Please pray for Liquid illuzion's family (Jeri Suzanne Horne)

This Christmas Eve will mark the first anniversary of the suicide of Liquid illuzion. Please say a prayer (or send good vibes) for her family and friends, especially her children. I'm sure that Christmas will never be the same for them.

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Frozen in Time by Awake in Rochester

Last Photograph

Last poem

Last words

Last post

Last phone call

Last Christmas cards sent

Last kiss

Last words to children

All frozen in time

Forever 42

Bits & pieces, scraps, I try to glean from you.

You thoughts on paper try to understand.

You photographs I beg for.

Why?

Why did you have to go?

I try to understand.

Your spirit occasionally I can connect.

But you can not speak words to me in present.

I think it's a crime.

Forever frozen in time.

"For we see now through a dim window obscurely, but then face to face..." 1 Cor. 13:12

photo credit

Happy Suicide Awareness Day! Yippee! (Sept. 10)

I'm aware of suicide. I think about it all the time. Ha, ha. Er, if you want to read a GOOD post on Suicide Awareness Day then visit Dr. Deb. Meanwhile, I'll head to the semi-dark/sick humor side. If it scares you then...BOO!...don't read it. ...Wimp!

True Story - An old man's family wanted to put him away in a nursing home, so the guy built a "death machine" that repeatedly fired a 22 caliber gun at him. I guess it was his final F/U to his family. I don't condone what he did but at lest he was creative, original, and good with his hands. Hm, maybe he can fix my toaster? Oops, to late!

Thought - IF depression is a disease, and suicide is a part of depression; does that mean that those who die from suicide die from a disease?

10 Waring Signs of Suicide

1) You tied your tie, and it ends up looking like a noose.

2) When you hear the word "suicide" you turn and reply "Yes" as if your name was called.

3) You have 4 library books about suicide at home (Yeah!)

4) You click your heals three times repeating, "Please God take me home". (Amen!)

5) Your favorite "South Park" character is Kenny. "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" "Those bastards!"

6) You have scars on your wrists, and tell people that your writs were run over by a bicycle.

7) Last week you became deliriously happy while planing your suicide and gave all your possessions to charity.

8) You had sex with your husband for the first time in 8 months. It was a "goodbye fuck".

9) During your depression group you take a poll asking for the top 3 ways they would "off themselves."

10) When a burglar robs your bank, you stick your finger in the barrel of his gun and say, "Make my day!"


Thought - I once related to those grieving for someone who committed suicide. Now I relate to the people who committed suicide.


True Story - Kevin Hines jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and lived. He said that he wouldn't have jumped if ONE person had bothered to say "hello" to him. After recovering from a broken back, and months of rehab, Kevin now talks with those who are suicidal.

Poem - Its all gone up in smoke. My life's become a big joke. People no longer see me, just depression city. Sick of worrying, crying, and the weight. The sight of me I really do hate. Wish it would be over soon. Maybe it will be before noon.

HEY, if you can relate to this post, (especially the last part), then you are a sick puppy and in need of help. Make an appointment with a local counselor, or if you need help yesterday call 1-800-273-TALK(8255). You might be aware that I'm not crazy for shrinks, (except maybe for Dr. Deb), but do as I say not as I do, and you'll be alright. Get help if you need it!

SONG - Never Too Late by Three Days Grace (YouTube)


Note: This blog owner will self destruct in three days! Ha, ha, just joking! This blog owner admits to watching to many sick South Park programs.

photo credit

Prayers, Poems, For Bereavement

As most of you who have been reading this blog know, Jeri Suzanne Horne a.k.a. Liquid illuzion passed away. I thought that I'd post a few prayers. Click on the first few words of the pray for the links.There are also more prayers, poems, and also links about grief at the bottom.
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(Poem) Death is nothing at all -

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
[There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident?]
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well.
(Canon Henry Scott Holland of St. Paul's Cathedral)
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Prayers For Bereavement
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O merciful Father, who taught us in your holy Word that you would not willingly affict us, look with pity upon the sorrows of (name) for whom our prayers are offered. Remember her/him, O Lord, in mercy, nourish her/his soul with patience, comfort her/him with a sense of your goodness, lift up your countenance upon her/him, and give her/him peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
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Dearest Jesus, who wept at the death of your friend
and taught that they who mourn shall be comforted,
grant us the comfort of your presence in our loss.
Send Your Holy Spirit to direct us
lest we make hasty or foolish decisions.
Send Your Spirit to give us courage
lest through fear we recoil from living.
Send Your Spirit to bring us your peace
lest bitterness, false guilt, or regret take root in our hearts.

The Lord has given.
The Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Amen.

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WE GIVE THEM back to you, dear Lord, who gave them to us.
Yet as you do not lose them in giving, so we have not lost them by their return.
Not as the world gives do you give, O Lover of souls. What you gave you do not take away; for what is ours is ours always, if we are yours. And life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only an horizon, and an horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Lift us, strong Son of God, that we may see farther.
Cleanse our eyes that we may see more clearly.
Draw us closer to yourself that we may know ourselves nearer to them.
And while you are preparing a place for us, prepare us for that happy place, that
where they are and you are, we too may be; through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
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Kaddish -The prayer extolling God that is said by mourners. (Jewish)


Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
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Poem-

The season of mourning,
like spring, summer,
fall and winter,
will also pass.

- Molly Fumia

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The Lord's Prayer click here
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The Rosary click here
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Bereavement Sites: Prayers, Poems & Coping with Grief -

In Loving Memory with thanksgiving

Sadly Missed.com

Self-Healing Expressions- Sympathy Poems and Quotes

Mayo Clinic- Survivors of suicide: Healing after a loved one's suicide

Coping with Grief and Loss:

Coping with Grief

For more posts about Jeri Suzanne Horne, go to the cloud tag below and click on "LIQUID ILLUZION"

Pieces

Pieces of me
Breaking off floating in obscurity
Where?
I don't know where
Dead....gone

Frozen in time

Last Photograph
Last poem
Last words
Last post
Last phone call
Last Christmas cards sent
Last kiss
Last words to children
All frozen in time
Forever 42
Bits & pieces, scraps, I try to glean from you
You thoughts on paper try to understand
You photographs I beg for
Why? Why did you have to go?
I try to understand
Your spirit occasionally I can connect
But you can not speak words to me in present
I think it's a crime
Forever frozen in time


"For we see now through a dim window obscurely, but then face to face..." 1 Cor. 13:12


Photo from the blog of Liquid illuzion

Secret Refuge (a poem to Liquid)

Liquid loved poems, & wrote many beautiful ones. I'm not good at poetry. I haven't written many since I was a child. I hope that you will look at my heart as I pay tribute to Liquid illuzion, and not my numerous mistakes. To my regular visitors- I know that you have heard a lot about Liquid these past few days, but please hang in there with me as I work this through.

This is for/to YOU Liquid,


Secret Refuge


Hostile Night approaches, demons of the mind.

Anything but sleep. I wander into your liquid blue divine.

Secret refuge from the night. I hid in your wake.

Dark yet decorated in soft light. Liquid blue lake.

A blue feather to dry my tears.

You take away all my of fears.

Photos, laughter, old Bibles, Daisy lab, pearls, fried green tomatoes too.

I sipped slowly from your delicious brew.

Didn't know you well, but feeling was inside.

You want me there. Welcomed me with pride.

Your words I read. Your songs I listen to.

Warm, comforted, safe. The night now ruled by you.

Blue bottles on tree limbs. My demons you cast away.

My torturous night, you magically turn to day.

Your blue liquid washes over me. Took the fear out of my body.

Mistakenly I thought we had time. Get more acquainted, good friends, but I was blind.

For the demons you had too.You just couldn't shake them off of you.

On that horrible day you took your life. My secret refuge floated away.

Now never be the same. Music swept away.

For the greatest gift you took from me was...

YOU


by Awake


(Poem background info - When I had trouble sleeping at nights due to worry I use to visit Liquid's blog. I felt welcomed, safe, warm. As I read her posts, and listened to her playlist sometimes for hours, my worries magically washed away. It's just not the same today.)

Meme... by Liquid Illuzion

I am to list FIVE words

I hope are used to describe me after I'm gone.

So, here's my five:

1) Loving

2) Giving

3) Fun

4) Daring

and

5) Missed

From Awake: Yes, the description fits you perfectly!

Part of this post is from the blog of Liquid Illuzion a.k.a Jeri Suzanne Horne who no longer dwells here on earth, but who lives on in spirit, and her blog. Please keep her family & friends in prayer. Some of this is from her post - "Meme..." dated 4-17-2008