Thursday, July 3, 2008

To the Uncomplimentary Blogger


To my readers. Since this post is to the Uncomplimentary Blogger you will not fully understand what is going on because I will be skipping some important details that the Uncomplimentary Blogger already knows. If your a regular reader you will understand that this is something that has gone on for quite sometime.

Dear Uncomplimentary Blogger,

On Wednesday I heard from both you, and that other person from my past with whom we are both acquainted. Both of you on the same day! It was like a one-two punch to my gut. She sent me an e-mail, and I dealt with her directly. You viewed my blog, and made sure that I knew it. It was like you jumped up, and down in the room. I won't go into specifics, you know what I'm talking about. You're starting to revert to your passive aggressive ways. You chose to make yourself known, but you don't want the same treatment. That's a double standard. Your like the kid who puts a finger one inch from someones face and taunts - "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" Then you go into hiding. Then the cycle is repeated again, and again, and again. Frankly, I would rather you deal with me directly like the other person did, but you can't seem to.

Your actions have been extremely inconsistent. You like me, then hate me. Like me/hate me. Like me/hate me. You push me away, then try to get my attention and pull me towards you. Push/pull, push/pull, push/pull. In fact that's how you were in our two real time relationships years ago. I noticed from reading your blogs in past months that you're like that in everything. You're crazy for a certain TV star one month, the next you're not. You like a list of TV show one month, the next you don't like any of them. I didn't know what was wrong with you, but I knew that it wasn't normal. You admitted in an e-mail to me many months ago that you had severe mental problems, but didn't elaborate. Fortunately Dr. Deb wrote about it in her blog. (Thank you Dr. Deb.) I learned that it's called emotional ambivalence.

I believe that it is difficult for you to make up your mind about me because of this neurotic conflict. Therefore, I need to intervene, so I have done the following...

1) I have taken all your blogs in my reader and put them in one folder, and tucked that folder away at the bottom of my reader. Plus I'm primarily using another reader, (bloglines), which does not have any of your blogs. In other words I will not be reading your blogs, but will keep them just in case.

2) I have removed the various trackers from my blog. So if you decide to visit my blog I will not know unless you leave a comment, and I highly doubt that you will.

I'm not going to delete my blog because of your games. I don't need to.

I don't want you to think that I have rejected you. I have not! However, I have just made it very difficult for you to play these games. I need some consistency. I also need you to contact me directly, or not at all. No more games! You know my full name, and that I live in the Rochester area. I'm in the phone book. You can call me if/when you are ready for a consistent relationship, or you can e-mail me. I realize that you might have emotional ambivalence for the rest of your life, but if you get it reasonably under control I will be open to contact, but not before. This is not easy for me because I care about you. In fact I am praying that you will get better, but I can't take this any longer. I have been rejected too, and the anxiety that I have stems from rejection. I’m dealing with issues of rejection from my past and just can’t handle these on/off, love/hate, push/pull games. I am trying to heal now. I don't need more rejection, more wounds.

So you can talk to me, (or about me), as much as you want on your blog. Send me all those signals, jump up and down trying to get my attention, but ... I WILL NOT NOTICE.

ENOUGH! I'M NOT PLAYING YOUR GAMES!

16 comments:

S'onnie said...

I don't know who you are talking to or about but I did want to say its healthy to address it in this way in my opinion. You are stating the behaviour you don't like. Saying what you are doing and why. I don't like game playing and think its good to address it head on.

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi S'onnie,

Thanks for the support.

This has been going on for months. I've tried to address it before, but that didn't work so I had to take action. I hope that I struck a good balance between being firm, but kind.

Deb said...

It is always hard to set limits. I hope it works for you.

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi Dr. Deb,

It better work. Enough is enough. This has become counterproductive to my healing.

I'm leaving the door open for her to contact me if she wants a mature relationship. She knows how to contact me. Therefore, I don't feel as bad about enforcing the limits.

But my good doctor, if you have any suggestions I'm all ears.

LadyBanana said...

Good posting here, hope things sort out or settle for you :)

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi ladybanana,

Thanks! Is difficult dealing with someone directly who tends to hide in the shadows.

caroldee said...

HI You asked about the dry ice issue we had and I am letting you know that it worked WONDERFUL! I placed big ziploc bags full in my frigerator and took all the items out of my freezer and placed them in a cooler box with bags of dry ice. The ice here came in 10 lb bags from the company. I had been told by those that know NOT TO PUT THE DRY ICE in the FREEZER.. it will mess up your thermostat.. so I put them ina cooler and that worked wonderful. I still have some ice today and that was THURSDAY that we got it. DO NOT PLACE items right up against the ice or they will be freezer burned . Place the ice with a piece of cardboard between them. There is very little water just frost looking stuff when it disolves. Ice sold here for 73 cents a pd. and that was way way cheaper and less messy and colder than ICE.. LIVE AND LEARN.. I sure did.. that was the second time in less than 30 days we had had power off for almost 24 hours. The summer isn't over..so we may have to do it again.. I sure hope not though.. Hope your 4th was a happy one!!

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi caroldee,

Thanks for getting back to me. I have never heard of using dry ice like this before. It sounds better then regular ice. Thanks for the tip! I'm glad that you were able to save your refrigerated items this time.

Tracy said...

I am sorry you are having problems with who ever is bothering you! Not cool of them at all.

Hope your 4th was a wonderful one!

Hugs and blessings

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi Tracy,

Thank you.

I think that my 2 step plan will help a great deal. Now if she creates some mischief, I will not know about it. So she won't be bothering me. I am now only open to direct communication from her.

She's not a bad person, but she has some significant mental problems. I'm praying that she will get better so she can have a more peaceful, and enjoyable life.

- A said...

Sorry to hear that this is coming back to haunt you again .. it's like this bug you thought you smashed with your shoes, lol.

Hope this is the last you have to deal with this ..

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi -a,

Like I said before, she's a nice person, but she's just messed up. Frankly, I just had enough of the games.

I hope that it will be the end of the mischief too. She will need to contact me directly for me to notice her now.

Take a lessen from me. When you get older, and feel like calling up old friends & lovers from your past... DON'T. It either goes well, or horrible. People change, sometimes for the worse.

Scott said...

Sorry this is happening! Thank you for telling me to read it. I checked both of my blogs and was shocked to see that your blog wasn't on the blogroll. Then I remembered that you didn't want to be blogrolled, so I had to google your blog.

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi Scott,

Thanks! I thought that you could relate since your going through some crap too.

Normally I LOVE to be blogrolled, but that is the exception. I hope you understand. If not drop me an e-mail and I will be glad to elaborate, but I don't want to put it in print here.

meleah rebeccah said...

Never delete your blog for anyone.

DO NOT give people that much power.

and good for you for standing up for yourself.

KUDOS

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi meleah rebeccah,

Thanks!

Yes, I have decided that I wasn't going to let her manipulate me, not anymore.

She has a great deal of anger, maybe rage, that has nothing to do with me. Yet she occasionally likes to use me as her emotional punching bag. Not any more. I've had enough.