IF I saw a therapist...
If you have been wondering, no, I have not seen a therapist yet. I'm doing good depression wise. The anxiety is better too. I have stopped having panic attacks when I pull into the parking lot at work. However, the depression seems to come during winter. Last winter was one of my worst times. I wouldn't put in writing how bad it was. It is suppose to snow soon, and I'm getting apprehensive. I can't go through that again.
For those of you who are new, this is why I'm not crazy about therapy. In a nut shell, I knew two people when I was younger. They both had mental problems. They both went to a therapist for many years, and both became therapists. Today they are significantly worse. They are the two most mentally ill people that I have ever met in my life. And they are therapists!
A friend of mine is going though therapy, and frankly I don't know if I could go through the CRAP that she is. Is it me, or do therapists purposely take away hope? Will they try to pump me full of drugs too? Will they tell me that I have 12 things wrong with me, will never get cured, and take away my hope too? Will they ask me if I'm suicidal too? And what if I said yes, would they lock me up? I'm not suicidal now, but many depressed people are. I just don't want to go through the crap that my friend is. I think that she is brave, but it angers me the way that she is being treated. And honestly, how can I put my mental welfare into the hands of a therapist, especially when I know two very mentally ill therapists? Therapy obviously didn't work for them. They just got worse, even after 15 + years of treatment.
If you have been to therapy I would love to hear both success stories, and horror stories. I want to know what goes on in therapy, and is it effective? How where you treated? What was done to you?
Added Later: I just started reading this, but it looks interesting...
HealthyPlace.com Depression Community
Also a different page on the same site Herbs & Women Hormones
Photo credit: Hey, check out "The Dragon Fly Initiative"
37 comments:
/shuffles feet.
I am training to be a counsellor/therapist at the moment. I think its different in England as I wont be dealing with any type of medication. Its all talk type therapy that I am learning.
When I started training to be a counsellor, I had no idea that I would have to turn myself inside and open cans of worms that didn't want to be open and this is just in the training. Although some of the it has been bloody horrible/uncomfortable, I absolutely have learnt so much about myself. Without going through that process, I don't think I would/will be a good therapist.
The people that I am training with, are the nicest, warmest people I have ever met in my life. I can only vouch for them, as they are the only therapists I know.
Any idea what type of therapy you would maybe someday kinda want to go?
Also I love this post and the questions, hopefully the answers will help me out too.
I've never gone to one, but I've had friends who have, and have told me that the therapists are sometimes the ones that need the most help.
i have never been to professional therapists but i always thought i'll probably be better if i saw one. i don't know, but i am so conflicted with the therapist idea. it helps some, it makes others worse. i guess it's safe to say it is very subjective.
Hi Claire,
Welcome to my blog!
Thanks for answering this post. I was hoping to here from therapists too. So you don't use meds in England? Or is that you have to involve a doctor?
I'm not sure what type of therapy I would have to have. Someone told me that Cognitive therapy might be good for me. But I don't have health insurance so it may depend on the therapist. I'd feel better if I knew what was coming, and had time to process it. I don't want something sprung on me.
Hi dmarks,
Hm, just as I have suspected.
Hi may,
"it helps some, it makes others worse. i guess it's safe to say it is very subjective."
Do you have any examples of this?
I want to get help too, May. I'm wondering if something outside of conventional therapy would help. I know a church that gives good counseling, but if they find out I'm gay they might see that as something that I need to get healed of too.
Hi Lady Banana,
I greatly appreciate you sharing that with me. I'm sorry that you have had such difficulties. I think that it's extraordinary that you figured it out for yourself!
You brought up several excellent points...
"But I never found any of them made me feel any better - I felt they made me expose things that I couldn't handle and gave me no help in how to deal with such stuff."
Yes, therapy isn't any good unless they know how to fix you. I don't want to be like an open wound that does not heal.
Your problem was based on something medical. That's a good point. A therapists in another post told me to check into medical causes & named them. I will have to look at that again. But I think that I'll need another job, and to get health insurance for that.
I'm sorry that it's a hard day, and that you miss your children. But think of how much neater your house is now? ;o) Don't cry for to long. You have lots of blog friends who care about you, and would love to hear from you. If course you seem to have a good man there too. ;o) I remember when you got flowers for "no reason." That's very unusual for a guy. Lucky lady! Of course if all else fails you could pet your pussy.
Hi Evil Genius,
I'm sorry that your having problems too. I hope that you don't stay away from therapy because of this post. I'm just trying to think things out, with the help of my readers, before I get bad again, (but I hope that I won't go through that again!)
Well, keep me posted as to your progress. Maybe we can all help each other out a bit.
Hi Jedi Master Daryl,
Wow! This is another excellent post!
I do know a little about medicine, but almost nothing about psychologically, or psyc drugs. So I have some questions...
I'm not crazy about the idea of taking a drug. Herbs sound better to me. I think it was Valerian root that I looked into. So why not herbs? And what are "SSRI's" & "a tricyclic". If I do take something I don't want it to knock me out, have bad side effects, or change my personality. Just something mild that wont hurt me & will lift my spirits a bit.
S.A.D. - Yes, I think I might have it. We have very dark, snowy, long winters here in Upstate NY. I don't have much money so is there a special light bulb I can put in my lamp? Or something cheep?
A "Christian master's degree level counselor." Maybe that's more my speed. I use to attend a church, where one of the men is a counselor with a masters. The church is nearby. Maybe I should check into that? I just hope that he isn't to judgmental.
First for your questions:
Is it me, or do therapists purposely take away hope?
They are not supposed to take away your hope, and if they do, then you have The Wrong Therapist.
Will they try to pump me full of drugs too?
Depends. Sometimes medications are necessary on a short term basis, while some medications are required on a forever basis.
But that depends on weather or not your depression is "CLINICAL" or "SITUATIONAL."
Will they tell me that I have 12 things wrong with me, will never get cured, and take away my hope too?
Um. There may be 12 things wrong with you, but they are supposed to give you hope that they will be 'fixed'.
Will they ask me if I'm suicidal too?
Yes. They Will.
And what if I said yes, would they lock me up?
If you are REALLY serious about committing suicide. Yes you get locked up. For instance...
Saying you have THOUGHT about it does NOT get you locked up.
Saying you want to die and have a plan ready to execute your own death = locked up.
I agree with much of Lady Banana SOME of my 'symptoms' are tied directly into my PMS. big time. When I have PMS I really am a "CRAZY" person. I tend to scare myself. Because I cannot control my own actions / behavior.
That aside.
I have been in and out of therapy since I was 8 years old. I was court appointed to go to therapy after I had to put my biological father in jail. (Very.Long.Story.)
I hated that therapy because I was never allowed, not even for one DAY to "forget" what happened. I had to talk about it. All The Time, in graphic detail. Until I was 12.
(Thats why they have recently diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome along with a host of other titles and labels.)
By the time I was 12 I was sooooo sick of TALKING ABOUT IT, I started lighting things On Fire.
So, my mother LOCKED ME UP @ Carrier Foundation. A real live mental institute. They placed me on Lithium. Which made me a vegetable.
When I was released from that facility, I was shipped off to a 'special therapudic high school' all the way in CA.
I cannot even BEGIN to tell you what happened in that school. It would forever. I can (and one day will) write a BOOK about it. There is a book about my high school written by a former student. The book is called Gone To The Crazies by Alison Weaver.
When I "got out" of that place I was only 16 years old...but SO DONE with THERAPY.
And then I proceeded to go Buck Wild for the next 15+ years of my life.
This time, I am in therapy because I CHOSE to be in therapy.
On my own terms.
Because I was unable to stop my panic attacks, I was unable to stop or control my downward spiral. Along with many many other reasons.
I have never had a GOOD experience, until now. And I'm not even sure if this is a GOOD experience as I am only a month into it.
I can say so far it has not been a "BAD" experience. And the medications (for me) are necessary and I think they are helping. So. Far.
But, its really too early to tell.
I hope that helped you in some way shape or form.
??
xxoo
Hi meleah rebeccah,
Thanks so much for sharing, and being so honest and open with me. I really appreciate it.
I hope that you don't think that I'm a jerk. And I hope that what I said hasn't discouraged you from therapy in any way.
It's just that it's almost winter, and that's when depression hits. Things were very bad last winter. I just can't go through that again, at lest not without help. What's that saying..."Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." I have to get off my big butt, and DO something. Prepare. Right now I'm trying to figure out HOW to do that. What would work best for me.
I'm so sorry that you had such a difficult childhood. It's really odd how what happens to us in childhood effects us for decades later.
For some reason, a few years ago, I realized why I have problems with anxiety. 4 Things happened to me when I was about 12. Some were minor, others major. But my impression was that I had been rejected by my family. In reality they hadn't rejected me. But sometimes how you perceive something really sticks. That's when the anxiety, and fear of rejection took hold. The odd thing is that I know it now, but it hasn't changed things. I haven't changed.
It's odd that you also said that PMS effected you. I know that I have an imbalance of hormones, and am suppose to take medication for it. I have not been able to afford the med, so haven't taking it for many months. And I'm doing well mentally. Maybe my hormones changed again? It's just odd.
Thanks so much for your comment. Your a doll!
Hi Jedi Master Daryl,
Thanks so much for the information.
I saw that Christian counselor online awhile back. If he still is advertising maybe I will send him an e-mail. See how expensive, and if he would see someone gay. I use to attend his church, and it's close to me.
I go to a free clinic, and I was told that my doctor can't help me with mental problems. I guess they don't have finances to cover that. So I he can't test me. I will have to look for another way.
Thanks again! ;o)
I have had good and bad therapists. I think a good therapist is one who follows good client/therapist guidelines and really puts your views first.
good luck
Hi S'onnie,
Thanks! I think I'll need that luck.
my husband and I went to therapy after some marriage issues. really DID help. at the time.
Hi Vodka Mom,
Glad to hear it helped. Did you have any particular type of therapy that you want to mention? Anything in particular that helped?
xxxoooo
Hi meleah rebeccah,
Aw-shucks. *blush* Thank you!
I'm really sorry you've not had the best experiences with therapy. I had a wonderful therapist who truly enabled me to make it through several difficult years.
April is a therapist and while it could be argued that I'm biased, she's amazing. She knows when to just listen, when to push a client who wants to wallow, and when to suggest meds if necessary.
When I was looking for a therapist, my friend Amanda gave me the best piece of advice. She said "not every therapist is a good one. It's okay to try one and then leave if you don't feel like it's a good fit. Never feel bad about that."
And I didn't.
I hope you don't give up on finding a therapist who can help. He or she is out there!
Heather
thewishfulwriter
Hi Heather,
I was hoping that you, and maybe April would stop by. I read she is a therapist.
Aprils amazing? It's to bad you two don't live in Rochester. ;o)
It sounds like your friend gave you sound advice. I tend to be to trusting of authority figures, so need to keep that in mind. I'm afraid of having someone mess up my mind, or put me on some horrible drug experience.
I have popped back several times to read all the comments, it just shows how right you were to post this post.
Counselling/Therapy comes in all forms in the UK.
Counselling is generally up to masters degree level, but a lot of folks do not have formal qualifications as it is still not regulated like psychiatry is.
Its the psychiatrists and GP's that prescribe the drugs over here.
There are so many forms of therapy to chose from and I don't even know all of them, so I can see how everyone gets lost when they start looking into it.
Heather gave some great advice, and its so true.
Counsellors/therapists are not the experts on you, so they shouldn't be seen as an authority figure. You are the expert on yourself, its just nice to have someone that is totally non judgemental to bounce your thoughts and feelings off.
I don't know that much yet, because I am only just at the start of learning really. That's why I post my counselling notes on my blog, to share my journey with everyone and keep a record of my own progress.
I have just got a book on spirituality and counselling, so if its any good, I will be sure to recommend it to you.
The style of therapy I will be qualified is an Integrated approach, underpinned by person centred theory. Yes I know that doesn't mean much to you, lol. Its basically taking what you need from several different approaches, but the main focus is listening to client and what they need from you.
Is it okay if I link to this post in the future? I think this conversation is well worth continuing :)
I have never been clinically depressed but that is no reason that I should not read about it. I appreciare anyone who is willing to strip off their "decent" clothing and stand in the "honest" underthings no matter the subject! So the discussion about therapy is not one I can add to but one I can learn from ...thanks for being strong enough to bring it up!
Wow, what a great, honest post. I have to commend you for being so upfront and really questioning your next course of action. My one real significant brush with therapy was actually really helpful. I was 22, and had just gone thru my first ever heartbreak from my first ever boyfriend. I went for a hour-long visit, at which point the therapist told me basically "You're OK, make sure to get out of the house, be social, continue working out." Sounds simple, but it really helped to hear a professional put it that way. And you know, he was right: I was OK.
Hi Claire,
It's good to see you back!
I popped over to your blog, and it looks good. I can tell that you’re an intelligent young woman. I wish you the best in your studies.
Looks like therapy is different here then in the UK.
Sure, you can link to this post. As long as you say wonderful things about me. ;o) Thank you for asking.
twofinches!
Hey, that was you.
You’ve come a long way blog wise. TWO blogs, a photo, and all. That’s great! It’s good to see you again. I have enjoyed you input on different matters in the past.
I MIGHT have a post concerning Gov. Palin soon. Mostly photos of her, plus. Nothing bad. I think that you might enjoy it.
I see that you’re a writer. For some reason I’ve been bumping into a lot of online writers. I don’t know why. Maybe God has some purpose in that.
I don’t think that I’m clinically depressed. I think that it is situational depression that came about after my relative’s death. I’ve had it off and on for years, but can’t seem to shake it. I have been doing good for about half a year now, but it seem to come back in winter, so I’m getting a bit nerves.
Well, good to see you again. Stop by any time! ;o)
Hi WannabeMommy,
A one hour visit and you were fine? Um, what's that shrinks phone number. ;o)
I think depression is common and the danger is that perhaps we dont recognise when we cross the line and really need external help.
Isnt there a particular syndrome associated with the change of seasons? Seasonal something or other?
Two years ago I was left for dead by a psychopath. He wasnt a stranger but someone I lived with and loved. I never talk about it now to anyone because most people wouldnt believe my story. I got a lot of help by meeting others in a discussion forum who were victims of Narcissists or Psychopaths - they understood what I was going through. Counsellors dont. I dont think anyone can give you advice until they have walked in your shoes. That is my reality. I get more help from those friends I met on those discussion boards then anywhere.
I started my blog and decided to only focus on positive things. My life is more than the time I spent with that person. It helps. I had therapy for a brief while but didnt find it helped. I didnt take medication either. The BEST thing for me was exercise. Walking in particular. If that hadnt worked I would have gone on medication I think.
I still have nightmares and I am just working through it. This experience will have a long term impact on me and I accept that. Some day I feel down and get upset easily. I have flash backs. My life will be forever changed but out of the bad stuff can come good too.
I love your honesty and the fact you are taking control of your life and what you do with it. I wish I could help moreso. But sometimes we cannot do it alone and we need help to get out of the black hole faster otherwise we can sink and do more damage.
I would try the exercise first, a good diet and sleep well. Your work is highly stressed I would imagine too. Shop around for a counsellor/therapist. Ask around. Try and get a good one - there are good ones out there. I went about 7 times to the one I had. She at least made me realise my depression was episodic - caused by an event. Anyway all the best and I am happy to help and support you in any way I can.
Its something a lot of us may go through at various times in our life and nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of.
I found a link stangely enough just as I was browsing the MSN homepage - its called Seasonal Affective disorder and here is a link for more info
http://style.uk.msn.com/wellbeing/mindbodysoul/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=9985684
Hi Lilly's Life,
"Isnt there a particular syndrome associated with the change of seasons?"
Yes, S.A.D. Seasonal ah, something, or other. I think that I might have it. I need to get a special light of some kind. I guess.
Wow! I'm so sorry you were attacked. I think that one of my exes is a Psychopath. Fortunately I got out of the relationship quickly.
Discussion forum? Which type? Yahoo?
"Exercise...a good diet and sleep" That is sound advice. But I have a problem with implementing it. I'm not good at doing anything for long that I don't like. I hate exercise. I can do it for a month or 2, but can't stay with it. I try to eat well. Sleep is difficult. I often work nights, but the body doesn't want to sleep days.
If you come up with any other ideas I'd love to here them. I have to formulate a plan, and get moving on it.
Hi Lilly's Life,
Hey, thanks! I will check into it!
I am pretty sure that there are lots of Person Centred counsellors in America, as Carl Rogers one of the major theorists was an American. So look out for the words, person centred, Rogerian, humanistic, when/if you look for a therapist again.
If you want a more goal orientated style of counselling, where you stay in the "here and now" and don't dwell on past issues, then CBT style counselling is something that you should look into.
Well I will gladly hop back here routinely to see what your mind comes up with...I hope you visit my blog(s) as well. The fact that we likely do not agree on all things and yet have respect and admiration for those who can disagree with respect , will make you a valued asset to my comment area. I like your blog! I did copy your idea of a top poster widget...thanks!
Hi Lilly's Life,
Thanks for the link. I took a quick look, and it looks interesting.
Hi Claire,
What's the advantage to having a Person Centered counselor? I don't think I got that.
Hi twofinches,
Yes, I'm glad that we can stay in touch.
I grabbed most of my widget from other blogs, so no problem. ;o)
Just came across your blog through Vodka Mom - I just adore her. Anyhow, just starting to read your posts...and had to comment on therapy (and by the way, my HUSBAND would love Wednesday's lesbian picture...just might have to share with him tonight)...I have been to several therapists - and really when you find the one you are comfortable with, the one you connect with, the one that you can truly be honest with without feeling like they will judge you, then you will be able to learn wonders. I have had 2 of them...all through years of a not-so-good marriage and then post years dealing with my own choices in partners, and being the best mom I could be to my girls. If you do the work, your life can literally change. I hope you will pursue...I will keep reading to learn more as I've only gotten through your latest few posts!
Hi Susan,
Welcome to my blog!
Vodka Mom is new to me, but I think she's going to be one of my favorites. She has a wonderful sense of humor, and good common sense also. She's really cool!
It sounds like you found a good therapist. I'm glad it worked well for you. I don't know anything about therapy, so that's why I asked my readers.
Thanks for the encouragement!
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