Monday, February 15, 2010

The Shrink & I Are Not A Match, plus Depression Update

CBC Test - I'll find out the results in a few days. Meanwhile, I'm going nutz, it's been almost 3 weeks! The vast majority of the time I feel good and am pain free. The low grade fever continues, and I'm monitoring it per doctor. Cross your fingers.

Depression - I FEEL much better. I wish it was spring so I could go for a walk, and enjoy the sun and flowers. I'm still on the depression roller-coaster, but just on the upswing. I know I will come down again, meanwhile I'm looking for an exit sign. By the way, I've been officially out of work per doctor, however, I'm very reluctant to show the doctors note. I feel very uncomfortable being dependant on a doctor, and the shrink to give me permission to return to work. Also even though the note is generalized I'm afraid I will be asked for an explanation and it will get out that I have mental problems.

Da Shrink - I think he means well and cares, but I find him intrusive, intense, and pushy. I'm a private person and need some space. I have opened up a lot in the short time I've been seeing him, but I don't want to disclose everything. He's going to look up some info for me and call me at home. I don't want him calling me at home! It's not urgent. Shouldn't there be some boundaries? How do I tell this guy to take a step back? He is suppose to help me feel less stressed, not more stressed and uncomfortable. Honestly, this guy is more intense than I am. Besides he hasn't dealt with my grief issue which is the source of the depression. I don't think we have a match. Does anyone know a good free shrink in my area? Fortunately our next meeting is on the same day that I see my doctor about the CBC results, so I have a good reason to cancel, and have.


Speedcat Hollydale said...


You know, a winter walk can be just as invigorating, sometimes more so than in the summer. I trek out all the time around the neighborhood trails ;-)

Awake In Rochester said...

Hey Speedy,

Yes, but to much ice on the sidewalks here. I’m afraid of falling. Looking forward to SPRING! Ohhhhh, come quickly! ;)

Rebecca said...

I would just tell Doc what you wrote here - surely he should respect/understand what you have to say.

I'm praying for spring to come soon - for both of our sakes!

Mike Golch said...

Sometimes I just pop a c/d in and listen/dance that helps me.

S'onnie said...

I am sorry to hear thing haven't gone as smoothly as you would have liked with the shrinky-dink. I agree with Rebecca, I would tell him he is crossing your personal boundries. As a shrink he should understand and fit in with you.

Tammy said...

I hope everything works out for you. The winter is starting to drive me batty as well....can't wait for spring!

CAROLDEE said...

HI.. hope things went okay.. I know it can be tough waiting things out.. Hang in there..
Take care : )

Lady Banana said...

We had some sun here today and although I barely saw any from work it was nice - very uplifting!

When you have the fever do you actually take your temperature and if so how high does it get?

meleah rebeccah said...

Im glad your depression is getting better each day. And I have found that walking alone has made a HUGE difference in my own life. So much so, that I even went walking IN THE BLIZZARD!

Now, as for the shrink? I think you should tell him EXACTLY what you wrote in this post.

You need to be able to communicate HONESTLY with your doctor and AT YOUR OWN PACE.

Please dont give UP on him and say that you are NOT a match, at least NOT YET. Because there is NO DOCTOR that will know just what you need unless you tell them!!

Part of therapy working is being able to express yourself. It might be SCARY to "confront" your shrink, but if you find a way to speak diplomatically? You will feel more empowered. You will feel more comfortable and, you just might REALLY be able to start healing by getting on to the REAL ISSUES and dealing with the grief!

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi buddies! .... I can't tell the shrink because I already said that I haven't seen a shrink for years because 2 shrinks I know are major messed up. I think the poor guy is overcompensating. lol But he freeks me out........Mike, music is a good idea........LB, I sent you an email. ;) .........Meleah, You go girl! Im proud of you!