I'll be back in Spring?

I've been off-line. My old computer died. I've been trying to keep in touch by using the library computer and my not so smart, smart phone.

Unfortunately my smart phone hasn't helped much. I either couldn't see or log into 1/3 of the blogs on my blog roll. I couldn't see many of your pictures, etc. It was also unreliable with a ton of error signs, etc. In other words my smart phone was too unreliable and inadequate for blogging and commenting on blogs. Therefore, I have decided not to renew my smart phone in January and to put the money towards necessitates like food instead.

As for using the library computer, although Rochester hasn't had any real major snow storms, it's been an unusually cold and snowy winter. Rochester broke the December snowfall record. Like most Rochesterians, I've been hibernating this winter and so have rarely gone to the library.

I might be back in spring or summer, but frankly it's very difficult to maintain a blog and stay in touch with my blog buddies without a computer. Hopefully I'll be back soon. I hope you don't take me off your blog roll, Twitter, etc.

I want to thank all my blog buddies especially those on my blog roll. Everyone on my blog roll has enriched my life in one way or another. When I first started this blog I never thought I could have real friends by blogging, but I now believe that I have found some. A HUGE THANKS to EVERYONE on my blog roll for enriching my life!!!

I'll check my blog responses and email in a few weeks, and then I'll be off-line for winter. Have a nice winter!

P.S. I'm still seeing a counselor and working to get my life back on track after years of depression. As always prayers and/or good thoughts are greatly appreciated!

Libra, Love of My Life (part 2 of 2)

Introduction

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This is the second part and conclusion of "Libra, Love of my Life". If you haven't read my first post please do so, or this will not make sense. In the 1980's I would meet Libra and have a 7 year relationship with her. This is the true story in a nutshell. To protect identities I have changed names, blurred dates, and omitted physical descriptions, etc. I wrote each small chapter as one paragraph in order to prevent this from being 3 parts. I also wrote this using two different computers so some chapters may appear different. I hope that you pay attention to the spirit of what I say rather than the form. This post is the second of two and the conclusion.
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The Ring
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When it was all falling apart, when I knew that Libra would leave me soon, I gave her a ring. I couldn't afford anything extravagant on a nurse aide salary, but I did my best. I bought it from a reputable fine jeweler. It was lovely, a 10k gold band with her favorite gemstone and small diamonds. It was something that I should have given to her a year or two prior. I wasn't trying to keep Libra. I knew that she would leave me soon. I just wanted her to have one final small token of my love and appreciation. She gladly accepted it.

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The Inconsiderate Blow

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Libra reveled to me in an uncharacteristically harsh manor that she was sleeping with Sally. She rubbed it in my face. I burst into tears weeping like a baby as Libra held me. She had finally gotten what she wanted, the end of our relationship. But she didn't have to tell me in that way. All she needed to do was merely tell me that she was sleeping with Sally and I would have left her. Apparently she didn't realize that.

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Saving the Cake

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When Libra and I broke up I was heartbroken. It was the loneliest time in my life even until today. I felt unbearably lonely. Libra and I talked, we acknowledged that we were very best friends and we both wanted to save the friendship, (the cake). We decided to continue to see each other, but as friends only. There was nothing physical. We continued to see each other very intermittently for 3 years. Every time her girlfriend protested we had to stop seeing each other for awhile. So it was on and off contingent upon Libra's girlfriend Sally. I couldn't blame Sally, after all Libra was in the habit of getting bored and returning to an ex. I was now an ex and still in Libra's life, but I knew that I would never sleep with Libra again. She wasn't capable of a stable long-term relationship and that was hurtful to me. After an intermittent 3 year friendship I had to say good-bye to Libra. I just couldn't handle it. I don't do well with unstable, inconsistent relationships even in a good friendship. It was too hurtful. Libra and I parted on good terms.

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I Knew This Day Would Come

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Years later Libra would call me because she noticed that a relative of mine had died. She read it in the newspaper obituary section. She offered her condolences, and then the conversation turned. She mentioned that she was in the mist of a 3 year relationship. She asked me if I was "seeing anyone" and if I was "happy". I didn't want to lie, so I just told her that I was "doing just fine", in my most cheerful voice allowing her to assume that I was with someone. Libra sighed a disappointed sounding "Oh". Then she wanted to give me her phone number and rattled off the numbers. I didn't even bother to pick up a pen. It was obvious that she hadn't changed. She still was uncommitted drifting from one ex to the next. I needed more stability then that. Libra was a wonderful person and I cared about her, I just couldn't go through that again. I have never called her, nor will I. My phone number is no longer listed because I only have a call phone now. Perhaps it's just as well.
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Hope for Love In The Future

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I hope to eventually find someone to share my life with. Hopefully I will one day regard Libra as the love of my youth, and another special lady as the love of my, um, more mature years. I am a realist. I've had relationship with different types of women since Libra and am not looking for a carbon copy of her, however, she had some characteristics that I admire and hope to find in someone else. Of course being with someone who is capable of a stable relationship is important to me. Getting along with each other and being compatible is too. So is a strong friendship with mutual admiration, trust, and respect, etc. Id' like enough commonalities to be on the same page. If I ever moved in with a lady it probably wouldn't be in a matter of months, more like years, if ever. Then I might need a "man cave" ;) Right now I'm busy rebuilding my life after losses due to depression so I'm not actively looking for a special lady, yet I don't know who's around the corner. ;)
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Conclusion

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Before I wrote this post I thought in terms of Libra and I having had a 4 year relationship together. However, while I was writing this, and consulting some old calendars, I realized that we actually had 7 years together. It's just that the last 3 years were as Friends, not lover. Now that I'm older and looking back on my life to my precious very best friends that I've had, I count Libra among them. To Libra's credit she gave me about 3 marvelous years of a good stable love relationship before things gradually went down hill. Libra warned me about her commitment issues early on and probably stayed lovers with me longer than she intended for my sake. Libra had many positive attributes including a huge heart. She was truly very "good people". We all have our vices, our flaws, our imperfections. The older I get the more I realize that most people don't change even when they try. The old bad habits and patterns tend to return. I needed a very long-term stable relationship with Libra that she was incapable of providing. However, I recognize that she tried her best. Unfortunately it was an irresolvable impasse. I feel very grateful for the time that we had together and all the wonderful things that we shared. I feel privileged and grateful to have known her and to have been a part of her life. Happiness meant a great deal to Libra and I sincerely hope that she is happy. The song "Something About You", by Level 42 has always reminded me of her. Libra was truly wonderful and remarkable!...Thank you for reading these 2 long posts and for allowing me to share Libra and a bit of my life with you! ;)

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Libra, Love of My Life (part 1 of 2)

I haven’t written much about my exes, but Libra was someone quite wonderful and remarkable. Libra was the love of my life. I’m sure that these 2 posts won’t do her justice, nor articulate how unique and charismatic she was, but I’ll give it a try. In the 1980’s I would meet Libra and have a 7 year relationship with her. This is the true story in a nutshell. To protect identities I have changed names, blurred dates, and omitted physical descriptions, etc. I wrote each small chapter as one paragraph in order to prevent this from being 3 parts. I also wrote this using two different computers so some chapters may appear different in font etc. I hope that you pay attention to the spirit of what I say rather than the form. This post is the first of two.

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Background

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I was in my mid to late 20’s and still a virgin when I met this endearing woman. I had previously graduated from Bible college, and was in denial concerning my sexually. Libra was approximately 10 years my senior. She had several previous relationships with both men and women. She didn’t like labels such as gay, straight, or bi. Libra was easygoing, kind, gentle, confident, charming, attractive, feminine, and compassionate. She was smart with a good memory, and was well educated. She had a fun, effervescent, personality. Her hearty, feminine contagious laughter drew people to her.

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We Were On the Same Page

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Libra and I came from similar backgrounds and had similar views. We were highly compatible. We both liked easy-going, harmonious relationship, but disliked drama and arguing. We worked hard, but played easy preferring relaxing activities. I grew up an only child in the suburbs. Libra also grew up in the suburbs with only one sibling who was considerably older than her. She virtually grew up as an only child too. We were use to solitary, quiet, and space. We never asked each other to move in, nor did we need to explain to each other the need to have our own place to be alone. (To this day I have never had a roommate, except in college). We were both closeted at the time, so we were careful around each other's families. We had mutual admiration and respect. We were comfortable with each other and enjoyed each other's company. We were very best friends. Libra use to say that “sex was the icing on the cake and the cake was our relationship/friendship”. We had a great cake! As for the icing, that was great too. Libra said that she “never had an “O” before she met me". We both enjoyed a lot of good icing and “O”s.

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What Does A Lesbian Couple Do?

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The same thing that heterosexual couples do. In the beginning we would occasionally stay at a nice hotel making love like rabbits. We went on vacations together. She introduced me to Canandaigua, NY which became one of my favorite vacation spots. We visited each other's families during Christmas, and went to Christmas services at church. Libra loved greeting cards so we would often exchange cards, and small gifts. Sometimes we would slow dance in her kitchen after supper. She had a way of starting a joke and passing it to me; I’d add to it and pass it back. It was fun! We sometimes watched T.V. and snuggled together enjoying each other's company. Like most couples we occasionally went out to dinner and/or movie. What we did wasn’t extraordinary, but the person I was with was.

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Not Perfect

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I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, neither were we, but it was very good. In the early months I was having moral conflict over being a Christian and sleeping with a woman. I would sometimes voice my opinion to Libra which made it difficult on us. Libra wasn’t perfect either. She was great at seeing both sides of a conflict and giving good impartial advice, unless she was one of the people in the conflict. Then she acted like she couldn’t see the other person’s point of view. She just wanted to win the argument. Libra had such a good memory that she would quote me verbatim during arguing which would secretly put me in awe of her. Fortunately for me, arguments were rare because she hated arguing as much as I did. Her biggest flaw was her trouble with commitment. She tried to warn me early on saying, “I have difficulty with commitment, however, I’ve had more fun with you than anyone else”. I thought that the fun factor would make me the acceptation to the rule. I thought wrong.

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Boredom Set In

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Around our third year together Libra slowly pulled away from me. She was starting to act bored with me, and didn’t want to be with me as often. Sex which had been frequent in the beginning was now rare. This happened gradually over time. Meanwhile, my feelings towards Libra never wavered. I still loved her and wanted to be with her. I believed that I would spend the rest of my life with her. On one occasion Libra told me that she had only slept with a handful of people. She would be with someone for 2-3 years break-up then go back to a former lover. She did this repeatedly. I think she told me this to prepare me. Eventually one day Libra told me that we should have an “open relationship" so that I could date others. She said that it would “be good for me since I was in my 20’s and had only slept with one person. Also I might find a man which would be more acceptable to my family and religion” However, I knew that she wanted an open relationship for her own sake, not mind, yet I never voiced my belief. Eventually I reluctantly agreed to an open relationship. However, I purposed in my heart not to sleep with anyone else, even if Libra denied me sex. I would remain faithful to Libra.
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The Last Piece of the Puzzle

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Time went by. We had now been together 4 years. Libra's restlessness and boredom had reached its peak. I watched our relationship slowly deteriorate, sad and frustrated that I couldn't do anything about it. Then one day Libra told me that she "ran into" her ex, Sally. I remember that Libra described Sally as "smart with a great body" Since Libra had a habit of going back to her exes I knew that she and Sally would soon sleep together, ending our relationship. I never expected to be in Libra's life for 3 more years.

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Folks, I hope that you come back for the second post and conclusion of "Libra, Love of My Life." The next chapter title is "The Ring".

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Farewell to my Ex

I just want to say a short farewell to my Ex. The one out of state.

We meet again at a time when we were both having significant difficulties. We both said things that we should not have. I apologize for my part. It's a shame that we couldn't find a way to some sort of friendship. We were able to be friends the first 2 times.

I will always fondly remember the sweet lady, and friend of those earlier days.

I notice that you are gone. You have had a difficult life. I'm glad to see that you're doing better. I sincerely wish you well.

~Peace


photo credit

What's That Song? (LIQUID ILLUZION)

I heard a song playing in the supermarket the other day. It was familiar, yet not enough that I knew all the words. I stopped dead in my tracks as I tried to remember where I heard it, and what significance it had. Then it hit me. A smile came to my face. It was a song from LIQUID ILLUZION'S Playlist that she use to have on her blog. I listened to the song with a broad smile on my face. For a moment it seemed that she was listening too.

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Suzanne's blog use to be a refuge for me. I slept very little in those days, filled with depression and anxiety. For some reason it gave me comfort to listen to her Playlist while reading a post or two. I felt accepted, and welcomed by her. Little did I know that she was suffering great inner turmoil, and was depressed too. I'm grateful that I had a chance to know her a bit. I'm grateful to her for allowing me to hang out at her blog, and for sharing her life. For being a comfort to me, although she never knew it. I wish I had the time to get to know her better.

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The song was Paper Airplanes by Rosie Thomas. <-- Click to hear it on Playlist.

i wish he could see
how beautiful he is to me
i wish i could stay out of his way
but thats much too hard for me

i wish we could fly away
on a paper airplane

he tells me everything
calls me his martin luther king
says he's good at running far

i tell him everything
call him by the wrong name
say i'm good at chasing stars

i wish we could fly away
on a paper airplane
i wish we could fly away
on a paper airplane

And thank you Amias for keeping your good friends' blog open, and maintaining it so well. And sharing her with others.

Wordless Wednesday - I had a dream about...

... my beautiful friend Meleah Rebeccah. And Ohhh, the things that she did!

Hey, Check out her NEW BLOG!

Photo stolen from MOMMA MIA, MEA CULPA (hope your not angry)

New cell phone, but how can I see your blog?

I'm trying to stay in touch with my blog buddies, so I bought a new cell phone. I needed a prepaid one since my credit history isn't good. I bought Straight Talk by Walmart (Samsung R451C). The problem is that I get an error sign 95% of the time. "Document too large for availble memory." It's very frustrating! I've heard that I can sign up somewhere on the net for something that will make it easier to see blogs from my cell phone. Does anyone know where I can sign up? Feel free to email me, (email above.)

Wordless Wednesday - Liquid

Wish I could talk with you. I think you would understand. Not many can. (I'm referring to depression & suicide issues)


Photo of Liquid Illuzion, photo credit - Writing in Faith (Sandy Carlson)

Immersed in Liquid

One of Liquid's last posts... 12-18-08

A thoughtful gift...

Here is a little

"Liquid"

gift for you each!

Think of me when you add a little more ice to your holiday drinks,

'cause I'm right there with ya'!

*chuckle*

If you haven't read my last post, please do before continuing.

When I found out about the death of LIQUID ILLUZION I cried like a baby all night. It was as if I had lost a family member, which seems odd to me because I've only known her a few months. Yet I can not deny, or refuse to deny, the impact that she has had on me. A bit of Liquid and her spirit has seeped into my soul.

I'm now doing something that I've never done before. I'm getting to know someone better after their death. I'm reading her blog, and listening to her Playlist, (which unfortunately has changed some recently.) I'm a spiritual person and believe in God, Angles, heaven etc. I believe that Liquid still exists as spirit, and is at peace now. I believe that I can get to know her better, and that our spirits can still touch when I read her blog & listen to her music. So I'm getting to know my friend better, and getting closer to her after her death. An odd thing to do, but I have a feeling that liquid understands and approves.

I won't tell you about her qualities, or explain her to you. If you want to get to know her better she is still around. Her blog is still here, and part of her is in her blog. I can tell you that I often laugh out loud while reading Liquid's blog, and that I feel closer to her already. Well, I have to go now. Read more of Liquid's blog. My friend is waiting...

NOTE: I'm not asking for prays for myself. I miss my new friend, but am doing fine and I am excited about getting to know her better. It just bothers me a great deal that I can't communicate with her in this life, but believe that I will in the afterlife. I will however, ask that you pray for her family especially her children, and close friends including Amias. Besides being a close friend to Liquid, Amias is also the co-administrator of her blog and now has to deal with the fall out.

Bo Ragon wrote an interesting post called "Christian View of Suicide".

To readers - I am aware that her name is Suzanne, but I knew/know her as Liquid and refer to her as such.

She's gone? Liquid's gone?

I was running dry of blog ideas and wanted to get inspiration for something funny. So I went to visit LIQUID ILLUZION's blog tonight. One of my favorite new blogs. One of my favorite new people.

I didn't know Liquid well, but felt so comfortable at her blog. I would go and read her blog and listen to the songs on her music playlist, sometimes for hours a night. The playlist gone now, she's gone now. Did she have any idea how much time I spent there? Did she know how comfortable I felt? How welcomed? How safe?

The last time she communicated with me she asked prayers for her friend. She asked that I visit her friends blog and pray for her, which I did. The last thing that she asked of me was something for someone else. That says a lot!

I will miss my new friend. I will miss her blog, her songs, her poems, her essence...Liquid...

Jeri Suzanne Horne a.k.a. Liquid illuzion passed away on December 24, 2008. She took her own life. She was 42.

Please read other tributes to Suzanne, or add yours by clicking here.

For her blog called LIQUID ILLUZION click here.

Meridian Star Guest book for Suzanne.





Obituary from The Meridian Star

"Jeri Suzanne Horne
Jeri Suzanne Horne Services for Jeri Suzanne Horne will be held Tuesday at 2 p.m. at James F. Webb Funeral Home Chapel with the Revs. Joseph Hallman, and Dennis Marks officiating. Burial will be in Pine Springs Southern Methodist Church Cemetery. Mrs. Horne, 42, of Meridian, died Wednesday, December 24, 2008, at her residence. She was employed as a hairdresser. Survivors include her parents, Jerry and Betty White of Meridian, daughter, Isabella Horne of Meridian, son, Campbell Horne of Meridian, brother, Greg White and Ronna of Davie, Fla., niece, Madelyn White of Davie. Visitation will be Monday, 5p.m.-7 p.m. at the funeral home. Pallbearers will be Barry Murphy, Mike Grant, David Medlin, Bo Pierce, Richard Daniel, and Bryan Culpepper."

For my other posts about Suzanne, click on "LIQUID ILLUZION" in the tag cloud below.

P.S. Before I first started to blog I accused a blogger of having sudo-friends. Meaning that blog friends aren't real friends. But these are real tears I'm shedding tonight, and I didn't even know her that long. Liquid you left your mark on my soul, and I'm sure so many others. Now my prayers will go out to your family.

Happy New Year! (Blog- 1 year old)

If this photo looks familiar, it is one of my first post. The difference is that many more of you are seeing it now. I want to thank all of my readers. Your companionship, ideas, interaction, advice, and yes sometimes friendship has meant more to me that I ever thought it would!

Wishing you the best year ever!

THANK YOU,
Awake

Meleah Rebeccah's Obsession - Apple Computers

My good blog buddy, and Twitter buddy Meleah Rebeccah is on vacation in Mexico. It's a lavish family vacation five star style. Wow! You can read about it at her blog called Momma Mia Mea Culpa. Well, you know the old saying, "When the cats away, the mice will play." The beautiful Meleah recently directed me to her YouTube video. So while she's away, I just couldn't help but let you have a peek too. She has real talent! Of course she has taken her computer with her so we can keep up with her adventures of Mexico at her blog. By the way, is she naked in that bathtub?


So Happy Together-An Unhealthy Obsession With My Apple Computer. The Movie.

It's HAT War!

Well folks, I never thought I would see the day when such a war would brake on the intenet. Yes, it's HAT War! The question is... Who has the best hat? I have spoken with two of the candidates, (click here, please join). Or tried to speak with them. But was snubbed by both that were in the Twitter room. They seemed to intent on winning the vote of someone else, and cast me aside. You would think they would at lest shake my hand! I've seen McCain & Obama shake many a hand. Ahhh, it's a sad day. But one of those hats must be chosen, for the good of our country. After all, we can not have a hatless country. Who would you vote for? All 3 hats can be seen at Speedy's Blog...

Speedycat Hollydale Cast your vote on this blog.

You may also check out the blogs of the other candidates...

Nurse Amanda Hugankiss

Renny BA (apparently sponsored by Olga The Talking Bra)

Once you decide, please come back and tell me how you voted. Perhaps you can help me choose.

My Blog Buddy on Talk Radio Friday! Today!

Doctor Anonymous on Blog Talk Radio will interview my blog buddy Kim from AsThePumpTurns It will be on Friday 9:00 PM - EST. Kim is a 1st year nursing student who is also a dialysis tech. Broadcasting form Dallas, TX. ...Please tune in! ;o) I think that you can call in to the show & ask her questions too.

Click here for the link.

Have you ever seen a Ghost?

The following story has been altered, but is based on fact.

My good friend Bev Hanson lost her brother. As kids, we were neighbors. This was in the days when neighbors were treated like family. Our neighbors the Hanson's, shared birthdays & holidays with us. Bev was several years older then me. Her older brother Marvin was the brain of the family. Younger brother Bill was my age, and suffered an untimely death.

Bev was very pretty, and sociable. She was the Senior prom queen. Later in life she would believe that she had a 6th sense. She claimed to predict things that would come true.

Marvin was the brain of the family. He played chess at a very early age. His first memories were of being in a play pen. When he grew up, people would tell him that he should have been a college professor.

Bill was the baby of the family. He was about my age. A very likable, handsome man. Recently Bill was in a car accident that took his life. Bill was buried in the cemetery across from his home.

A week after the funeral Bev went over to Bills house to sort out his things. They needed to get rid of everything, and sell the house. She claimed that she saw Bill. She wouldn't say what he said, or did. But just that she had seen him.

A week later Marvin (the intellect) went to Bill's house to help sort out things. He said that he was sitting on the couch when Bill came right over and sat next to him. Bill said "Hi Bro". Then faded away.

If it had only been Bev that saw Bill I might have dismissed it. But Marvin? Marvin the brain? No way! I was shocked!

Could the ghost of Bill be in that house? Or maybe he came over from the cemetery across the street?

What do you think? Have you ever seen a ghost, or had an encounter with one?

Social Networking - Which community do you like?

MyBlogLog, del.icio.us, digg, Twitter, reddit, Technorati, StumbleUpon, Facebook, Brightkite. The list goes on, and on. Since I've been remodeling my blog, I am also giving networking a second look. Which ones are the most popular, or best when it comes to blog networking? Which is your favorite? My favorite is Twitter.

I've joined several communities that I'm listing here. I would love to be add as your friend, or part of your community.

MyBlogLog

Twitter

Blogger Friends is to your left.

Technorati

StumbleUpon

I just joined StumbleUpon because my blog buddy DeboHobo is crazy about it, so I thought I'd give it a try. On StumbleUpon when someone clicks on "awakeinrochester's blog", (bottom right), your suppose to be able to get my feed. It doesn't work. Can anyone suggest how to fix it?


Photo credit

Grey's Anatomy: Doctors Erica Hahn & Callie Torres Lesbian Kiss

They showed Grey's Anatomy season final again. My favorite scene was the kiss between Doctor Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith), and Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez.) I'm predictable, ha? I think Torres is hot! The You Tube video has clips of the lesbian, (or bisexual) storyline leading up to the kiss as well as the kiss, (actually kisses).

If this post looks familiar it's a partial repeat. I just had to show it again since they did. ;)

So what is your prediction concerning Torres, and Hahn? This storyline is juicy so more should come of it. Hahn seemed to be talking about Cristina Yang a lot, so maybe some complication with Yang. What do you think will happen?


"Grey's Anatomy - Lesbian Storyline" (3:46 minutes)


"Callie & Erica - I Kissed a Girl" (2:09) (Word free, brighter version)

My Blog Changes + Thanks

I want to talk to you about several items. -

First, my blog will have a new look...

You will notice several changes in my blog soon. I'm going to have more "toys" or wegits on my blog. I may have to change my template so I can neatly fit the wegits on my sidebar. I don't want my blog to look to messy, and it's already starting too. So it might have a new look soon.

Second, I will talk about a variety of subjects, not just politics...

I have had a lot of political posts lately. I feel that it is important for me to have a political voice here, but I also acknowledge that I have some blog readers from other countries who visit my blog often. I don't want to leave them out. Therefore, I will have more of a mixture of posts.

Third, I want to thank...

I want to thank those wonderful, faithful, readers from other countries for continuing to visit my blog, and for your recent comments, even though I have harped on U.S. politics. My thanks goes out to...

eastcoastlife (Singapore)

Lady Banana (London, UK)

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow (New Zealand)

I also want to thank several other people. We may not see eye to eye on political matters, but you have listened me to express my beliefs, (in some cases on your blog), and still remain welcoming to me. And my thanks also to some others who have expressed their political views even though they normally don't. I'm glad that you have felt comfortable enough to express your views on my blog. My policy concerning this blog is that I welcome a variety of opinions as long as you are kind, courteous, and respectful of one another. My thanks goes out to...

Against the Grain

Hahn at Home

Lilly's Life

Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

shrimplate

Spiritual Brush Strokes

twofinches


I hope that I didn't leave anyone out. I hope you forgive me if I did.

Forth, your suggestions...

I'm busy these days and might not have a lot of time to blog. However, I was wondering if there is anything that you want me to write a post on? What would you like to hear? I can't guarantee that I will blog about it, but will consider it. I appreciate your input. ;o)


Photo credit

Blog Award Time!

I have two blog awards to pass out.

The first is to my good blog buddy Lady Banana. She recently amazed me because she vacationed in Greece, and purposely left her computer at home! She's a dedicated blogger so I know that was difficult for her. I give her this "Vacationing Banana" Award!

--------------------------------
I was given this very cute award from Lady Banana. Thanks LB!
If you don't see anything, or have trouble with the photo click here.



I'd like to pass this award on to the following ...

• about a nurse
• Against the Grain
• And So It Goes On
• As The Pump Turns
• dcr Blogs
• Debo Hobo dot com
• Dr. Deb
• eastcoastlife
• Fat Doctor
• Health Psych
• laurensfitness.com
• Living Our Dream
• Moments Of Randomness
• Momma Mia, Mea Culpa
• Odd Planet
• Sheep and Goats
• Spiritual Brush Strokes
• the isle of kevin
• Way Khool Sites
• Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Have You Ever Put Someone On A Pedestal?

Some of the facts have been changed so that the woman on the pedestal would be protected.

Have you ever put someone up on a pedestal? You know, thought that they were so special that they could do no wrong? That's how I felt about Mandy. When I lived in Syracuse I met an RN who was very special. She was not only a very caring and good nurse, but she was a Christian, and a perfect example. It wasn't just me that thought so, but many others.

Mandy had more then her share of problems. She had a chronic disease, and was often in pain. She had an abusive husband who was diagnoses as a sociopath. Yet, Mandy relied, and trusted in God so much that she acted like she didn't have a care in the world. She was upbeat, and joyful. She loved helping others, and had a huge heart. Mandy was very approachable, had many friends, and admiring peers. The patients respected, and liked her. She read the Bible on her breaks, and sometimes discussed it with others. More then that she seemed to embody love, joy, and forgiveness. In my book she was the very definition of an nearly perfect nurse, person, and Christian.

Today things changed a bit. Reality set in a bit. I Googled Mandy's name and found out that she had an action of misconduct as a nurse, and admitted to it. Mandy had taken a narcotic for her own use at work. The narcotic was meant for a patient. At first I was shocked, then I started to make excuses for her in my mind- She had a painful, chronic, disease, perhaps she was out of her own medication. Perhaps the patient was a sleep, and didn't need the med. Maybe that's what happened? Or maybe it was worse. Maybe Mandy had been on pain meds for so long that she was addicted.

At any rate, I know that her actions were wrong, and I'm sure that Mandy does too. Isn't it odd that some people can do 99% right, and good in there lives. Then there is that 1% that dashes them down to the ground. It reminds me of that movie Crash, best picture Oscar for 2005. Have you ever seen it? If you haven't, you should! I highly recommend it. Early in that movie you think that you have the good guys, and bad guys all figured out. Then at the end you realize that no one is 100% good, or bad, but we are all just human. We all make mistakes. That's not to say that we shouldn't try to do our best, but one quick wrong decision can mess up a life. I guess we can only do our best, and hope that we don't get slapped down to hard when we make a mistake. Or at lest that those around us, especially our loved ones, will be understanding.

Tonight my heart goes out to an old friend and colleague, her family, especially her children. I hope that her children realize that their mother is special in spite of imperfections.

Note to readers - I do not condone abuse, and personal believe that it is a deal breaker in a marriage. However, I understand Mandy's decision to stay with her husband, and respect her determination, love, and ability to forgive. She was not alone. Family members, some friends, and key people in her church knew. Both her, and her husband were receiving church, and professional counseling. I also would have respected Mandy if she had chosen to leave him.