Libra, Love of My Life (part 2 of 2)
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I'm a 40 something Nursing Assistant who lives in Rochester, N.Y. (upstate). I am a Christian, Bible College graduate, and a lesbian. (Yes, it confused me too for awhile.)My interests are spirituality, humor, movies, music, television, news, politics, food, youtube, and blogs of course.
E-mail... awakeinroch@gmail.com
I haven’t written much about my exes, but Libra was someone quite wonderful and remarkable. Libra was the love of my life. I’m sure that these 2 posts won’t do her justice, nor articulate how unique and charismatic she was, but I’ll give it a try. In the 1980’s I would meet Libra and have a 7 year relationship with her. This is the true story in a nutshell. To protect identities I have changed names, blurred dates, and omitted physical descriptions, etc. I wrote each small chapter as one paragraph in order to prevent this from being 3 parts. I also wrote this using two different computers so some chapters may appear different in font etc. I hope that you pay attention to the spirit of what I say rather than the form. This post is the first of two.
Background
I was in my mid to late 20’s and still a virgin when I met this endearing woman. I had previously graduated from Bible college, and was in denial concerning my sexually. Libra was approximately 10 years my senior. She had several previous relationships with both men and women. She didn’t like labels such as gay, straight, or bi. Libra was easygoing, kind, gentle, confident, charming, attractive, feminine, and compassionate. She was smart with a good memory, and was well educated. She had a fun, effervescent, personality. Her hearty, feminine contagious laughter drew people to her.
We Were On the Same Page
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Libra and I came from similar backgrounds and had similar views. We were highly compatible. We both liked easy-going, harmonious relationship, but disliked drama and arguing. We worked hard, but played easy preferring relaxing activities. I grew up an only child in the suburbs. Libra also grew up in the suburbs with only one sibling who was considerably older than her. She virtually grew up as an only child too. We were use to solitary, quiet, and space. We never asked each other to move in, nor did we need to explain to each other the need to have our own place to be alone. (To this day I have never had a roommate, except in college). We were both closeted at the time, so we were careful around each other's families. We had mutual admiration and respect. We were comfortable with each other and enjoyed each other's company. We were very best friends. Libra use to say that “sex was the icing on the cake and the cake was our relationship/friendship”. We had a great cake! As for the icing, that was great too. Libra said that she “never had an “O” before she met me". We both enjoyed a lot of good icing and “O”s.
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What Does A Lesbian Couple Do?
.The same thing that heterosexual couples do. In the beginning we would occasionally stay at a nice hotel making love like rabbits. We went on vacations together. She introduced me to
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Not Perfect
.I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, neither were we, but it was very good. In the early months I was having moral conflict over being a Christian and sleeping with a woman. I would sometimes voice my opinion to Libra which made it difficult on us. Libra wasn’t perfect either. She was great at seeing both sides of a conflict and giving good impartial advice, unless she was one of the people in the conflict. Then she acted like she couldn’t see the other person’s point of view. She just wanted to win the argument. Libra had such a good memory that she would quote me verbatim during arguing which would secretly put me in awe of her. Fortunately for me, arguments were rare because she hated arguing as much as I did. Her biggest flaw was her trouble with commitment. She tried to warn me early on saying, “I have difficulty with commitment, however, I’ve had more fun with you than anyone else”. I thought that the fun factor would make me the acceptation to the rule. I thought wrong.
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Several Christians throughout the years have told me that they equate homosexuality to alcoholism. The message to me is that they believe that being a homosexual is sinful and addictive like alcoholism, a stand a bit less harsh then what is preached at some pulpits. It is met to be consoling, (believe it or not). I understand what they mean because I grew up in a “Full Gospel” conservative Christian church. However, in a way it is a backhanded slap in the face.
I do not believe that homosexuals or the act of homosexuality is sinful. I’m a
The Bible may be written in black and white, but it is difficult to interpret. The Bible is 66 books written by about 40 authors over a period of approximately 1500 years. It was written in a different time, county, language, and very different customs. Studying the Bible and being familiar with these differences are imperative to understand it.
Some people pick up the Bible and read it believing that they can understand it that way. However, proper interpretation is in the studying. In order to understand the Bible you have to go back to the original languages, customs, keep it in context, etc. I’ve written about this before (see links below) and don’t want to get into a discussion concerning dogma, like I did in other posts (see links below).
I just wanted to remind Christians of a few things when talking to homosexuals and others with whom you may not agree. 1) Be careful not to come across as being to harsh, or judgmental. This attitude can turn some from God and the Church. 2) Study the Bible with an open mind and heart, instead of only reading it. 3) Try to love, and accept the people for who they are. If you can't accept the person, then be honest with yourself and don't befriend them, or you may do more harm then good. Mt.18:6
For more on my views concerning homosexuality, and also tips on how to study the Bible visit the links below-
As a Bible College Graduate, Why Can't You See That Homosexuality is a Sin?
What I Believe About Homosexuality and The Bible.
Posted by Awake In Rochester at 11:06 AM
Labels: Friday Funnies, fun, Funny, Gay, lesbian, Sexuality comments (17)

It's been a good week for the gay community as two more states pass laws to allow same-sex marriage, doubling the number.
The surprise came about a week ago when Iowa, a state in the heartland, changed its law. "The supreme court declared unconstitutional a law denying marriage for same-sex couples. New York-based advocacy group Lambda Legal filed the Iowa lawsuit."
"It's very important for people across the country,' says Lambda's Kevin Cathcart, "to realize this is not something that only happens on the East Coast or the West Coast, but that actually gay people actually have and deserve equal rights across the country."
Vermont just became the fourth state to allow same-sex marriage when its legislature overturned a veto by its governor.
Iowa and Vermont join, Massachusetts and Connecticut, to allow same-sex marriage in it's legislature.
"New Hampshire and New Jersey permit civil unions. California, Oregon and Washington allow domestic partnerships, which extend many of the benefits of marriage."
A recent CBS News poll found that 33% of Americans support same-sex marriage, an increase of 22% back in 2004. 41% of those under 45 support it while those over 65 show less support.
You may wonder if same sex marriage will ever be recognized by all 50 states?
"Even if public opinion keeps moving in the direction, it's sort of slowing-moving," says Joe Matthews of the New America Foundation. "It's not something that's going to happen in a couple of years. It's gonna take 10 years or 20 years before you see broad recognition of same-sex marriage."
"The day when the whole country embraces same-sex marriage may indeed be may be a long way off, David observes: Twenty-nine states have voted for a constitutional ban. And Californians recently voted to eliminate same sex marriages, though that vote is being contested in the courts."
New York states Gov. David Paterson recently said he plans to re-introduce legislation to make same-sex marriages legal in N.Y. YAHOO!
Paterson has been an outspoken supporter of marriage equality for same-sex couples. However, the Legislature bill would have to pass both houses. In 2007 former Gov. Spitzer's marriage bill stalled in the Senate. Now with the Senate in Democratic hands, gay-rights groups are more optimistic of the bill's passage this year.
Sources - CBS NEWS: Same-Sex Marriage Legalization Inevitable?
ithacajournal.com: Gov. Paterson to re-introduce same-sex marriage bill
Posted by Awake In Rochester at 6:23 PM
Labels: Gay, Gay Rights, lesbian, Politics, Sexuality comments (9)
Recently I received an e-mail from a man I didn't know. He had never commented on my blog. At the end of the e-mail he asked me to come back to God. Obviously he didn't know the first thing about evangelism, or me. I was going to delete his e-mail because I felt that he was not open to hearing me, nor did he show any interest in me as a person. But I decided to answer him anyway.
I realize that some of you may also be wondering about my view concerning homosexuality and the bible, so I'd like to share it. The e-mail referred to my post titled. "As a Bible College graduate, why can't you see that Homosexuality is a sin?" He felt that I didn't adequately state my position. Well, the main point of that post was to encourage others to study the topic, (as well as other Biblical topics) for themselves; and to give them some study tips, and tools to assist them. There are many on-line Bible study tools.
Many Christians sit in the pew listening to their pastors without truly studying the Word for themselves. So many believe what their pastors tell them, without question. I did the same thing until I went to an interdenominational Bible College. That's where I started to hear some teachings that were not consistent with my pastors teaching. I finally realized that I knew, and accepted what my pastor had taught. No more, no less. I learned in Bible College that it's good to listen to others, but ultimately one needs to study the Bible for themselves with an open mind to the Word. "Study to shew thyself approved unto God..." 2 Timothy 2:15 The key in understanding the Bible is to make a serious study for yourself, trying to keep an open mind, open heart, and with prayer.
Therefore, what I strongly suggest is that you study the topic yourself. Again, I have many studies tools, and tips listed in my previous post click here. Then after that, I suggest that you read a book by Daniel A. Helminiak called "What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality." It's one of the best books on the subject, and only 152 pages long. The listed price that I saw is $14. You might be able to find it in your local library, or on sale on-line. It would take many post worth of information for me to explain my view on homosexuality, so I will refer you to this book. It's excellent!
Photo credit
Well folks it just might be true. Two new Hollywood stars coming out.
"National Coming Out Day isn't until Oct. 11, but two of Hollywood's most-rumored stars — Clay Aiken and Lindsay Lohan — may be observing that rite of passage early today.
Internet reports beginning to circulate now feature a People magazine cover with an October date showing Aiken holding his newborn son, Parker Foster Aiken, underneath the headline "Yes, I'm gay: The 'Idol' star opens up about his emotional decision to come out."
"I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things," he's quoted as saying on the cover.
Representatives from People have not yet returned calls to the Sun-Times. A statement from the magazine, however, was posted at mtv.com, saying only: "We can confirm that Clay Aiken and his son are featured on the next issue of People...
In other closet-opening news, many online outlets are reporting that Lindsay Lohan has "confirmed" a lesbian relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson.
Lohan and Ronson rarely have been seen apart for several months, and they too have dodged direct questions about the nature of their relationship.
But Lohan called into the Los Angeles-based radio show "Loveline" last night to comment on the recent fatal plane crash that injured former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and DJ AM. Host Ted Stryker asked Lohan how long she and Lohan had been "going out."
"Like two years? One year? Five months, two months?" he asked.
Lohan chuckled, then said, "A long, a very long time."
Stryker ended the conversation by saying, "Well, I hope you stay together. You are a very lovely looking couple." Lohan thanked him.
Confirmation, it seems, is in the eye (or ear) of the beholder."
Read the whole article at the Chicago Sun-Times
They showed Grey's Anatomy season final again. My favorite scene was the kiss between Doctor Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith), and Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez.) I'm predictable, ha? I think Torres is hot! The You Tube video has clips of the lesbian, (or bisexual) storyline leading up to the kiss as well as the kiss, (actually kisses).
If this post looks familiar it's a partial repeat. I just had to show it again since they did. ;)
So what is your prediction concerning Torres, and Hahn? This storyline is juicy so more should come of it. Hahn seemed to be talking about Cristina Yang a lot, so maybe some complication with Yang. What do you think will happen?
"Grey's Anatomy - Lesbian Storyline" (3:46 minutes)
"Callie & Erica - I Kissed a Girl" (2:09) (Word free, brighter version)
Posted by Awake In Rochester at 3:05 AM
Labels: fun, Funny, government, News, Politics, Sarah Palin, Sexuality, Wordless Wednesday comments (3)
California gay weddings start today. Hallelujah! Here are some snippiest from various newspapers about it. At the end is a YouTube video from the Ellen Degeneres Show where she interviews John McCain about same-sex marriage. I think that she did a wonderful job. It's only 3 minutes long, and well worth seeing.
California wedding one more step on long road -
This evening, some county clerks in California will stay open late to start issuing marriage licenses and officiating the exchange of vows for gay and lesbian couples - the first of thousands of same-sex marriages expected in the coming days.
It's a bold step that has been hailed by many gay-rights advocates as a significant milestone while being attacked by opponents as an unmistakable sign of societal decay.
As of Friday evening, 646 same-sex couples had booked appointments to get marriage licenses at San Francisco City Hall over the next 10 days... But the latest wave of same-sex marriages may be short-lived. The court's ruling could be undone when California voters are asked on Nov. 4 to decide an initiative sponsored by conservative religious and legal organizations...
Calif. same-sex weddings will affect other states -
New Yorkers heading west for weddings have a big advantage over most other non-California same-sex couples. New York Gov. David Paterson has stipulated that state law requires recognition of legal marriages performed elsewhere, including same-sex unions.
Most other states have statutes or constitutional amendments specifying that marriage is between a man and a woman, and denying recognition to same-sex unions. The federal government also doesn't recognize such unions...
California economy boosted by gay marriage bonanza -
California's economy is poised for a multi-million-dollar windfall as same-sex marriages get underway here Monday, with the tourist sector eyeing a bonanza as gays and lesbians flock to the state to tie the knot...
Posted by Awake In Rochester at 3:09 AM
Labels: Ellen DeGeneres, Family, Gay, Gay Rights, government, John McCain, lesbian, Love, Lovers, News, Politics, Sexuality, Youtube comments (7)
Grey's Anatomy - Lesbian Storyline
Did you see the Grey's Anatomy season final? If you didn't, don't worry, I won't revel a great deal here. Just my favorite, and lest favorite scenes.
My favorite scene was the kiss between Erica Hahn, and Callie Torres. (I'm predictable, ha?) I think Torres is hot!
My least favorite scene was between Meredith, and her shrink. Meredith had a revelation, and realized that when her mother cut her wrist it was to get attention. After all she was a "excellent surgical nurse", and would have cut her -----, if she meant it. (or similar words). I hate that scene for several reasons.
1) If someone tries to commit suicide they are not in a rational state of mind, and they might try to kill themselves by any means. It might not be the most logic means. It should be seen as a serious attempt, and not just an attention getter.
2) They mention a more effective way to commit suicide then cutting wrists. I hate that! I don't want to mention it. Oh, I knew it before, but someone not so familiar with anatomy and who saw the program might not have considered it. It might have given someone who is suicidal a deadly idea. You've heard of copy cat murders? Well, I'm sure that there are copy cat suicides. Well, at least Meredith didn't point to the area.
Did you know that the suicide rate in the U.S. is twice as large as the homicide rate? (There are an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides to one completion.) It is hidden, a stigma is still attached. I mean, when is the last time you read the obits, and saw that someone committed suicide? It's all swept under the rug.
Posted by Awake In Rochester at 6:14 PM
Labels: Death, depression, Doctor, Friends, Gay, Gray's Anatomy, lesbian, Medical, Mental Illness, Nurse, Sexuality, Suicide, Therapist, TV, video, Youtube comments (7)

This is a continuation of my last post called- What Do You Do When Someone Blogs About You? If you haven't read it, and the comments, please do so before reading further. You will not understand this post unless you read the last.
First of all I want to thank everyone that commented on my last post. Your suggestions, and remarks were kind, thoughtful, and thought provoking.
Secondly, I don't want you to think that the uncomplimentary blogger is a monster. When I knew her in real life, she was nice, sweet, and sensitive. Since then it seems that life has kicked her in the gut one to many times, and she has reacted to it. When I saw her online I was so thrilled to see my old friend that I tried to get close to her quickly. It was bad timing because she was dealing with some recent kicks in the gut, and wasn't ready to be friends with anyone. However, the way in which she treated and rejected me was hash, threatening, and undeserving.
I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Phil McGraw, but on Wednesday the 23rd he said some things that made sense to me. The segment was about Mormon, (LDS), boys that were kicked out of their homes. They were force to leave because they were seen as a threat to some of the older polygamist men. This is the same compound in Texas that has been on the news.
Dr. Phil was talking with these boys, and asked them if they wanted to go back home if give the chance. The boys said yes, but knew that they would be treated like outsiders. They knew that the door would be locked on them. Dr. Phil said that even though they were rejected, they could get closure just by making it known that they still wanted a relationship, and keeping the door of their hearts open, and forgiving. I saw the parallel. I was rejected by a former good friend, someone who I regarded as family. I now believe that I need to continue to leave the door open, forgive, and turn the other cheek. Maybe this can bring me closure. This person knows my e-mail address, and can get in touch with me if she wants. There is no need to overreact, and to stop blogging. I once wrote her in an e-mail that "it would be a shame if we could not find a way to be friends". I still believe that, but maybe this isn't the day for it. It's poor timing.

I'm just so doggone tired of this!
What do you do when someone blogs about you in a negative way, tells lies, and won't stop? I reached out my hand in friendship to a fellow blogger. Actually we knew each other years ago in real life, had a good relationship, and were very close. I don't want to be specific about the nature of the relationship. Anyway, when I saw her online and tired to befriend her, she didn't want to be friends. She said that she had severe mental problems, and couldn't handle being friends. Then she told me to go to hell, and not to contact her. It hurt. We do have history. I care about her. But what can you do? So I'm leaving her alone.
The thing is that she blogs about me every now and then. And she has done it again very recently. It is obviously about me. I recognize myself, although she never mentions me by name. She sometimes ends her posts with, "this is about me, not you". Or something similar. Oh really? Interesting she would end it that way. Don't you think so? Also... get this... she has a blog diary that is private. If she wants to get something off her chest, why not use her online locked diary? Why put this stuff in a blog that she knows I can read? Plus she is writing things that simply are not true. It's like she is allowed to talk to me or gossip about me, but I am not allowed to respond. She is taunting, and teasing me. Don't you think so?
I find it interesting that she is thinking about me so much. She continues to send messages to me though her blog, even after she told me to leave her alone. However, I have been silent, left her alone, and stopped e-mailing her long ago.
I have kept the lines of communication open on my end. (I'm to tender-hearted sometimes.) If she wants to say something about me then make it a 2 way communication so I can respond! What she is doing is not right, kind, or far!
Posted by Awake In Rochester at 3:17 AM
Labels: anxiety, Blogging, depression, Ex, Friends, Loss, Lovers, Mental Illness, Paranoid, Personal, Rochester, Sexuality, Therapist, Upstate NY comments (19)

I know that I have blogged on a few very heavy topics lately. Since I don't want to scare any of you away, or give you nightmares, I will soon have a second blog.
"Awake In Rochester" will be more for you. I won't get into a lot of heavy personal posts. It will have more humorous, fun, posts. Similar to what it has been, but better, and without the mega drama.
But since I need to get a few things off my chest, and it might be heavy. I will have a second blog. Therefore, blog #2 will be for me. More personal. Letting off some steam Trying to think things through. Kind of an old fashioned privet diary. My darker side. Therapy baby! I think I will have it open to the public, at least at first. So you will be able to take a peek, if your brave enough!
I have a new poll concerning it. Where do you think I should have my more personal, privet blog? You can cast your vote. If you want to elaborate, you can comment here.
I originally saw this on Dr. Deb's site. Thanks for posting it!
"What's The Difference?"
by Rannie Turnigan for the 20 x 2 Project.
Posted by Awake In Rochester at 2:34 AM
Labels: Family, fun, Gay, Gay Rights, lesbian, Love, Lovers, Sexuality, video, Wordless Wednesday, Youtube comments (0)