Friday, April 16, 2010
Although my updates all sound the same these days, it occurred to me that I'm doing something healthy. I'm working hard to get better both physically and mentally.
Counseling - I give my counselor mixed reviews. On one hand he seems to flounder without focus. However, when I push him, he shows some knowledge. Once again I told him how frightened I was that I might go back into a more severe depression. I mentioned it several times during one session, and he finally heard me. He told me a few things which were helpful. Then gave me homework. Four things to do aimed at keeping me out of severe depression. Not particularly hard things, but practical. Small steps. Well, it's about time! Finally I feel like we might be getting somewhere. However, I would feel better if he had tested me and got a base line to compare. Instead he has an off the cuff, unorganized approach that doesn't get me far fast.
Medical - I've had to push hard to get to see a specialist. I had to push my doctor Homer Simpson like crazy. The specialist is in the mist of testing me. He wants to do a CaT scan, but it will take awhile to get it funded. So I wait for the phone call. However, the specialist did rule out one major disease that I could have had. But he did say that I defiantly should not have abnormal cells in my blood. So the question remains - What is my disease, and is it curable? Hopefully further testing will reveal it.
Now that the depression has lessened I'm trying hard to get better. I pray that God meets me half way.