Friday, February 26, 2010

Oh, What a Relief!

A snowstorm is not just a snowstorm. So far this winter has been mild, and almost snowstorm free. In general I'm glad for that, but there is something about a good old-fashioned snowstorm like we are having now. Living in Upstate, NY, I've seen them my whole life. Having one is a sign of normalcy, familiarity. It's the order of things around here. Snowstorms bring memories of childhood - sledding, angles in the snow, snow men, with hot cocoa and cookies after. I've been so preoccupied with the possibility of a looming disease that a snowstorm is a nice reminder of normalcy, and pleasant childhood days. So I look out the window and smile as the fluffy, clean, flakes, floating down. Then wrapped up in my warm flannel nightgown, I eat hot soup in my comfortable lazy-boy chair. Later I will have traditional hot cocoa. All is well. Normal. At lest for today. It's a temporary respite from my worried mind... Of course it dosn't hurt that I don't need to drive in this mess! ;)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - A storm in Rochester?

The white stuff might be coming back to Rochester! How is your area?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Quick Update, plus Huge Storm Coming.

Quick, choppy, update on cell instead of using library computer because need food etc before huge storm hits Thus-Sun. TV says maybe worst in 2 yrs! Only 2nd notable storm this season...UPDATE FROM LAST POST-Left message for docs boss (not typical of me), said it's been 3 weeks since odd CBC results, and I won't get interpretation of it for a mo. Ek! Next day my doc called on his day off! He had called a hematologist who will give me a free consultation. Finally! Guess my doc got chewed out by his boss! Now waiting for hematologist to call. Busy studding disease I think I have. I'm tring to prepare emotionally for worst news, and to have some good questions for him. Prayers/good thoughts greatly appreciated!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My Doctor, Homer Simpson

My doctor acted like Homer Simpson today. As you may recall I have been worried about my CBC test results. I have had a high white blood cell count, low grade fever, and some other symptoms for months now. The first CBC test also indicated some possible abnormal cells, but was discarded. So I took another CBC blood test. My doctor was supposed to consult with an hematologist, and let me know about it today. I have been going crazy with worry for the last 3 weeks! I only slept one hour last night.
I found out today that my doctor hadn't even looked at the new CBC test! As we sat waiting for it, he asked me about my symptoms, fever, and pains that I have been having. He told me that the fever wasn't all that high, and that my symptoms were due to depression. In other words, all in my head. I reminded him that I have been in depression for years, but never had a fever or other symptoms until recently. In fact I have only seen him once a year until now.
The nurse brought in the CBC result that she just got from the lab. Homer, um, my doctor looked over the results and said that my white blood count was still elevated, and possibly some abnormal cells. He said that it was "cause for concern." Well, DAH!!! I already knew that from the last CBC. He was suppose to consult the hematologist, and tell me his findings today. Now I have to wait another month until he does so. Anyone have some Valium? Well, that's a free clinic for you. Slower then molasses. Um, is there a hematologist out there?

Wordless Wednesday - Counselor Dianna Troi

Counselor Dianna Troi (Marina Sirtis) of Star Trek The Next Generation. Oh, how I wish she was my counselor!

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Shrink & I Are Not A Match, plus Depression Update

CBC Test - I'll find out the results in a few days. Meanwhile, I'm going nutz, it's been almost 3 weeks! The vast majority of the time I feel good and am pain free. The low grade fever continues, and I'm monitoring it per doctor. Cross your fingers.

Depression - I FEEL much better. I wish it was spring so I could go for a walk, and enjoy the sun and flowers. I'm still on the depression roller-coaster, but just on the upswing. I know I will come down again, meanwhile I'm looking for an exit sign. By the way, I've been officially out of work per doctor, however, I'm very reluctant to show the doctors note. I feel very uncomfortable being dependant on a doctor, and the shrink to give me permission to return to work. Also even though the note is generalized I'm afraid I will be asked for an explanation and it will get out that I have mental problems.

Da Shrink - I think he means well and cares, but I find him intrusive, intense, and pushy. I'm a private person and need some space. I have opened up a lot in the short time I've been seeing him, but I don't want to disclose everything. He's going to look up some info for me and call me at home. I don't want him calling me at home! It's not urgent. Shouldn't there be some boundaries? How do I tell this guy to take a step back? He is suppose to help me feel less stressed, not more stressed and uncomfortable. Honestly, this guy is more intense than I am. Besides he hasn't dealt with my grief issue which is the source of the depression. I don't think we have a match. Does anyone know a good free shrink in my area? Fortunately our next meeting is on the same day that I see my doctor about the CBC results, so I have a good reason to cancel, and have.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day! - I'll be Romancing Myself

I've been single for awhile now. Every Valentines day when I'm alone I get the blues. Instead of feeling down this year, I will romance myself. I'll buy some inexpensive flowers and candy. I'll make a delicious, yet simple dinner, or order take out if I feel like it. Possibly a movie, and a relaxing bubble bath. Ahhh! It would be more fun with two, but I'll do my best. ;) Have fun folks!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

NO Blizzard in Rochester, NY!

The "blizzard of 2010" gently brushed Rochester, NY. We got less than an inch of snow today in the city, (6" south of us). A dusting to 2" is expected tomorrow. Yawn! I don't know if I should feel lucky, or jealous? It's very strange to watch the local news, and hear about other cities getting slammed. This winter Washington, DC received more snow than Rochester! So far this is the only eastcoast storm that has reached us. They say that another storm is coming on Monday, but is expected to be mild here. So far it's been a nice winter in Rochester, but winter is far from over. Stay safe folks!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

What Snowstorm?

Most winters Rochester, NY gets slammed by snowstorms, but not this year. We only had one storm worth mentioning to date. All of the eastern snow storms have missed us. So today we smugly look upon the rest of the nation and say, "Now you know what we go through every freaken year!" Ah, but don't worry, a storm is brewing here for the middle of next week. Please stay safe folks, and drive carefully!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - I had a dream about...

... my beautiful friend Meleah Rebeccah. And Ohhh, the things that she did!
Hey, Check out her NEW BLOG!
Photo stolen from MOMMA MIA, MEA CULPA (hope your not angry)