Thursday, April 24, 2008

An Uncomplimentary Blogger, Dr. Phil, and Forgiveness

This is a continuation of my last post called- What Do You Do When Someone Blogs About You? If you haven't read it, and the comments, please do so before reading further. You will not understand this post unless you read the last.

First of all I want to thank everyone that commented on my last post. Your suggestions, and remarks were kind, thoughtful, and thought provoking.

Secondly, I don't want you to think that the uncomplimentary blogger is a monster. When I knew her in real life, she was nice, sweet, and sensitive. Since then it seems that life has kicked her in the gut one to many times, and she has reacted to it. When I saw her online I was so thrilled to see my old friend that I tried to get close to her quickly. It was bad timing because she was dealing with some recent kicks in the gut, and wasn't ready to be friends with anyone. However, the way in which she treated and rejected me was hash, threatening, and undeserving.

I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Phil McGraw, but on Wednesday the 23rd he said some things that made sense to me. The segment was about Mormon, (LDS), boys that were kicked out of their homes. They were force to leave because they were seen as a threat to some of the older polygamist men. This is the same compound in Texas that has been on the news.

Dr. Phil was talking with these boys, and asked them if they wanted to go back home if give the chance. The boys said yes, but knew that they would be treated like outsiders. They knew that the door would be locked on them. Dr. Phil said that even though they were rejected, they could get closure just by making it known that they still wanted a relationship, and keeping the door of their hearts open, and forgiving. I saw the parallel. I was rejected by a former good friend, someone who I regarded as family. I now believe that I need to continue to leave the door open, forgive, and turn the other cheek. Maybe this can bring me closure. This person knows my e-mail address, and can get in touch with me if she wants. There is no need to overreact, and to stop blogging. I once wrote her in an e-mail that "it would be a shame if we could not find a way to be friends". I still believe that, but maybe this isn't the day for it. It's poor timing.


Anonymous said...

I hope everything works out well. Something like this happened to me with a friend too, maybe your friend just needs some time and space.

Give it some time and she'll probably get back to you.

LadyBanana said...

What you say is right, leave the door open and leave it at that.

Life goes on, we all change and we don't know what's around the corner so keep not only an open door but an open heart.. and don't forget to enjoy what you have right now rather than thinking too much about what was, and what could be!

Ohhh I'm good at giving advice, pity I don't always even listen to

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi -a,

I'm sorry that you went through something similar. It can be heartbreaking.

Yes, I will give it time.

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi ladybanana,

I was starting to get a little bitter. It's easy to want to reject someone, who rejects you. But I had to get my perspective right, and keep my heart open. And door open.