indication whatsoever that you had a problem with my memos. This came out of the blue. I feel that I have bent backward to meet your request, but you did not appreciate my effort.

Related Post: Betsy and Linda (Office Talk)

Poll Results for ETC- Electroconvulsive Therapy

I recently took a poll concerning my post on ETC - Electroconvulsive Therapy or Shock Treatments.

I had good participation especially considering this is a new blog. The results are as follows...

Question- What do you think of ECT- Electroconvulsive Therapy?

It's barbaric and dangerous.- 10 votes.

The doctors/facilities use it to increase there $. - 1 Vote.

It could be beneficial , but use with caution. - 1 Vote.

It's effective as any other method of therapy.- 0 Votes

It's fantastic! A modern day miracle.- 0 Votes


I thank all those who participated in the poll! I hope to have another poll soon about another topic.


About these 2 YouTube videos- Diana Loper. "It only takes a minute to destroy a brain. At 24, Diana Loper was given electroshock for post-partum depression and an inability to sleep after the birth of her child. After 24 treatments, she was released in a far worse condition, and could no longer care for herself or her family . As a result, her husband divorced her and her child was taken away by the courts. This is her story..."

Diana Loper's Story Part- 1



Diana Loper's Story Part- 2

Standing with a Pal

A Pal of mine is apparently being stalked. She posted an e-mail on her blog that she apparently received from the stalker. I think it's a recent e-mail, but not sure. I hope it's not the same person who was stalking her several months ago. Due to confidentiality I won't give any details.

I can empathize with her. I was stalked before, myself. My heart, and good thoughts go out to her. Unfortunately she reacted by pulling back from everyone. But recently she reached out to me by adding me to her "Blog Soldiers" and "del.icio.us", so that when I registered I was lead to her blog. Cool!

I wish her the best, and stand with her. In doing so, I have added several websites to my blog under the heading "Being Stalked? Good resources". I plan to leave them up for about a week.

Breathe Just Breathe!