Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

Please pray for Liquid illuzion's family (Jeri Suzanne Horne)

This Christmas Eve will mark the first anniversary of the suicide of Liquid illuzion. Please say a prayer (or send good vibes) for her family and friends, especially her children. I'm sure that Christmas will never be the same for them.

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Frozen in Time by Awake in Rochester

Last Photograph

Last poem

Last words

Last post

Last phone call

Last Christmas cards sent

Last kiss

Last words to children

All frozen in time

Forever 42

Bits & pieces, scraps, I try to glean from you.

You thoughts on paper try to understand.

You photographs I beg for.

Why?

Why did you have to go?

I try to understand.

Your spirit occasionally I can connect.

But you can not speak words to me in present.

I think it's a crime.

Forever frozen in time.

"For we see now through a dim window obscurely, but then face to face..." 1 Cor. 13:12

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Can you write a blog post using a cell phone?

I'm thinking about getting a good cell phone, one with the web, (if God or Santa provides.) I would need to get a pre-paid one. My old computer might not be worth getting back on-line.

Can you write a blog post using a cell phone? Can you see that little screen well enough to read blog posts? I miss visiting my blog buddies on a regular basis, and hope to soon.

What kind of cell phone do you have, and would you recommend it?

Sarah Palin is coming to Rochester, NY this Saturday!

Guess who's coming to Rochester? It's pretty Palin! Yes! "Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will appear from 6 to 9 p.m. Nov. 21 at Borders Books and Music, 1000 Hylan Drive, Henrietta, according to her Facebook page. Palin, a 2008 vice presidential candidate, is promoting her book, Going Rogue, which will be released Tuesday."

From what I understand, you have to purchase her book ahead of time to get in. You might be searched too. I'm not sure. Listen to your local news for more information.

I don't have money to buy her book, or else I would be tempted. I hope that she becomes the presidential candidate for 2012 because she would loose, and the Democrats would have 4 more years. Te he! At any rate it gives me another chance to post pics of her pretty face. Darn! I wish I could see her in person.

Sinnerviewer's interesting conversation with gay bashers

"God hates fags". You've probably seen a hate group on T.V. carrying those signs. Well, my blog buddy Sinnerviewer had an interesting conversation with two gay bashers. She did a beautiful job! Pop on over to her blog and check out her post about the conversation!

A Conversation with the Lost

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Army psychiatrist goes on shooting rampage

An Army psychiatrist who was about to be deployed to Iraq allegedly armed himself with two guns and opened fire last Thursday on the grounds of Fort Hood, Texas the country's largest military base, killing 13 people and injuring 30 others.

The suspected gunman who was wounded is Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, 39 who worked at Ft. Hood hospital. The facility has an extensive program to help soldiers deal with stress of returning from war.

While military, and security agency's try to figure out why he did it. It only confirms my suspicions that...

COUNSELORS ARE NUTZ!

Please Pray! I've Been Rejected!

SSI-Denied! Medical insurance-Denied! Mental Health help-Denied! Financial help-Denied!

It was some of the worst news I've gotten in the mail. It was declined, not because I was not eligible, (God knows I am), but because I couldn't get to see the doctor that they wanted me to. I called before the appointment to reschedule, but they never returned my call. Also some paperwork that I sent in might have gotten lost. I called my social worker, and even wrote her, but she never got back to me. I think I've been assigned to another social worker.

One of my worst nightmares is that I would reach out for help, but not be able to get it. I hope this isn't my nightmare come true. It looks like I'm falling through the cracks in the system. I will try another social worker. But if I can't get in touch with her, I don't know what I'll do!

It is difficult to advocate for yourself when you are depressed, and don't even feel like getting out of bed sometimes. I've waited till the last moment to seek help. PLEASE pray (or send good thoughts) that I get the help that I need and SOON! I was starting to feel a bit better because I had some hope of being helped. A light at the end of the tunnel. Now that hope is fading.

What would you say to your doctor if...?

I'm finally reaching out for help with depression & anxiety. In a few days I will talk with my doctor about it. I suspect a hormone, or chemical imbalance of some kind. It's a free clinic and need to ask for specific tests. Unfortunately, I don't know much about depression & anxiety. What specific tests do you think I should ask for?

Wow! I really need to get educated on this stuff and fast. Do you know of any good books on the subject, especially depression? Right now it's the depression that I have to reduce in my life ASAP. It is kicking my butt.

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It's Heeere! Swine Flu is hitting Rochester, NY

Yes, H1N1 is here. It has recently started to spread. "Doctors are warning swine flu cases could peak in the next three to four weeks."

“We're in a bit of a quandary because the vaccine isn't large scale. Many high risk kids haven't been vaccinated before this hits,” said Dr. Neil Herendeen of Golisano Children's Hospital. “Most people are going to do well. They'll get through this with mild symptoms."

The increase was seen in hospitals as employee call-ins jumped. "Rochester’s largest hospitals are implementing policies that limit younger visitors access as a way to protect vulnerable populations from the H1N1 virus. Strong Memorial and Highland hospitals enacted similar restrictions today. At Strong, visitors 17 and younger are prohibited from the obstetric floor and from Golisano Children’s Hospital. Other area hospitals are following suit."

"Several local schools are reporting an increase of the number of students with flu-like symptoms, and local college campuses are also concerned about the spread of swine flu.Monroe Community College says its exposure to the swine flu virus has been minimal." "Some school districts, Pittsford, Penfield and Canandaigua have sent letters home to parents saying they've seen an increase in kids out with flu like symptoms. Rush-Henrietta says two of their schools have a 15 and 16 percent absentee rate. The rest are normal. Greece and Brockport schools report a normal absentee rate. The U of R has the highest number so far with 91 cases and seven students asked to stay in their rooms. At RIT, 14 cases and Nazareth has 25 cases to date."

Just a reminder that Monroe county is no longer counting flu cases, (at lest not publicly), so we won't know how many have the h1n1, or know of deaths in our area.


Related Topics..

Flu Hits Canandaigua Schools Hard, but remains open

Get Flu information from Flu.gov

New York suspends mandatory flu shots

Have a BOO-utiful Halloween!

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A Snapshot of H1N1 (Swine Flu) from WHO & CDC

The following information is based on finding from the World Health Organization (WHO) & Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and some other sources. Some of the information is new. It gives us a snapshot of H1N1 as we currently know it.

1) H1N1 has been labled "moderate" instead of mild by WHO because "WHO is concerned about current patterns of serious cases and deaths that are occurring primarily among young persons, including the previously healthy and those with pre-existing medical conditions or pregnancy."

2) "46 percent of 1,400 hospitalized adults did not have a chronic underlying condition."

3) It's more virulent then expected. "One quarter of Americans sick enough to be hospitalized with swine flu last spring wound up needing intensive care and 7 percent of them died." "What is striking and unusual is that children and teens accounted for nearly half of the hospitalized cases, including many who were previously healthy."

4) The hardest hit have been children & young adults. Almost half of those hospitalized for H1N1 are under 25.

5) More children have died now in the very beginning of this flu season as died during all of last yeas flu season (in the U.S.). "86 children (have died) since April (CDC). That's a startling number because in some past winters, the CDC has counted 40 or 50 child deaths for the entire flu season — and no one knows how long this swine flu outbreak will last.

6) CDC says that nearly 1 in 3 pregnant women hospitalized with H1N1 have died in the U.S. (28 out of 100 died).

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Folks this H1N1 pandemic is shaping up to have a bit of a bite to it. I hope that you will consider getting the flu shots that are offered this year. With the two flues and not many clinics that make vaccine, there could be a shortage especially since there is global demand. Please do not put it off until later. There might not be vaccine later.

Many who die of H1N1, dies of ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome). Of those who have ARDS 30% to 50% die. It is obviously very serous. I have added an article below about it. You might also want to take a look at the video. It is excellent.

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How H1N1 Can Kill by Dr. Jennifer Ashton (CBS)

"Federal officials said a vaccine to help prevent the new flu is expected to be ready by mid to late October. But still some people are wondering how you can actually die from the H1N1 virus.

CBS News medical correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton sat down with Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith and took a closer look at what happens to the body.

Germs are everywhere - in our homes, offices, and schools. While some are harmless, others can be deadly, like the H1N1 virus or swine flu.

It spreads when a carrier coughs or sneezes; another person touches the object or surface with the flu virus on it and then touches his own nose or mouth.

The virus is inhaled by the body and goes straight to the lungs. The virus attaches to the lung cells, infecting the body. Over the course of days, the blood vessels in the lungs or the air sacs are damaged. Fluid leaks from the blood vessels into the air sacs of the lungs. While some air sacs fill with fluid, others collapse altogether. When the air sacs collapse, the lungs can no longer inflate as they normally would with oxygen. The lungs become stiff.

Without air entering the lungs, the amount of oxygen in the blood drops. If diagnosed early, some patients will get extra oxygen supplied by a breathing machine; others may fall into a coma. Patients die from H1N1 because their lungs give out via lack of oxygen or drowned by fluids.

At this time, 50 percent of H1N1 deaths are due to viral pneumonia and half the fatalities have been in people with pre-existing medical conditions like obesity, diabetes, and pregnancy.

An animation was shown that demonstrated the affects of ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome).

"Is that flu or is that pneumonia?" Smith asked after viewing the animation.

"Well, what that described is a situation we referred to as ARDS where the lungs literally become like sponges and can't exchange oxygen. That can happen with the viral pneumonia, a bacterial pneumonia, but half of the deaths due to H1N1 have been due to this viral pneumonia leading to that kind of pulmonary failure," Ashton explained.

Last week, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported to Ashton that it has studied the autopsy results of the people who have succumbed to the H1N1 virus, and found that about half of the cases are in people who were either obese, had diabetes, or were pregnant and suppressed their immune system.

"So they were at a higher risk going into this virus, which, again, we have to emphasize in most cases have been mild, but they were at higher risk going into severe complications that then led to their death," she added.

According to Ashton, there's a "variable time course," where sometimes it happens over hours, days, or weeks. But Ashton stressed that once ARDS sets into the lungs and the patient is put on a ventilator, multiple organ systems then begin to fail and the mortality rate can be as high as 30 percent to 50 percent. "

Random Ramblings #7

I'm still using the Library computer - It's frustrating because I want to stay in close touch with everyone. I am timed so I often can not visit your blogs like I want to. :( I'm working on the problem, and hope to have my home computer running again. Thank you to those of you who are still visiting me even though I can't visit you as much now. I appreciate it!

Beautiful Summer - We had a beautiful summer in Rochester. It was the 5th coolest summer, and I loved it. We only hit 90 once! It was comfortable for the most part. I didn't even have to run my A/C.

Bees Galore - I've heard there is a shortage of bees, but not here in Western, NY. Due to the unusually cool summer we have had plenty of bees, hornets, and wasps. It's a problem for some home owners, but great for our farmers.

Opera - I've never been crazy about opera music in general. I was watching part of a crazy opera on T.V. The storyline was- ...The woman pretended to be a military man. The man posed as a women. They were cousins, and falling in love. To make things more confusing they were women in real life, and both sang soprano. ...I think my brain blew a fuse trying to process it all. I wonder if people like opera more for the totally insane plot rather then the music?

Roasting Vegetables - It's easy, and adds so much flavor! Heat the oven to 450 degrees F. Place the veggies in a large pan. Toss with the olive oil or (melted butter), salt, and pepper to mix and coat. Spread in a single layer in the pan. Roast for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are lightly browned and tender. Of course you can grill them outside too. Yummy!

Getting Help - I'm finally asking for help from Social Services. It scares me to death! Please pray that everything goes through, and that I can get $ help, and mental health help very soon. I'm not looking forward to the winter. The depression is bad now, and tends to get worse in winter, so I really need some help very soon. Please send your good thoughts and prayers. I've hit a snag.

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Two Specials on H1N1 (Swine Flu) Thursday Oct. 8

The Doctors are in. If you want to be more informed from doctors on H1N1, then turn your T.V. on Thursday Oct. 8th!

CDC's Dr. Richard Besser will be on ABC "Good Morning America" at 7:00 A.M. (EST), (channel 13 locally), and will answer questions concerning H1N1. Richard Besser, MD, served as Acting Director for the CDC and currently serves as director of the Coordinating Office for Terrorism Preparedness and Emergency Response (COTPER) at the CDC. He joined ABC News in September as a senior medical editor and correspondent.

That same evening at 9:00 P.M. (EST) on WXXI (channel 21 locally) is "Second Opinion: H1N1 Special Edition. an hour-long special. "This special edition features a panel of national experts along with a studio audience that had the chance to ask questions about H1N1 and seasonal flu. The panel also answered viewer questions supplied by other PBS stations." "Hosted by Dr. Peter Salgo of New York Presbyterian Hospital, Second Opinion: H1N1 Special Edition will offer clear, accurate and timely information on H1N1 symptoms, treatment, vaccines, public health policy and available resources."

photo credit here & here

CDC: 1 in 3 Pregnant Women Hospitalized with H1N1 (Swine Flu) Have Died

Historical one of the highest risks groups in a pandemic are pregnant women, and women who have recently given birth. Unfortunately this H1N1 pandemic is no exception. During a news briefing Thursday, U.S. health officials said the virus has hit pregnant women especially hard. Nearly 1 in 3 pregnant women hospitalized with H1N2 have died in the U. S.

Tom Skinner of the Centers for Disease control said that “Since the virus was first recognized in late April, early May, 100 pregnant women across the country have been hospitalized due to the novel H1N1 flu and 28 have died,”

There are two basic reasons for this. Pregnant woman have an immune system that is slow- it’s like their immune system is on standby – and it’s not as reactive as a non-pregnant person’s,” Dr. MannyAlvarez said. “And because of that, viruses, especially flu viruses of any sort can create a very severe infection.” The second challenge women face is as the baby grows inside the womb, the anatomy of a woman’s chest changes. “Their whole respiratory volume changes,” Alvarez said. “So if they get a secondary infection, such as pneumonia after the flu, it makes it very challenging and problematic for doctors to get airflow back into the lungs.”

“Just yesterday, a patient informed me that her son had the flu, so we immediately began administering antiviral medications, until the new vaccine becomes available.” Unlike other patients, pregnant women cannot get the nasal spray FluMist, Skinner said. “They must get the injectable vaccine, which will hopefully be available starting next week,” he added.

Folks, I hope that you will all get vaccinated, especially pregnant women. Historically the first wave of a pandemic is mild. It's the second wave that starts to show some teeth. We are only in the very beginning of the second wave so we are not sure how bad this flu can get.

Fox News- CDC: Nearly 1 in 3 Pregnant Women Who've Contracted H1N1 Have Died in U.S.

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2 Students Die of H1N1. One at Cornell University (Rochester)

Swine flu is spreading like wild fire in the U.S.. Thousands of students have H1N1. Some schools in the U.S. have only been in session about 3 weeks. In Rochester the children have just gone back, yet we already have one death in Rochester at Cornell University.

Some of the hardest hit areas are Washington State University with more than 2,ooo students who have reported flu like symptoms. The University of Maryland has 435 cases to date. Cornell University in Rochester N.Y. has reported more than 520 cases and one death. A freshman at Troy University in Alabama died a week earlier. Current totals are over six thousand students that have H1N1. Click here for a current report by the American College Health Association.

The Cornell student was 20 year old Warren J. Schor who died on Sept. 11 at Cayuga Medical Center. There are conflicting reports. Some say that he an underlying medical issue, others say that he was perfectly healthy.

At Troy University 18 year old Andrew Salter of Valley, Alabama died.The family confirmed that he had no underlying medical issues. Ironically he decided to major in nursing. He is the 4th person in Alabama to die from Swine flu to date.


You can read more...

The Washington Post: Colleges Seeing Lots of Early Flu

The Daily Collegian: Cornell flu death opens eyes

WSFA 12 News: Swine Flu claims Troy student's life

American College Health Association

Happy Suicide Awareness Day! Yippee! (Sept. 10)

I'm aware of suicide. I think about it all the time. Ha, ha. Er, if you want to read a GOOD post on Suicide Awareness Day then visit Dr. Deb. Meanwhile, I'll head to the semi-dark/sick humor side. If it scares you then...BOO!...don't read it. ...Wimp!

True Story - An old man's family wanted to put him away in a nursing home, so the guy built a "death machine" that repeatedly fired a 22 caliber gun at him. I guess it was his final F/U to his family. I don't condone what he did but at lest he was creative, original, and good with his hands. Hm, maybe he can fix my toaster? Oops, to late!

Thought - IF depression is a disease, and suicide is a part of depression; does that mean that those who die from suicide die from a disease?

10 Waring Signs of Suicide

1) You tied your tie, and it ends up looking like a noose.

2) When you hear the word "suicide" you turn and reply "Yes" as if your name was called.

3) You have 4 library books about suicide at home (Yeah!)

4) You click your heals three times repeating, "Please God take me home". (Amen!)

5) Your favorite "South Park" character is Kenny. "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" "Those bastards!"

6) You have scars on your wrists, and tell people that your writs were run over by a bicycle.

7) Last week you became deliriously happy while planing your suicide and gave all your possessions to charity.

8) You had sex with your husband for the first time in 8 months. It was a "goodbye fuck".

9) During your depression group you take a poll asking for the top 3 ways they would "off themselves."

10) When a burglar robs your bank, you stick your finger in the barrel of his gun and say, "Make my day!"


Thought - I once related to those grieving for someone who committed suicide. Now I relate to the people who committed suicide.


True Story - Kevin Hines jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and lived. He said that he wouldn't have jumped if ONE person had bothered to say "hello" to him. After recovering from a broken back, and months of rehab, Kevin now talks with those who are suicidal.

Poem - Its all gone up in smoke. My life's become a big joke. People no longer see me, just depression city. Sick of worrying, crying, and the weight. The sight of me I really do hate. Wish it would be over soon. Maybe it will be before noon.

HEY, if you can relate to this post, (especially the last part), then you are a sick puppy and in need of help. Make an appointment with a local counselor, or if you need help yesterday call 1-800-273-TALK(8255). You might be aware that I'm not crazy for shrinks, (except maybe for Dr. Deb), but do as I say not as I do, and you'll be alright. Get help if you need it!

SONG - Never Too Late by Three Days Grace (YouTube)


Note: This blog owner will self destruct in three days! Ha, ha, just joking! This blog owner admits to watching to many sick South Park programs.

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I missed my appointment with Super Shrink

When my social worker made the appointment, she told me to be sure to show up. Unfortunately, I had very little gas and only $3. I knew that parking might cost more then that. I tried to bum a ride, but no luck. UG! I called to reschedule, but Super Shrink's secretary wasn't available, so I left a message. I never heard back.

Maybe it's just as well. I'm scared to see Super Shrink. This is no ordinary shrink. He (don't know the gender) has extraordinary powers! This person can test me, and label me disabled due to mental problems, (by the power vested in him by the State of New York. AMEN!). Well, I probably am, but I don't necessarily want that on my permanent record, (wherever they keep them.) I mean, I really could use the money form SSI, but at what cost? To have the stigma of being labeled mentally ill on my permanent record? (I think "Fruit loops" is the technical term).

Super Shrink represents the State of N.Y., therefore has Super powers. This Shrink probably has the power to lock me up in R-wing faster then a speeding bullet. I don't think I'm Fruit loops enough to be locked up, but what if he is an overzealous type? Then I could end up in a nightmare. What if he gets a free decoder ring with every 500 people he puts away? IF I see Super Shrink I'm going to ease up on my answers a bit, especially in a certain area. If he asks, "on a scale from 1 to 10 what are you"? If I'm an 8, then I will probably tone it down to a 6. I don't want this dude to get a decoder ring at my expense! NOPE!


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Song - Last Resort by Papa Roach

I find an odd comfort in relating with those who understand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3soskkvYBgM

WHO Warns Of Severe Form Of Swine Flu (H1N1)

The following is from the New York Times. Here is the first part -

"Doctors are reporting a severe form of swine flu that goes straight to the lungs, causing severe illness in otherwise healthy young people and requiring expensive hospital treatment, the World Health Organization said Friday.

Some countries are reporting that as many as 15 percent of patients hospitalized with the new H1N1 pandemic virus need intensive care, further straining already overburdened healthcare systems, WHO said in an update on the pandemic.

"During the winter season in the southern hemisphere, several countries have viewed the need for intensive care as the greatest burden on health services," it said.

"Preparedness measures need to anticipate this increased demand on intensive care units, which could be overwhelmed by a sudden surge in the number of severe cases."

Earlier, WHO reported that H1N1 had reached epidemic levels in Japan, signalling an early start to what may be a long influenza season this year, and that it was also worsening in tropical regions.

"Perhaps most significantly, clinicians from around the world are reporting a very severe form of disease, also in young and otherwise healthy people, which is rarely seen during seasonal influenza infections," WHO said.

"In these patients, the virus directly infects the lung, causing severe respiratory failure. Saving these lives depends on highly specialized and demanding care in intensive care units, usually with long and costly stays."

MINORITIES AT RISK

Minority groups and indigenous populations may also have a higher risk of being severely ill with H1N1.

"In some studies, the risk in these groups is four to five times higher than in the general population," WHO said.

"Although the reasons are not fully understood, possible explanations include lower standards of living and poor overall health status, including a high prevalence of conditions such as asthma, diabetes and hypertension.""

Click here to read the rest of this article.

WHO article "Preparing for the second wave: lessons from current outbreaks"

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I'm a Private Person! Please Don't Share!

As you may notice, I don't post a description of myself, my name, or photo. I have shared information with very few people on the net with their word that they would not pass it on. This is a reminder that if I have shared personal information with you, that I expect you to honer your word and to keep my privacy intact! I have been stalked before, and don't want a repeat.

Personal Update - Depression is Worse

I've spared you. ;) I've written half a dozen post drafts pertaining to depression, and suicide. I knew that I couldn't post them because I would lose some of my readers, but I have a lot on my mind and heart these days. I just want to share a little of it with you.

I wrote a very frank letter to Liquid Illuzion. For those of you who didn't know her, she was a loving, talented, caring person, who was bi-polar, and sadly took her life. I miss her. I wrote the letter because I thought she was one of the few people who could understand where I'm at. I probably won't post the letter because it is brutally honest, and might be hurtful to her friends and family. However, the process of writing the letter was positive for me. I cried like a baby and got a lot out that I haven't been able to express to anyone else. (Funny, I thought I was all cried out.) I really feel that she's been with me lately.

So how am I? The depression has been noticeably worse in recent months, and certain unhealthy thought come to my mind to often. This isn't good for several reasons bedsides the obvious. 1) I often am unaware that I'm in depression because it has become my norm. So when I'm aware of it, that means I've entered into a deeper stage of depression. 2) Usually in summer the depression decreases. Winter is my most difficult season because I have winter depression on top of the regular depression. That makes me wonder if I'll make it thought this winter, if things continue.

Life if now a constant struggle. It's exhausting! Life is one huge unsolvable problem. I feel so hurt, like I'm bleeding inside. I feel like a burden to those who have tried to help me. Frankly, I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm no good for anyone, especially myself. The person that I've become is someone that I don't recognize anymore. Well, that's just a small fraction of the stuff that I've wanted to post, but you get the picture.

I went to the Health Department for food stamps, and such. I mentioned the depression, and they are sending me to a shrink for evaluation. This ought to be interesting. As you know, I don't have much faith in shrinks because I knew two crazy counselors. I figure that If those counselors with all their knowledge can't help themselves, than how can any counselor help me? Who knows? This might just be a quick evaluation to satisfy the health department and that's all. So I'll jump though their hoop. I'll give you an update if it's worth mentioning.

Related Posts: This Isn't Me and, I can't do this anymore...

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Wordless Wednesday - Liquid

Wish I could talk with you. I think you would understand. Not many can. (I'm referring to depression & suicide issues)


Photo of Liquid Illuzion, photo credit - Writing in Faith (Sandy Carlson)

Friday Funnies - 10 Reasons Why Women Should Date Women (lesbian)

10) You have someone who can talk about things other than sex and sports.

9) Limited smells of beer & burps that come out the wrong end.

8) Lots of foreplay! ;)

7) You get cards or flowers on days other then your birthday or Valentines Day.

6) No need to watch ball games on T.V.

5) You can act out the twelve days of Christmas using the animals you both have.

4) Your chances of having good sex are good since she has been practicing on herself for many years, & you have the same anatomy.

3) There is actually someone who will share the housework with you.

2) No need to explain "Venus" ways to another Venus.

1) You always have a friend to go to the Lilith Fair, or shop with.

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Random Ramblings #6

Health Wise

I'm almost over the virus that I had. My sprain is getting better, but taking so darn long. I'm officially out of work. This has caused financial, and depression problems to worsen. I wrote a few blog post drafts concerning the depression, but glad I never posted them. They even scared me. I'm not happy to be alive right now. They say that it is always darkest before the dawn. Well, I hope so, because it's very dark now.

He Was Slapping Her

My asshole of a neighbor had knocked his girlfriend down and was standing over her slapping her. This happened in the hall. I immediately called the police. They arrived in two minutes. By the time the cops arrived they were in her apartment, and questioned them. I could hear the conversation. The dispute was over money, (I think for drugs). My favorite neighbor, and I agreed to call the cops right away if Mr. asshole starts in again. We don't want him getting away with it. (Sorry if my language offends you, but I can't think of a better word for him at this time.)

Rochester Weather - Tornados & Cool

Two tornado's hit the Western N.Y. area not far from Rochester on July 25th. They caused quite a bit of damage in Corfu in Genessee county, and a little in Hilton in Monroe county where they hit. Hundreds of customers lost electricity in those areas. The Darien-Corfu tornado had moderate damage to several buildings and trees and winds ranging from 86-110mph. The path was four miles long and 100 yards wide. The tornado in Hilton caused less damage. It's big news around here since our last tornado in Monroe county (my county) was in 1981.

I've been enjoying wonderfully cool weather lately! We have only had 4 days over 80 degrees (26.6 C) and none in the 90's (32-37 C). We just might break the record for the coldest July in history (since 1871) for Rochester. I just love it! Yes, we have more rain then usual, but it's no big deal. Not much flooding at all.

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My E.R. Visit

I was injured. No big deal, and the details are boring. Because I don’t have insurance I had to go to E.R. to have ex-rays just to make sure that my bone wasn’t broken. Good news – I don’t have a broken bone! It is just sprain. It is healing nicely, but taking time. I will be 100% again. However, I now have flu symptoms. EK! I hope it’s not H1N1 swine flu. The symptoms are mild so I doubt it’s swine flu, but I might have to be tested. I’m trying to reach the free clinic.

If it is H1N1 I might have to take Tamiflu which might not work because you have to take it soon after first sign of symptoms. My first symptoms were Friday, and my free clinic was closed over the weekend and today. So that is 3 days so far. Darn! I hope it’s just a regular bug. If it is swine flu I will have to stay home 7 days as recommended. I’m not having fun right now.

Well, this all shows the need for universal healthcare, and personal healthcare. I applied for Medicare, or is it Medicaid. I get them mixed up. I'm glad that normally I'm in very good health, and can't wait to get back to my normal state. Although I'm not doing that bad now. Hopefully these are just a few minor glitches.

By the way, George Clooney says "Hi". ;)

UPDATE: Hi All,
Thanks for the good wishes! It's not H1N1, but just a bug. My bone will take longer to heal then I thought. I'm out of work for several weeks. (And my agency called recently.) Crap!

EK! Blog buddy Health Psych has H1N1 Swine Flu!

Unfortunately it is official. My blog buddy Health Psych who at PsychoBabble blog has H1N1 (Swine Flu).

She has been in bed for 12 out of 14 days so far. She says that she has a "raging temperature, muscle aches, headache etc etc" ...The "flu might be milder than expected but it's knocking me around quite a bit."

Please show your support by clicking here and leaving her a message. Please say a prayer (or send good vibes) that she recovers soon.

In my county of Monroe, they have decided not to give us anymore information since they declared it an epidemic here. (No thanks to county executive Maggie Brooks.) We do not know if it is still considered an epidemic. If they still regard it as mild. How many people have been ill, or if anyone has died. It is like a media blackout and I don't like it one bit! I would rather know!

Police Call is Resolved. How Depressed Am I?

Thank God! A family member paid my debt. He didn't tell me until days later. I guess he wanted to make sure that I applied at Social Services for assistance. I don't like getting a hand out from the government, (it will take 45 days before I receive anything).

So while I was terrified thinking that the cops might bust down my door because of a bounced check, (see previous post) I was trying to locate my carotid artery, and sharpening my knives. Gee, just how depressed am I!?

I keep forgetting how depressed I am until something happens to reveal it. Then I realize that I'm standing on top of a cliff with my toes hanging over the edge.

Why don't I see how depressed I am? Because it has become my normal state. I've been like this for so long that I don't even realize the degree of depression that I'm in.

This police incident just reminded me of how depressed I am. It's become a vicious cycle - depression & anxiety from the deaths of several family members --> less work --> less money & increased debt --> feelings of guilt, failure, self-hatred --> deeper depression & deeper anxiety.

The cycle goes on and on. I slowly sink deeper, and deeper without even realizing it. It's become a way of life until one day I realize that I'm standing on top of a cliff with my toes hanging over the edge. I just don't see it most of the time. I'm under the illusion that I'm coping well enough.

Note: Hyperbole was used in this post and not meant to be interpreted literally.

Related Post - The Police Called

The Police Called

A police officer left a phone message for me. He said that he was at company ABZ (not real name) and about to fill out a complaint on me because a check that I wrote a year go for $240 that had bounced. He said that if I didn't pay the money that I would be arrested.

What a shock! At first I thought that it was a bad joke so I called 911, but I found out it was legitimate. The officer was off duty when I called.

Can they do that? Can they arrest someone for a bounced check? And if they did arrest me would my career as a Nursing Assistant be over? They do good background checks on Nursing Assistants. I might never be able to get another job.

I called ABZ company and talked with the owner, but didn't get anywhere. I started to panic so I called my cousin. He also called the company, but the owner wouldn't budge.

The next day I couldn't stop crying. I kept looking at the door every few minutes wondering when the police would come. I don't have $240 or I would pay it. I have about $5, and I'm virtually out of a job. I felt like a sitting duck wondering when the police would come arrest me, so I left my apartment for most of the day. My neighbor told me that no one came to the door while I was gone.

The depression & anxiety that was starting to diminished is back in full force now. I've been crying my eyes out, and terrified. I'm not sleeping. I no longer feel safe in my home. I hate myself for being in such a mess. It's always something. I'm just so sick of it. So sick of struggling. Life has become such a struggle socially, and financially that I sometimes just want it to end. I just hate myself.

I'm going to go to Social Services to see if I can get financial help, but I doubt it. I was just there several months ago. I called my agency, but they still don't have work. My cousin says that he will talk to the police officers, but what good will that do? It's nice of him to want to do that, but I don't think that it will make a difference.

So I sit in my apartment crying and wondering if/when I'll hear a knock at the door from the police and be arrested. I'm scared to death! God, how I hate myself. Sometimes I really don't want to be here.

Fire ALL The New York State Senators!

Question - Who's in Charge of the New York State Senate?

Answer - The Stooges! Knuckleheads! Moe, Larry, and Curly.

Here is what has happened in a nutshell... Democrat Senators were in control until a coup two weeks ago. Two Democrat senators Pedro Espada Jr. and Monserrate switched to the Republican side. Reporters say independent upstate businessman Tom Golisano played a role in their coup. (At least he's leaving N.Y. State soon.) There was rumor of a physical altercation (fist fight?).

Democrats refused to acknowledge the Republican coup, and stopped going to the Senate meetings. The whole thing got kicked up to the courts.

The court decision was something like, ...Hey, knuckleheads, get your act together. YOU senators need to decide who is in charge. ..Around this time one of the Democrat defectors came back to the Demarcate side making it dead even.

This all happened on June 8th. It's been about two weeks since the coup, and basically the Senate has been shut down. Knuckleheads!

Gov. Paterson (Dem) stepped in and said that he will make the Knuckleheads show up even if he has to get the guards involved. One reporter noted that the Governor can make the senators show up , but can't make them vote. Yesterday senators showed up, but it was a two ring circus. "Parallel dueling" sessions were held with several senators talking at the same time.

The knuckleheads are more then an embarrassment to New York state and the U.S. They are selfish, greedy, and power hungry. You would think that after 9-11, The attack on America, that the government would grow up and come together for the sake of the country, but... NO! You would thing that during the greatest recession since the great depression that they would stop being so selfish, but ... NO! You would think that during a flu pandemic that may lead us into a depression. A flu that could mutate into something very deadly, that that they would stop being so selfish, but ... NO! The Senate as a whole is acting like The Three Stooges! Someone please clunk their heads together!!!

The British would never put up with this crap! Prime Minister Tony Blair had to leave office early because he lost favor in the eyes of the Brits. In Britain they realize that the government works for the people, and not the other way around. For some reason we in the U.S don't understand this basic concept and allow way too much crap.

My solution - FIRE ALL THE KNUCKLEHEADS (SENATORS)! Make them run for the senate again with a two week campaign, giving them and their opponents the same money to run on. Why not!? It's not like the N.Y. Senate will get anything done during that time period. Hopefully the people will figure out who the worst offenders are and vote them out. That way we will have a New York Senate that is a bit more for the people, and less like the Three Stooges.

To Contact Gov. David Paterson of N.Y. State CLICK HERE


Read about the Stooges, Um N.Y. State Senators ...

CBS - In New York, Senate "Coup" Takes Down Dems

Capital News 9 -

New York Times - Dueling Sessions Cast Doubt on Any Action by State Senate

Syracuse.com - Fate of same-sex marriage bill in NY State could come down to the vote of one man, Bronx Democrat Ruben Diaz.

NOTE: The Three Stooges were an American vaudeville and comedy act of the early to mid–20th century. They were named "Larry, Moe, and Curly" (Shemp replaced Curly later.) They often used slapstick, name calling, and physical comedy like poking each other in the eye. Moe often clunked the other two heads together calling them "Knuckleheads." They often fought each other, and portrayed themselves as stupid buffoons.

Random Ramblings #5 - Plus Rochester & Syracuse h1n1 Flu Update

Loving Spring! - Wow! We have spring in Rochester! It's my favorite season, but sometimes we go from winter to summer. It's warming up a bit, but no real hot weather, and that suites me fine. Sure we get rain, but like I say... better rain then snow.

Here Chippieee! - My neighbor is at it again! She is feeding, and calling the darn chipmunks. She opens her window, calls to them, and then closes her window. Five minutes later she is doing the same thing. Then fine minute later. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. She is driving me crazy! Well, she is my favorite neighbor, and we watch out for each other, so I'm biting my tongue.

"Experience Not Required" - I was reading in the help wanted section and found an ad that said, Nursing Assistants Wanted "experience not required." I have NEVER seen that before in reference to an Aide. A Nurse - yes, an Aide - NEVER. We have to many Aides in Rochester so the employers get to pick. I guess that facility is getting ready for the h1n1 flu. Doors should open up to me soon.

Rochester & Syracuse New York Swine Flu Update - Bravo to WHEC Chanel 10 TV for having good coverage of this! They are the ONLY local station who informed us. It seems that the government told reporters not to say much, so we will not panic. But I worry more when I don't hear. Summarized it says that school # 12 might have a few h1n1 cases, but they are not sure. The health department is no longer notifying schools of confirmed cases. (BOO!) Dr. Ed Walsh, the head of infectious disease at Rochester General Hospital said that "his lab has handled more than 200 flu samples recently and most have tested positive for the H1N1 strain. Officially, the health department confirms only 18 cases in Monroe County. "

Syracuse N.Y. is about 85 miles from Rochester. Some disturbing stats are coming out of Syracuse concerning h1n1. They have 70 confirmed cases with 2 deaths. (About 2 deaths per thousand is expected of mild pandemic.) Nine have required hospitalization. That's about 1 out of 7 people! EK! I hope that they don't end up like New York City. and I hope that Rochester doesn't either. Of the 27 swine flu deaths in the U.S. 15 have been from N.Y. City with 820 confirmed cases. More then 500 people have been hospitalized. Thousands of people have reported flu-like symptoms. Nearly 60 schools have been closed. The city has "spent more than $10 million dealing with swine flu and estimated long-term costs rising to $100 million".
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UPDATE: Monroe County has issued a health alert for the greater Rochester area for the Swine Flu. Basicly it says - Dr. Andrew Doniger County Health Director says "the local influenza outbreak has reached epidemic proportions and it's putting a strain on doctors' offices, emergency rooms and urgent care centers"... "People who have serious underlying chronic health problems could end up in the hospital and have severe complications from the flu."

School absenteeism rates rose to twice the level expected.

..."he is raising the alert level and people should expect to see changes in the way they get health care. In short, if you don't have a serious case of the flu, you may not get into see your doctor right away. That's because they're now prioritizing doctor visits to treat only the most vulnerable flu patients..."

Wordless Wednesday - h1n1 information & preparation

Sites on h1n1 - Swine flu information and preparation

pandemicflu.gov

ready.gov by Homeland Security (U.S.)

CDC - Center for Disease Control and Prevention

WHO - World Health Organization

hhs.gov - United States Department of Health and Human Services

FluTracker H1N1 Map

How To Prepare for h1n1 (Swine Flu) - Soon Moderate Pandemic

When WHO World Health Organization declares the h1n1 flu to be a pandemic (and they will) it will come with a “Moderate” severity warning according to keiji Fukuda WHO interim assistant director – general for health security and environment. “It is fair to call the situation moderate. We know this infection can be fatal in a number of individuals. This includes people who have some underlying medical conditions and it includes women who are pregnant – but it also includes people who are perfectly healthy. So we do have some hesitation calling such an infection mild” said Fukuda. (Source WebMD – “WHO: World Closer to Swine Flu Pandemic”) Like many I had hoped that the severity would remain mild, but it doesn’t look like that will happen.

According to the article “The WHO has been dragging its feet over declaring a worldwide pandemic to avoid causing undue alarm and to allow it time to develop specific guidance for different parts of the world.”

I’ve been reading the book, “The Great Influenza”, by John M. Barry. This is the same book that Pres. Obama is reading, and recommended by infection disease expert Dr. Michael Osterholm. Mr. Barry gives a warning in the last chapter called “Afterword.” He says that a MILD pandemic would be more deadly today then the one in 1968 due to several reasons. 1) More people today have impaired immune systems like the “elderly, cancer survivors who have undergone chemotherapy or radiation, transplant recipients, those infected with HIV, and others.” Recently Dr. Richard Daines, NYS Health Commissioner, said that some underline medical conditions are “lung disease, asthma, obesity, diabetes, and pregnancy.” Mr. Barry noted that in past pandemics those “most likely to die were pregnant women.” 2) Barry goes on “…even in advanced countries a Pandemic would stretch the health care system to the point of collapse, and beyond it.” This is due to cutting cost and fewer hospital beds then during the 1968 pandemic. In hospitals there will be a shortage of life saving respirators due to the number of ill.

Mr. Barry, and Dr. Osterholm, and others have warned of trade being disrupted during a pandemic today. They warn that medical supplies like antibiotics, hypodermic needles, and hospital masks could run out. Even food supplies and chlorine (that purifies our water) might be interrupted. Services like electricity, and garbage disposal could be interrupted, partly due to a high number of absent workers due to illness. A pandemic will also be a blow to our economy.

In the past Dr Osterholm has recommended that we stockpile 4 to 5 weeks of necessary supplies to better prepare ourselves. I believe that we are not being told to save supplies today because it might cause panic. The following is a checklist of general supplies…

*Bottled Water

*Nonperishable Foods

*Prescription Medication & Vitamins

*Flashlight & batteries

*Portable Radio

*Paper Products – tissues & toilet paper

*Baby Products – formula, diapers

*Extra Cash on hand

*A “Family Plan” (to stay home during a flu outbreak if necessary)

*I would add a means to heat your house because of possible electrical interruptions.

click here for more ideas

The scenario Mr. Barry writes is one of a mild pandemic, however, this fall we will be hit with a moderately sever pandemic which will amplify these problems. A pandemic usually lasts 1-2 years, and comes in waves. One day we might find the city we live in shut down like Mexico was. Churches, schools, restaurants, food markets were closed, and everyone was asked to stay home for a week or so. It could happen to us. Trade is expected to be interrupted during a pandemic affecting the availability of some necessary items at times. I hope that you will save 4 to 5 weeks of necessary items so that you are more prepared for the two flues that will hit us this fall. One of these flu’s will come with a bit of a bite.

UPDATE: I found this website - pandemicflu.gov by the U.S. government. It has some good information. It suggests saving 2 weeks of supplies, but I've heard 4-5 weeks by an expert.

Related Story by Associated Press: "WHO says it may declare swine flu pandemic soon"

Wordless Wednesday - Spring is my favorite season!

Wordless Wednesday - Groundhog

Groundhog: Gee, those Lilacs at the Rochester Lilac Festival are pretty enough to eat!

Random Ramblings #4

From My Computer - My foolish owner Awake could not pay the bill so I am sitting here bored, and untouched. *Sigh* However, she really wants to keep in touch with all of you, so she sneaks out to visit another computer now and then. She can't visit your blogs as often as she wants, but she is trying. I can't wait until I'm activated again! Then we can visit you more often, and talk with you more on Twitter!!! :)

Vroom Vroom! - My car is back on the road again! I had to skip a few payments on other things, but have my car on the road again. It was worth it. The Rochester bus system sucks. Boy did I miss my car!

Thank You, Kind People - I want to thank those of you that have given me moral support by continue to visit my blog although it's difficult for me to visit yours. Your visits and prayers mean a great deal to me. I want to also thank several people in particular who has helped by donating money, food, and/or services to me to help me get through this time of $ problems. You have been a God sent!

Lilac Festival - I wanted to visit it on Thursday, but it rained all day so I didn't go. I heard that they had a good number of people show up for the week.

H1N1 or Swine Flu - Very shortly I will be writing an important post about the H1N1. I hope that you all read it and take it to heart.

Please pray for Jeffrey

Jeffrey is "58; and battling more than one potentially terminal disease". Please pray and/or send positive thoughts for "divine health & healing". For the full prayer request click here.

Thank you!

Wordless Wednesday - Have you seen Brittanee Drexel?

Brittanee Drexel (17) is a Rochester NY, resident who went on vacation to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and is now missing. Her parents were on the Dr. Phil show yesterday. If you have any infomation about her please contact your local authorities.

Read more...
Democrat & Chronicle (Rochester, NY local newspaper)

Rochester NY Bus System (RGRTA) SUCKS!

Why I think our Rochester, NY bus system (RGRTA formerly RTS) SUCKS big time!-

Since I've had car problems I've had to take the bus. It has been a horrible experience! You really need a car to get around Rochester.

Exposed To The Elements. - I know that we have some bus shelters in Rochester, but have rarely seen any. You can be exposed to the rain, snow, wind etc, just waiting for the bus. If your fond of colds the bus is for you!

I Have To Walk In The Street. - Rochester doesn't have sidewalks in some areas. Also if it's winter the snow plows just pile up the snow on the sidewalks. Therefore, you have to walk in the street with ice, and snow, or wet with rain which can be slippery and dangerous. One time I fell on the ice and injured myself. Thank God a kind woman saw me, and gave me a ride home.

The Buses Don't Always Run Where, or When You Need Them - The buses only runs about once every hour, it can be hours apart on weekends. Some places they stop running before 11:00PM at night and resume at 6:00AM. If you work evenings and take the bus, then your out of luck. Many evening shift jobs end at 11:00PM. Therefore, if you can't get out early you will miss your ride.

Also if your destination is only a few miles away, you might not have bus service to it. It doesn't sound bad until you have to walk in the rain, or snow in the slippery street for three miles (one way) sometimes wearing snow boots. I've had blisters on my blisters. Now try carrying groceries all that way!

It's Expensive - They reduced the price to $1 per bus ride, but have more transfers, so it's more expensive in the long run. You can give them $3 to ride all day. But if you ride every day it's $21 for the week. I can do the same traveling spending $5-$7 a week on gas for my car. So riding the bus is much more costly.

I sometimes got the wrong information. - I carefully mapped out my destination on-line, then I called RGRTA who confirmed it. I wrote it all down carefully on paper. When I went to my bus stop I found out from another driver that bus #such&such no longer stopped there. The route is an old one that had been discontinued. The information is sometimes unreliable.

On another day I talked to a ditsy man. I told him where I was, but not my destination. He proceeded to tell me then a bus was coming. He didn't care where I was going, just wanted to inform me of the next bus to my apartment complex. Hello? Anyone home? I finally got him to understand that I had a destination in mind and got some directions. Of course I called back to get a confirmed by another non-ditsy person. Gosh!

It's extremely time consuming. I traveled about 4 miles one way and back the other day. It took the bus one hour to get there. We zigzagged all around, stopping at every mall in the aria, and sometimes waited several minutes for people to show up. The short trip took two hours to and from, and that was a simple one bus trip. It would have taken me about 15 minutes in my car.

It's sometimes crowded like sardines. - Not all the buses seemed crowded, but some buses are smaller then others. When some bus is full, I felt like a sardine in a can. The isles were narrow, and I was crunched in next to the heavy person seated next to me. We were shoulder to shoulder, and I had trouble moving.

It's difficult to see out the windows. - Some buses have advertisements one the windows so it's hard to see out the side windows. They are coated with ads. It makes it difficult to see your location and get off at the correct street.

If you live in Rochester it's best to invest in a car and skip the bus!

Rochester NY Lilac Festival is STILL ON!

In spite of having it's first confirmed case and 17 suspected cases of the H1N1 Swine Flu in Monroe County, Rochester is still going ahead with the Festival. Personally I'm looking forward to it!

According to the report "The woman and her roommate were treated and officials say they're confident her case hasn’t spread in the community." Hm, well it takes about a week to get the results back and as far as I'm concerned there could be more cases currently.

Things haven't changed here. Stores are still just as full. I haven't seen anyone wearing surgical masks. No schools have closed.

If your coming, just use common sense and take precautions...

"Take these everyday steps to protect your health: (CDC)

• Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
• Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.
• Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.
• Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
• Stay home if you are sick for 7 days after your symptoms begin or until you have been symptom-free for 24 hours, whichever is longer. This is to keep from infecting others and spreading the virus further."

You can read more about the festival here. And last years fun time here. The official website is here.

Personally I plan on going and intend to have fun! But we all have to research, and make up our on mind about how we deal with this flu. I figure that I will have a greater chance being exposed to the flu working as a CNA so a festival doesn't bother me. At lest not at this point.

Well, do we have Swine Flu (H1N1) or not?

I've been waiting for the last 3 days to find out if we have a positive case of H1N1 in my area. It's hard to keep up with the numbers. Monroe county (where Rochester is) started with 5 suspected cases, and is now at 13 suspected cases and 1 probable. Some other neighboring counties also has suspected cases - Genesee - 1, Wyoming - 1, and Ontario - 3. I'm sure that someone will test positive in the area. It's to many cases not to. I wonder when I'll find out the results? Maybe when pigs fly! ;)

Some of the pharmacies are running out of surgical masks. Actually surgical masks won't help you with the Swine Flu. They're to porous. You need a N95 mask or European standard FFP3. But the CDC doesn't have a clear cut answers concerning masks. They just say to wash your hands. Well, that's nice, but as a Nursing Assistant I have to get close to patients to feed them, change adult diapers, and so on. Can I get hazard pay now? Gee, if I had known a pandemic was coming this quickly I would have gotten health insurance.... and invested in surgical mask stock.

Wordless Wednesday - Seattle WA is well prepared

Concerning emergency preparedness like in flu epidemics, I've learned that Seattle Washington is "one of the best prepared cities in the nation." Bravo Seattle!

Um, does anyone have information on Rochester's level of emergency preparation? You see, our local state governments are in charge of flu related preparation and decisions. So far I'm not thrilled with what I'm seeing.

Friday Funnies - Letterman's Top Ten (Somali Pirate's)

David Letterman's Top Ten Thoughts Going Through the Somali Pirate's Mind While in New York City

10. This city is more dangerous than downtown Mogadishu.
9. It's like my own episode of "Gossip Girl."
8. Maybe Madonna will adopt me.
7. If I don't get a corned beef on rye soon, I'm gonna plotz!
6. How can I meet Zac Efron?
5. Go Niners!
4. Any chance of getting "Jersey Boys" tickets?
3. This would be a pretty sweet trip if it weren't for the handcuffs and jail.
2. Why the hell are these people lining up to see Letterman?
1. You charge $40 for parking, and I'm the pirate?


about.com political humor

Please Pray for Mike Gloch's in laws

Oops, I'm behind in posting this so I'll ask you to click on the link below. Please pray and/or send good thoughts & vibes.

Prayer Needed For Mike Gloch's in laws

Thank you!

This post had been deleted

This post had been deleted.

Two years to find a treatment for you

Imagine that you have an illness. You go to your doctor for help and....

Your Dr. says, - "We think we can help you, but it will take two years to find the proper treatment."

You ask - "Two Years!? WHY"?

He replies, - "We have to find the right medication and therapy combination. People react differently. You will just have to be patient. It'll take time. You will have to try various drugs and various therapies until we hit on something effective. But we think we can find something that will work ...eventually."

What would you think? How would you feel? How would you react?

I just saw the program Second Opinion. (TV show with real doctors discussing real illnesses.) It was about depression. They said that treatment often works, but it is not unusual for it to take two years. Doctors have to find the right meds & treatment combo, and that is individual. It takes time.

The other day I read that 60% of people who commit suicide are in therapy. Now I understand. Sometimes people who are clinically depressed can be suicidal, and to not be helped, even when in therapy, must be further depressing to them. Can you imagine being told that you have an illness, and yet you can't get an effective treatment for two years? Heck, that's depressing it itself!

I've had trouble with depression and anxiety. I'm not crazy about therapy in the first place, and this is not good news. I'm not saying that I have thoughts of suicide. I am not saying that. But things aren't good. The depression is slowly getting worse. And what I heard today is bad news. Imagine that you were ill and your doctor said that he MIGHT be able to help you in TWO years. How the hell would you feel? I feel a bit pissed off right now.

Related Posts - "This Isn't Me" AND "IF I saw a therapist..."

Rochester NY News & Lilac Festival Schedule 2009

Lilac Festival Information 2009 - The festival is Rochester's largest and brings in almost a half a million people each year, including tourists who travel to the area. The park has "over 500 varieties of lilacs and more than 1200 lilac bushes in the parks' 155 acres". It will take place on May 8 to 17 at Highland Park. "Musical acts will include Rickie Lee Jones, Joan Osborne, Dr. John & the Lower 911, Southside Johnny & the AsburyJukes and Big Bad Voo Doo Daddy. The festival and concerts are free." Mark Quinn, superintendent of horticulture for Monroe County says that the Lilacs are "in excellent condition."

I had a wonderful time last year (click here), and even pigged out on wine & food samplings! I particularly liked the free chicken and veggies at "Cooks Pan." and will look for them again. I hope to get a camera and take photos this year. Rochester has hard winters, but makes up for it with a ton of fun festivals! Rochester's nickname is the Flower City. Find out more http://www.lilacfestival.com/ Here is a list of more Rochester festivals, concerts, etc. and here at myrochester.com

Gay Marriage in New York State? - Cross your fingers folks! Today Gov. David Patterson introduced a bill to legalize same sex marriage in New York state. The bill was defeated when the Republicans had control, but now with the Democrats there is a fighting change. I know that my pal Pat Martinez and her partner Lisa Golden have been working hard for this. Read more here.

Time Warner, tisk, tisk! - Time Warner Cable Inc. of Rochester NY is acting greedy. It wants to use metered billing for Internet usage, (similar to gas and electric), where those who use more bandwidth pay more. In this economy? BAD IDEA! There has been a public uproar. Many home businesses work from the Web. Rochester also has a large deaf community who uses video phone as a main avenue of communication. Politicians Rep. Eric Massa and Sen. Chuck Schumer demanded that Time Warner abandon its plan. Time Warner seemed to have backed down, but not really. It is more like a postponement in hope that the community will get use to the idea and accept it. Hm, I think that I'll stick to my slow dial-up for now. It's much less expensive.

Bad News For Buffalo NY, Rochester, and more. - I was shocked when I read it! According to the local news Rochester is doing better then most other cities, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Forbes has a list of "U.S. Cities Where It's Hardest To Get By" They listed 20 on-line and, Buffalo was #5, Rochester was #15. They also have a list of "America's Most Livable Cities".It includes several cities in Mass. and Pa. among others. Hm, should I pack my bags?

Star Trek Movie - I'm a bit of a Trekkie so I had to sneak this in. The movie named "Star Trek" opens May 8. It's "a chronicle of the early days of James T. Kirk and his fellow USS Enterprise crew members". Here's the movie trailer. Oops, it opens the same day as the Lilac Festival, but I can work that out. I hope this leads to a new series! About time! YAHOO! By the way, Leonard Nimoy who plays Mr. Spock (and is also in the movie) is said to live in my area. He is my favorite Star Trek character of all time. In case he's reading this...I'm no skinny Minnie! ; )

photo credit