Sunday, January 25, 2009

Can you say ..."I was gay?"

I was reading a blog the other day. I know for a fact that the blog owner considered herself to be gay for a good number of years. She was active in the gay community. She went to gay pride parades, and picnics. She slept with women. She was even engaged to a women, (it didn't last).

Now she has a blog, and pretends she is Ms. Straight. Ok, so maybe she had some revelation, and now thinks she is straight. What gets me is that in her blog she boasted about not being prejudice. She goes on, and on about it. Then she turns around, and calls a lesbian some horrible names. They were not gay related names, she is to smart for that. But some other off the wall names, characterising this nice lesbian as some kind of monster. Wow! Talk about gay bashing!

I wonder if she can say out loud to herself, "I was gay, I was gay, I was gay." Not in front of anyone, but just admitting it to herself. Otherwise she is throwing away a decade or so of her life, plus she's treating gay people like crap. Sorry lady, you are homophobic. You are prejudice! And yes, YOU WERE GAY!!!


LadyBanana said...

Maybe she has had something happen that has made her unable to deal with herself.. who knows...

Drowsey Monkey said...

I've known people who lived straight lives for 30 or 40 years, then "came out" so .... are they gay or straight? Does it work in reverse if you lived a gay life and now live a straight one, what does that really make you? lol ... I dunno!?

People are weird! LOL But either way, trashing someone just cause they're gay (or not) ... not cool.

Mike Golch said...

I do not and never will judge somone for their life styles.I have gay and straight frends.I believe that God does not make mistakes and we should except every one for the way they are.
homophobic is not cool.

Babs (Beetle) said...

Sometimes people can make a decision to live a straight life, while denying their true 'gay' feelings. This can make them attack the very thing they have denied themselves.

Years ago when 'gay bashing' was an everyday occurrence, you would often find that the 'bashers' were fighting off gay feelings of their own.

meleah rebeccah said...

People are crazy. I cant even try to figure them out anymore.

Awake In Rochester said...

I want to thank all of you who left comments so far. I don't want to say to much, and get work up over this. I've kind of said my peace already.

I don't really care that she went straight, (so to speak), that's her choice. What bothers me is her attitude towards gays. It's like she sees gays as the enemy.

Babs (Beetle) said... "you would often find that the 'bashers' were fighting off gay feelings of their own." Good point Babs! I think it might be a case of internalized Homophobia, at lest in part.

A. said...

Sexuality and attraction can be such weirdly fluid matters for some people. This fluidity, of course, can lead to all sorts of confusion. And confusion can sometimes manifest in offensive ways.


Lilly's Life said...

You know what they say when people protest too much!! Perhaps she is not as straight as she would like others to believe and that is sad. Sad that for some reason we cant be individuals and just be. Whatever it is and whoever we are. The world doesnt work like that. I try not to judge anyone. Those who cause other people pain are in pain. Those types I avoid rather than try to analyse them. We all have our own journeys to follow.

twofinches said...

You know who is the toughest on smokers? Ex-Smokers. Its a fact.

I'm not totally sure how this fits in with your exact post , but it never fails to fascinate me that those who change their lives are often repulsed by what they once embraced.

Food for thought at the very least

Amias said...

It's sort of like being a Christian, they are very judgmental, and it's hard for them to forgive others. Talk about a paradox!

That said, no matter what, one should be kind to others knowing that society might have dictated how she is behaving, because human beings like judge.

may said...

whatever the case, bashing is uncool. period.

twofinches said...

Ummm...lumping all Christians together as unforgiving is as bad as lumping all gays together as radicals or all blacks as rappers. I am an ardent follower of Jesus Christ, without apology. But forgiveness is a cornerstone of my survival and I have a great number of friends who feel the same way.

Just sayin'

Awake In Rochester said...

I don't feel that all Christians are judgmental, however, to many are. I remember visiting a church years ago. All the women were wearing skirts & dresses. I ware a nice pantsuit. When church was over the women gathered in a group, and looked me up and down whispering to each other. Not one of them bothered to say hello. I was looking for a church, but never returned to that one.

Unfortunately some gays have left the church due to nonacceptance, or even persecution from their church members. Take a good look at this blog...

The title of her most recent post is, "It's Official: I've Been Thrown Out of Church"

S'onnie said...

It is always sad when someone shows prejudice against another person.

I don't understand and I don't think I ever will understand why one person can treat another with such contempt.

I do note that those people who turn their back on some aspect of their life style whether it is their sexuality or some social activity such as drinking or smoking often become an avid supporter of their new beliefs to the point of putting others down for doing what they had once done.

As for no longer being Gay I don't believe that someone can turn their sexuality on and off like that. She may have turned to a straight life style but under it all she is still gay or bi-sexual and she will never be happy until she can admit that.

twofinches said...

I understand what you are saying Awake..and it grieves me that these kinds of snubbings take place. The church is not often a true reflection of Christ.

kimber p said...

my partner and I saw this "I'm so homophobic..." saying on a bumper sticker the other day in town. At first it confused us, because on her window was a Human Rights Campaign we thought she was just being ironic. Both my partner and I saw it differently, she took it as a joke and laughed and I got slightly offended at the bumper sticker. Who knows....but it was a good point in that we all see things individually. (great observation, right?) what is bashing to one is serving Christ to another..when all God wants us to do is LOVE. plain and simple. LOVE. is it really that hard a concept to grasp??

One of a Kind Wisconsin said...

The comment about judgmental Christians is incredibly judgmental and stereotypical- I KNOW a lot of liberals who shout down Christians and bash them. They take pride in being hateful and offensive- it very sad behavior because they don't realize how hate filled they are.

As far as this woman- let her deal with her changing identity as she will. I have had 3 different distinct sexual identities and once I have moved on the door to the past is closed for me. I am what I am now. What does her admitting she was gay have to do with anything... if she is not gay now- let her not be gay. It is unfortunate that she choose to bash gay people but sometimes people deal with these things by railing against them and angry. No two people think alike- nor is sexuality as blatant as gay, straight, and bisexual...

I really don't understand the comment that people can't turn their sexuality off and on. They can and do all the time. People go from straight to gay and gay to straight all the time and all modes in between.

UP until a couple years ago I despised eating peppers and onions cooked- about three years ago I ate a veggie pizza and I loved it- now I eat cooked peppers and onions all the time. You might say well you used to be a veggie lover but you didn't know it. Actually not- I used to come in contact with pizza and other foods and picked the crap off because I HATED it. Our tastes in food sex and whatever can change so much- especially over the decades.

For me I definitely don't have one foot back in any of my old closets. Right now I am very monogamous married to a man and because I am in love it grosses me out to think of being with someone else. I guess I could be shouting around the house I used to be a ...... and before that I was ...... but I am what I have been for many years and I am happy.

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi kimber p,


I agree that the saying might be interpreted in different ways. However, in this context I see it as internalized Homophobia, and hope that others see a similar meaning.

"but it was a good point in that we all see things individually. (great observation, right?) what is bashing to one is serving Christ to another." I agree that people can view thing differently, however that doesn't make there believe correct, much less Christian. People who bash gays by holding "God Hates Fags" signs are not serving Christ because that is not what Christ taught. And people who physically assault gays are not serving Christ, even though they may think they are.

As for the women I spoke of, she was not bashing anyone because she is a Christian. In fact I'm not sure if she is a Christian.

"when all God wants us to do is LOVE, plain and simple." God does put a great emphasis on love. My favorite chapter of the Bible if 1 Cor. 13 ...

" 1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing..."

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi Michelle (One of a Kind Wisconsin),

I loved your comment because you were really speaking your mind. I think it's the first time that I've heard you do that. I welcome varied opinions as long as they are kind, and respectful, etc.

I don't think that the comment concerning "judgmental Christians" was meant to be a blanket statement. It might have been a result of some crap she has personally experience. She has recently asked from prayers, so she is not anti-Christian.

"No two people think alike- nor is sexuality as blatant as gay, straight, and bisexual." I cringe a bit when I read on a blog "100% Lesbian" I think that if your 100% gay OR straight then you are in a minority.

You have said, "I have had 3 different distinct sexual identities and once I have moved on the door to the past is closed for me." Frankly, I have never heard anyone say that, and don't quite understand what you mean. I would love to read a post about that, so that I could understand better. If it's a fluid thing then why is the door to the past closed? Why couldn't you at some point go back to having the sexual identity that you once had? Would you consider that wrong?

Now you have me hungry for pizza! ;o)

Greeneyezz said...

It sounds like she's struggling internally with herself and expressing it outwardly. Hopefully she'll find some peace with herself.

And btw - Can I just say...I laughed out loud at the homophobic quote you posted. It cracked me up. :)

I hope all is well with you. I haven't blogged or been on anyone's site in like AGES!! Which I'm ok with cause I''ve gotten alot done otherwise! :)


Awake In Rochester said...


Howdy neighbor! It's good to see you again!

"It sounds like she's struggling internally with herself and expressing it outwardly." Yes, I think she might be.

I'm glad that you liked that quote, I found it funny too, and fitting.

I'm glad that you got a lot done, but don't forget to pop in now & then. I don't want to think that you got buried in snow. ;)

Giggle Pixie said...

I hope she'll drop the nasty remarks about other people who are gay. That is unnecessary and really just smacks of her immaturity. Hopefully in time she'll recognize that what she is doing is hurtful and wrong.