Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
This weekend I'll light a candle and say a prayer for the friends and family of Jeri Suzanne Horne (Liquid Illuzion). It's hard to believe that it's been two years since we lost her.
Rochester will soon break the record for the most snow in December. The record is 46.2 inches (1.17 meters). We are less than 2" away! I guess I'll soon be using a dog sled to get around. Mush!
Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a good night!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
I haven’t written much about my exes, but Libra was someone quite wonderful and remarkable. Libra was the love of my life. I’m sure that these 2 posts won’t do her justice, nor articulate how unique and charismatic she was, but I’ll give it a try. In the 1980’s I would meet Libra and have a 7 year relationship with her. This is the true story in a nutshell. To protect identities I have changed names, blurred dates, and omitted physical descriptions, etc. I wrote each small chapter as one paragraph in order to prevent this from being 3 parts. I also wrote this using two different computers so some chapters may appear different in font etc. I hope that you pay attention to the spirit of what I say rather than the form. This post is the first of two.
I was in my mid to late 20’s and still a virgin when I met this endearing woman. I had previously graduated from Bible college, and was in denial concerning my sexually. Libra was approximately 10 years my senior. She had several previous relationships with both men and women. She didn’t like labels such as gay, straight, or bi. Libra was easygoing, kind, gentle, confident, charming, attractive, feminine, and compassionate. She was smart with a good memory, and was well educated. She had a fun, effervescent, personality. Her hearty, feminine contagious laughter drew people to her.
We Were On the Same Page
Libra and I came from similar backgrounds and had similar views. We were highly compatible. We both liked easy-going, harmonious relationship, but disliked drama and arguing. We worked hard, but played easy preferring relaxing activities. I grew up an only child in the suburbs. Libra also grew up in the suburbs with only one sibling who was considerably older than her. She virtually grew up as an only child too. We were use to solitary, quiet, and space. We never asked each other to move in, nor did we need to explain to each other the need to have our own place to be alone. (To this day I have never had a roommate, except in college). We were both closeted at the time, so we were careful around each other's families. We had mutual admiration and respect. We were comfortable with each other and enjoyed each other's company. We were very best friends. Libra use to say that “sex was the icing on the cake and the cake was our relationship/friendship”. We had a great cake! As for the icing, that was great too. Libra said that she “never had an “O” before she met me". We both enjoyed a lot of good icing and “O”s.
What Does A Lesbian Couple Do?.
The same thing that heterosexual couples do. In the beginning we would occasionally stay at a nice hotel making love like rabbits. We went on vacations together. She introduced me to
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, neither were we, but it was very good. In the early months I was having moral conflict over being a Christian and sleeping with a woman. I would sometimes voice my opinion to Libra which made it difficult on us. Libra wasn’t perfect either. She was great at seeing both sides of a conflict and giving good impartial advice, unless she was one of the people in the conflict. Then she acted like she couldn’t see the other person’s point of view. She just wanted to win the argument. Libra had such a good memory that she would quote me verbatim during arguing which would secretly put me in awe of her. Fortunately for me, arguments were rare because she hated arguing as much as I did. Her biggest flaw was her trouble with commitment. She tried to warn me early on saying, “I have difficulty with commitment, however, I’ve had more fun with you than anyone else”. I thought that the fun factor would make me the acceptation to the rule. I thought wrong.
Time went by. We had now been together 4 years. Libra's restlessness and boredom had reached its peak. I watched our relationship slowly deteriorate, sad and frustrated that I couldn't do anything about it. Then one day Libra told me that she "ran into" her ex, Sally. I remember that Libra described Sally as "smart with a great body" Since Libra had a habit of going back to her exes I knew that she and Sally would soon sleep together, ending our relationship. I never expected to be in Libra's life for 3 more years.
Folks, I hope that you come back for the second post and conclusion of "Libra, Love of My Life." The next chapter title is "The Ring".
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Dear Magical Thanksgiving Wish Turkey,
My wish for the next Thanksgiving and holidays is to have a girlfriend. Not just any girlfriend, but one that is compatible and such. I want her because holidays are better with someone special.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Great news folks, my shrink has told me that I’m not clinically depressed! It’s been about one YEAR since my last episode of depression. Frankly, I think that I started going to him when I was getting better. I didn't want to go to him sooner because when I was depressed I had some dark thoughts that I wouldn't have wanted to share.
He has realized that I’ve gotten better primarily on my own and asked me what has made the difference. Besides all the good thoughts and prayer of good people like you, (thank you!), I believe that my diet in particular has placed a key roll in my recovery. I haven't taken any medication for depression.
For a long while I had to live off the food I got from food cupboard donations. Much of it was canned and boxed highly processed food with a very limited variety of canned vegetables. I rarely got any fresh fruit or vegetables. I’m grateful for what I got, however it wasn’t a very healthy diet. Now that I’m on food stamps, plus have had a health scare, I started to eat a much healthier diet. It's much more balanced nutritionally. I’m eating a diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables. I’ve also switched to healthy fats/oils like olive oil. I’ve been taking A-Z multiple vitamin and mineral tablets. I also read that serotonin is good for depression so I’ve been eating 1 oz of deluxe mixed nuts and a potato a day. Eating garlic may be helping as well. Although I'm not on the Mediterranean diet, my diet is similar. I'm sure that exercise like walking has helped me too, although I have not been consistent.
I’m aware that I’m not out of the woods. Depression is like having a severe injury that is prone to re-injury. In other words depression is a weakness that can return. I have to stay vigilant in my fight against it and do what I can to maintain the ground that I’ve gained. I’ve chosen to keep seeing a shrink, (believe it or not). I think that he has helped a bit, but honestly not nearly as much as I thought he should have. Due to a change in my health care insurance I will need to drop him and get a new shrink. Hopefully the new shrink will be more effective. Right now I’m just very happy that I’m no longer in depression!
By the way, eatting healthy has had other benifits. I have lost 47 pounds so far.
For more information on the link between diet and depression read...
For more information on the link between diet and depression read...
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I've been meaning to post something; I have just been so emotional that it's been difficult. Also so much has been going on medically for almost a year that it's difficult to put into words. I've written 3 drafts to a post and they are all a bit different. I just have to wait until my emotions settle down a bit and until I can put it into some proper words. But for now I just wanted to get back to you with the good news. My bone marrow biopsy/aspiration was negative! They didn't find any disease. I no longer have to see that specialist. I'll tell you more later once I get my head together. My sincere thanks goes out to each of you who has cared, prayed, set out good thoughts/vibes, and left a kind comment. It has met a great deal to me! It's been a very difficult year. I'll explain more soon.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Safe & Happy Halloween!
from Pumpky and Awake!
To view more of Rochester area foliage click here and here.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I’m so very, very, glad that I asked to be medicated for my bone marrow biopsy! What was supposed to be a 15 minute “exam” lasted an hour and fifteen minutes.
The physicians assistant (P.A.) was suppose to poke a huge needle into my hip bone taking a marrow sample, then chip off a sample of my bone. The problem was that my bone was “hard” and gave her a fight. She tried 2 or 3 times at the first sight. Then she had to pull the needle out, and stuck me at another site. It took another few tries before she got a sample. Ek! My poor, dear, hip bone was just doing what bones are supposed to do, be hard and protect. The poor baby.
The good news is that I probably don’t have osteoporosis. The bad news is that the procedure took five times as long. I’m so very glad I asked to be doped up, (sedative and pain meds). No way in hell would I have been able to go through all that without meds.
Folks, when it comes to exams, procedures, and operations, if there is any doubt in your mind, then play it safe! Go conservative. Do what you need to do to get through it.
By the way, having ready-to-eat food on hand for the next few days was a good idea. I was so doped up when I got home that I didn’t dare turn the stove on. A premade half a turkey sub, salad, and protein bar was perfect for the first night. The homemade beef stew loaded with healthy veggies was perfect for the next few nights.
Well, my poor hip bone and I survived the ordeal, but neither of us wants to do it again. A result of the exam is pending. (I can’t believe that they call it an exam, it was an in hospital operation as far as I’m concerned.)
You should have seen me. I asked my relative, (who drove me home), where my purse was. She replied, “On your shoulder”. Talk about doped up! I think that I staggered into my apartment. It would have made a funny video if taped.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I still don't have a computer and have to post at the library which is cramping my style. This was written a few days ago.
I've been very busy with medical stuff. The highlight of my weekend was hearing that Columbus Day is on Monday, and my doctor's office will be closed. Hallelujah! My counselor says that my life rotates around medical stuff now, and it's like a full time job. He's right! I've scheduled everything for the next few months hoping to finish before Christmas. I will have seen 4 different doctors and have various tests including THE TEST. Yes, they are finally testing me on Oct 21 to see if I have that horrible disease. Then I get the results early in November. The test is a bone marrow biopsy. It's evasive, and barbaric. They screw a large needle into the bone and extract some marrow. Honestly, what sadistic person conceived of this test? Sheesh! I asked them to knock me out for the test. (I'm a big baby!)
From my CAT Scan (Meow!) and extensive blood test they found a few other things that don't look perfect. That's why I'm seeing a boat load of doctors. So far, so good. The worst that they have found to date is a non-cancerous fibroid in my uterus that probably needs removing. (My OB-GYN is on my list of doctors to see.) Fibroids are very common in women and I have a history of them. So no big deal.
I figure it's all relative. I mean if they picked a 50ish woman out of a crowd at random and put her thought a battery of tests like I've had, they would probably find several small things wrong with her too. Hey, nobodies perfect! Right!?
Today's Columbus Day and I'll veg out and relax before I resume the medical marathon. I need a break.
I feel very good, and am eating healthy. I've lost a nice chunk of weight form proper eating. (I have more to go.) I don't have any pain. My doctor doesn't think that I have that horrible disease, (neither do I), but the bone marrow biopsy is the only way to know for sure. My white blood cell count has come down a bit, but is still high (Leukocytosis). I hope and pray to be done with all this medical crap before Christmas. I'd greatly appreciate your prayers and/or good thoughts!!!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Pass the sun block and iced tea please! Summer has snuck back into Rochester. The next several days will be in the mid 70's (24c) to mid 80's (29c). Ah, it's so nice! Then it's back to comfortable, moderate temperatures. It's such a delightful time of year.
I'm looking forward to the wide array of beautifully colored leafs this Autumn. I might take a stroll through Highland Park, and perhaps a picnic. It should be spectacular!
For local folks, remember that the Naples Grape Festival is this weekend. Try one of Linda's yummy grape pies (roadside stand). I won't be going because I lost a nice chunk of weight, and it would be too tempting. Enjoy!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Beautiful Sofia Vergara of Modern Family makes me long for a Latin lover. ;)
She is from Colombia, has brains (studied to be a dentist), and was Hilarius on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. click here for video.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Cinnamon sprinkles in coffee smells and tastes wonderful!
I'm doing well and feeling good. I'm eating healthy, and have lost a nice chunk of weight. I haven't had an episode of depression in about 8 months. This is a miracle considering that I'm out of work and have ongoing medical testing. I thank God that the depression has abated. I believe that It has something to do with healthy eating. Mmm veggies! My counselor is surprised that I'm doing so well. However, I don't think I'm out of the words yet. I’m working with my counselor to take small steps toward mental wellness. Physical tests are scheduled for the next few months. Your prayers and good thoughts are greatly appreciated. I hope they don't find any disease.
. I have a wonderful family. Sometimes I think that my aunt is an angel. She’s very caring and knows just what to say. I’ll be glad when Gray’s Anatomy returns on Sept. 23rd. It’s one of the few good T.V. shows on non cable T.V. It’s cathartic because I often cry as I relate to Meredith Gray. Televangelists seem stuck in the 50’s or 80’s at best. Their teaching techniques, songs, and sermons, are stuck in the past. They basically have two teaching styles, they preach from the pulpit, or a few people sit and chat. They could learn a lot from Dr. Wayne Dyer who uses a mixture of lecture, multi-media, modern songs, short stories, and short testimonies form guests, all with a modern flavor. Why can’t they recognize that they are losing the younger generation and upgrade? Does it bother anyone else that God killed so many people and so often in the Old Testament? I hate killing. Little wonder that I consider myself a New Testament gal. This
I have a wonderful family. Sometimes I think that my aunt is an angel. She’s very caring and knows just what to say..
I’ll be glad when Gray’s Anatomy returns on Sept. 23rd. It’s one of the few good T.V. shows on non cable T.V. It’s cathartic because I often cry as I relate to Meredith Gray.
Televangelists seem stuck in the 50’s or 80’s at best. Their teaching techniques, songs, and sermons, are stuck in the past. They basically have two teaching styles, they preach from the pulpit, or a few people sit and chat. They could learn a lot from Dr. Wayne Dyer who uses a mixture of lecture, multi-media, modern songs, short stories, and short testimonies form guests, all with a modern flavor. Why can’t they recognize that they are losing the younger generation and upgrade?
Does it bother anyone else that God killed so many people and so often in the Old Testament? I hate killing. Little wonder that I consider myself a New Testament gal.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I was not planing on using the library computer today, but something has happened and I wanted to make you aware. Around 12:50 I heard a boom. It sounded like an explosion. My neighbor said that her apartment shook. It took awhile for the news to trickle in. At first it was very sketchy. An explosion of some kind at the Rochester Airport. At lest one person was hurt.
It took about 2 very long hours for us to get any official word from County Executive Maggie Brooks and Airport Director David Damelio... "Two hydrogen tanks at Monroe County's alternative fuel station on Scottsville Road exploded and caught fire this afternoon, sending black smoke high in the air. The blasts were heard as far away as Pittsford."
"A 24-year-old male employee of Praxair drove an 18-wheel truck carrying a compressed-hydrogen tank to the station to replace another truck and tank."... "The mostly empty hydrogen tank exploded and caught fire about 12:50 p.m. Officials believe that there was some sort of arcing on the ground that spread the flames to the truck with the full tank, which also exploded. By the time of Brooks’ 2:45 p.m. briefing, the hydrogen had been burned off and the fire extinguished."
Two people were injured. The truck driver and a 20-year-old female employee of a nearby Burger King suffered ear pain. "Concourse B, the westernmost part of the airport terminal, was evacuated for about an hour." "Scottsville and Paul roads were among several streets that were closed during the firefighting effort."
The cause of the explosion is under investigation. "It is an accident," Damelio said. "We need to find out what caused it and what we can do to keep this from happening again in the future."
I was very relieved to hear that it was not terrorism and that no one was killed. It is a different time folks. It makes you think!
For more information- "Rochester airport explosion: Hydrogen tanks ignite" by Democrat and Chronicle.com
Monday, August 9, 2010
CAT Scan test results are in, and I'm pondering them. The good news is that I'm in no immediate danger. Nothing horrible appeared. The bad new is that they found one or two new things that may, or may not be serious. It's unknown at this time.
Nothing conclusive. No diagnoses. Not one definite answer to date. And they have not ruled out that horrible disease that I could have. It is very frustrating! I have to have more tests, and see 3 doctors now, starting on Thursday.
Are you tired of all this? I sure am! I hope that what I have is curable, or at lest highly manageable. I also hope that they get to the bottom of this soon. Good thoughts/prays are always appreciated.
What's New Pussycat by Tom Jones <-- Click on this
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Cell/Web Telephone is OFF - I didn't renew my Straight Talk phone this month. It updated itself and screwed itself up. At first I couldn't get Face Book, then Twitter. Now I'm using my free government Safe Link phone instead. Hm, I wonder if Pres. Obama is listening in on me? He would hear me calling my social worker an incompetent knucklehead. Because my not so smart phone is off, I won't be online as much. I'll post occasionally on the library computer, but have to use it primarily for job seeking. My counselor also wants me out and about more. Hey, it's summer! A great time for being outside. I'll still try to keep in touch. I don't want to lose you folks so don't forget me.
One Big Cucumber! - Does it look suspicious when a woman buys one big cucumber and nothing else at the supermarket? Um, just wondering. ;)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Robert Byrd, longest-serving U.S. senator entered the hospital and unfortunately expired. Senator Byrd was one of the very few brave souls who stood up against ceding war making powers to Pres. George W. Bush. Byrd was against the Iraq war from the beginning. That was a difficult stand then because the Bush administration spread propaganda equating the Iraq war with the war on terrorism. In the oppressive atmosphere of the time, if you opposed invading Iraq, then you were seen as unpatriotic. I’ve admired Senator Byrd ever since his courageous stand. We’ve lost a good man!
"The president is hoping to secure power under the Constitution that no president has ever claimed before, never," Byrd said. "The Bush administration wants (the) president to have the power to launch this nation into war — without provocation and without clear evidence of an imminent attack on the United States. And we're going to be foolish enough to give it to him."
Former Vice President Dick Cheney was also recently hospitalized. It is said that he was the mastermind behind the unnecessary war against Iraq which took tens of thousands of innocent lives. Cheney also advocated torturous methods for extracting information form prisoners. Somehow he got away with it. Cheney was treated and released from the hospital. Devils don’t die easily.
Note: The United Nations former Secretary-General Kofi Annan has stated that the US led invasion of Iraq was an illegal act that contravened the US charter.
The Title is used comparatively speaking. I realized that Senior Byrd had a checkered past, and did some things that he would later greatly regret and apologize for.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Did you feel that? The photos on the wall rocked back and forward clicking. Iced Tea in my glass swished back and forward. My apartment seemed to slightly shake. It lasted about 30 seconds to a minute.
Yes, it was an earthquake! "The U.S. Geological Service reports a 5.5 magnitude quake that originated in Ontario-Quebec border 12 miles below the surface at 1:45 p.m., but it was felt as far as Detroit, Cleveland, Rochester and Buffalo." Details are sketchy now, but local news 13WHAM confirms and adds that they have noticed many Twitter and Facebook comments from Rochester. Click on 13WHAM for more local updates. By the way, it was the 3rd earthquake I've felt in my life. All of them small.
A good news article from CBC News Toronto Canada. Just posted by my buddy maniar on Twitter. Thanks Jaffer!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Several Christians throughout the years have told me that they equate homosexuality to alcoholism. The message to me is that they believe that being a homosexual is sinful and addictive like alcoholism, a stand a bit less harsh then what is preached at some pulpits. It is met to be consoling, (believe it or not). I understand what they mean because I grew up in a “Full Gospel” conservative Christian church. However, in a way it is a backhanded slap in the face.
I do not believe that homosexuals or the act of homosexuality is sinful. I’m a
The Bible may be written in black and white, but it is difficult to interpret. The Bible is 66 books written by about 40 authors over a period of approximately 1500 years. It was written in a different time, county, language, and very different customs. Studying the Bible and being familiar with these differences are imperative to understand it.
Some people pick up the Bible and read it believing that they can understand it that way. However, proper interpretation is in the studying. In order to understand the Bible you have to go back to the original languages, customs, keep it in context, etc. I’ve written about this before (see links below) and don’t want to get into a discussion concerning dogma, like I did in other posts (see links below).
I just wanted to remind Christians of a few things when talking to homosexuals and others with whom you may not agree. 1) Be careful not to come across as being to harsh, or judgmental. This attitude can turn some from God and the Church. 2) Study the Bible with an open mind and heart, instead of only reading it. 3) Try to love, and accept the people for who they are. If you can't accept the person, then be honest with yourself and don't befriend them, or you may do more harm then good. Mt.18:6
For more on my views concerning homosexuality, and also tips on how to study the Bible visit the links below-
Monday, June 7, 2010
I just want to say a short farewell to my Ex. The one out of state.
We meet again at a time when we were both having significant difficulties. We both said things that we should not have. I apologize for my part. It's a shame that we couldn't find a way to some sort of friendship. We were able to be friends the first 2 times.
I will always fondly remember the sweet lady, and friend of those earlier days.
I notice that you are gone. You have had a difficult life. I'm glad to see that you're doing better. I sincerely wish you well.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Rochester Greek Festival will be held at 962 East Ave. near the Eastman House on June 3-6. On Thurs-Sat the times will be from 11am-11pm and on Sunday it will be from noon-11pm.
I don't know if I'll be dancing, but I'll eat some Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves with rice and veggies). MMM!
Monday, May 24, 2010
I’ve been catching myself humming lately, just unconsciously humming a nice tune. It happens often now. It’s a little thing, but something I don’t remember doing during times of depression. It’s another little sign of recovery to me, and a nice thing to have back in my life.
Click here for Hummingbird by Seals & Crofts (YouTube)
Monday, May 10, 2010
Depression is like a bully knocking you down to the ground for no reason at all. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to be knocked down. But it takes time to get up, and many, many, baby steps to learn how to walk again. I'm taking baby steps, and trying very hard with minimal results so far. But results will come with time. My buddy Meleah Rebeccah got it right with her series "Doing Things Differently". You have to change your bad habits and get new ones in order to change. Many of the changes are small, but will result in significant positive results over time. Small steps. I want to have a health, and normal life again. Small steps!
Good News! - It's been about 8 months since I've had an episode of depression! I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm working hard trying to keep depression at bay.
I've Changed My Eating Habits - About a year ago I was living on processed, starchy, high calorie, pantry food (donated). Since I got food-stamps, and a health scare, I've been eating good healthy food. Including lots of veggies, plus a daily vitamin. I'm trying to get healthy, or at least give my body what it needs to fight the disease that I have. (Whatever that is)
Walkies - I'm staring to go on short walks. Wow, am I out of shape! The walks are short now, but distance will increases in time.
Counseling - The guy is alright. I'm learning how to work with him. I've learned that he is unfocused, and tends to forget. So I need to stress what I need, and he comes up with helpful ideas.
Getting Out More - I'm getting out and about more. My counselor wants me to mingle with people more, and also do things that interest me. Admittedly, I have to work on this. More activity opportunities will come in summer. At least I'm getting out a little more.
May I Go Back To Work? - When I asked my counselor this question, he said that I wasn't ready. However, I think that if I got just the right type of job, he might change his mind. I'm going to work on this with him. I hope to go back to work soon. Otherwise, I'll have to get a lawyer and apply for disability with takes more than 6 months to kick in. Then the first 6 months are the lawyers fees. Ek! The system isn't set up to help people.
Why Are You Doing So Well Depression Wise? - My counselor asked this. I possibly could have a terrible disease, and my aunt died recently, but I'm doing good. I think that part of it is eating a much healthier diet, and taking vitamins. Also a part are YOUR prayers and good thoughts. Thanks a ton! Please keep sending them. Something is working. ~crossing fingers~
I Might Not Be On The Internet Quite As Much - As you can see, my plate is full. Right now I have to considerate on getting healthy, and that takes a lot of time, and work. I won't disappear, but you might not see me around quite as much.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
how beautiful he is to me
i wish i could stay out of his way
but thats much too hard for me
i wish we could fly away
on a paper airplane
he tells me everything
calls me his martin luther king
says he's good at running far
i tell him everything
call him by the wrong name
say i'm good at chasing stars
i wish we could fly away
on a paper airplane
i wish we could fly away
on a paper airplane
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
This it my first online photo using my new cell phone. Not to bad for a cheep cell! There are several of these lovely white trees blooming in my area. I will have more area photos soon.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
SRING IN "ROCHESTER? - The news said that the East coast is getting slammed by severe rainstorms and floods. Not in Rochester. Yes, we are getting a good rainstorm, but nothing out of the ordinary. Flooding in low lands. In fact it seems more like Spring here! We recently enjoyed 7 days of sunshine in a row with temps 48-61. More beautiful weather starts Tuesday. Yippee! If winter isn't over, then this is one heck of a nice respite! MYSTERIOUS DISEASE UPDATE - I have a copy of my CBC, and think I know what it means, thanks to the net. Not good, but no immediate danger expected. I will see the hematologist the first week in April. I expect him to comfirm it. More waiting. Maybe waiting is good because it helps me to come to terms with a bear of a disease. BORING - Sorry that my updates are so boring. I can't wait until the festivals start! They are always fun! I'll get out + about, and tell you some nice things instead of the same old crap. Thanks for sticking around and caring! I really appreciate you folks!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I'm posting this from my cell phone so.... (Imagine a photo here) ... What do you see? ... I see dancing monkeys in purple skirts. Hm, now why am I seeing that!? ;)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The hematologist who was suppose to call regarding interpreting my CBC hasn't called yet. It's been about 6 weeks since my CBC was taken. I informed my doctor, (Homer Simpson), Apparently I don't have a very rapid growing disease/infection, or I would be hospitalized by now. Sheesh! I still think it might be that bear of a disease. I've been reading about it. The treatments are painful, and barbaric. Apparently Dr. Josef Mengele, (nazi doctor notorious for his cruel experiments at Auschwitz), dreamed them up. I'm not going to see my shrink this week, I've rescheduled. I don't want to talk about all this latest crap with him, at lest not until I know what's wrong with me. However, part of me dosn't want to be diagnosed. If i have this disease it will change my life, and not in a pleasent way.
Friday, February 26, 2010
A snowstorm is not just a snowstorm. So far this winter has been mild, and almost snowstorm free. In general I'm glad for that, but there is something about a good old-fashioned snowstorm like we are having now. Living in Upstate, NY, I've seen them my whole life. Having one is a sign of normalcy, familiarity. It's the order of things around here. Snowstorms bring memories of childhood - sledding, angles in the snow, snow men, with hot cocoa and cookies after. I've been so preoccupied with the possibility of a looming disease that a snowstorm is a nice reminder of normalcy, and pleasant childhood days. So I look out the window and smile as the fluffy, clean, flakes, floating down. Then wrapped up in my warm flannel nightgown, I eat hot soup in my comfortable lazy-boy chair. Later I will have traditional hot cocoa. All is well. Normal. At lest for today. It's a temporary respite from my worried mind... Of course it dosn't hurt that I don't need to drive in this mess! ;)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Quick, choppy, update on cell instead of using library computer because need food etc before huge storm hits Thus-Sun. TV says maybe worst in 2 yrs! Only 2nd notable storm this season...UPDATE FROM LAST POST-Left message for docs boss (not typical of me), said it's been 3 weeks since odd CBC results, and I won't get interpretation of it for a mo. Ek! Next day my doc called on his day off! He had called a hematologist who will give me a free consultation. Finally! Guess my doc got chewed out by his boss! Now waiting for hematologist to call. Busy studding disease I think I have. I'm tring to prepare emotionally for worst news, and to have some good questions for him. Prayers/good thoughts greatly appreciated!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The "blizzard of 2010" gently brushed Rochester, NY. We got less than an inch of snow today in the city, (6" south of us). A dusting to 2" is expected tomorrow. Yawn! I don't know if I should feel lucky, or jealous? It's very strange to watch the local news, and hear about other cities getting slammed. This winter Washington, DC received more snow than Rochester! So far this is the only eastcoast storm that has reached us. They say that another storm is coming on Monday, but is expected to be mild here. So far it's been a nice winter in Rochester, but winter is far from over. Stay safe folks!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Most winters Rochester, NY gets slammed by snowstorms, but not this year. We only had one storm worth mentioning to date. All of the eastern snow storms have missed us. So today we smugly look upon the rest of the nation and say, "Now you know what we go through every freaken year!" Ah, but don't worry, a storm is brewing here for the middle of next week. Please stay safe folks, and drive carefully!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I love the 60's and early 70's. This is one of the greatest songs ever. I believe that Dionne Farris sings it. She is gorgeous and her singing sends me to another dimension.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
(Written on my cell. Hope it comes out ok.) Yesterday I called concerning my CBC results. The nurse said that one reading was high, and another was to low. She said that she did not know much about it, and couldn't interpret it. Of course I was worried. Today I talked with my doctor who said that my white cell blood count was still a bit high, but not as high. There was one or two possible abnormal cells, and he would have a specialist look at them. But when he called the lab, they had discared my blood. They do that after a certain amount of time. So I have to have the test done again. Boy, I hope if there are any abnormal cells that they show up again! My doctor will give me the results in three weeks when I have my apointment. UG! Does anyone have a valium?