Personal Update & Random Thoughts

Cinnamon sprinkles in coffee smells and tastes wonderful!
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I'm doing well and feeling good. I'm eating healthy, and have lost a nice chunk of weight. I haven't had an episode of depression in about 8 months. This is a miracle considering that I'm out of work and have ongoing medical testing. I thank God that the depression has abated. I believe that It has something to do with healthy eating. Mmm veggies! My counselor is surprised that I'm doing so well. However, I don't think I'm out of the words yet. I’m working with my counselor to take small steps toward mental wellness. Physical tests are scheduled for the next few months. Your prayers and good thoughts are greatly appreciated. I hope they don't find any disease.

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I have a wonderful family. Sometimes I think that my aunt is an angel. She’s very caring and knows just what to say.

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I’ll be glad when Gray’s Anatomy returns on Sept. 23^rd. It’s one of the few good T.V. shows on non cable T.V. It’s cathartic because I often cry as I relate to Meredith Gray.

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Televangelists seem stuck in the 50’s or 80’s at best. Their teaching techniques, songs, and sermons, are stuck in the past. They basically have two teaching styles, they preach from the pulpit, or a few people sit and chat. They could learn a lot from Dr. Wayne Dyer who uses a mixture of lecture, multi-media, modern songs, short stories, and short testimonies form guests, all with a modern flavor. Why can’t they recognize that they are losing the younger generation and upgrade?
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Does it bother anyone else that God killed so many people and so often in the Old Testament? I hate killing. Little wonder that I consider myself a New Testament gal.
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This Rochester summer is beautiful if you like it hot. We have had lots of weather in the 80’s. We only had a handful of days in the early 90s. We have hard winters, but the other seasons are lovely! Temperatures are moderating nicely now, and I’m looking forward to a colorful, beautiful, refreshing, autumn.

Pondering The Pussy

CAT Scan test results are in, and I'm pondering them. The good news is that I'm in no immediate danger. Nothing horrible appeared. The bad new is that they found one or two new things that may, or may not be serious. It's unknown at this time.

Nothing conclusive. No diagnoses. Not one definite answer to date. And they have not ruled out that horrible disease that I could have. It is very frustrating! I have to have more tests, and see 3 doctors now, starting on Thursday.

Are you tired of all this? I sure am! I hope that what I have is curable, or at lest highly manageable. I also hope that they get to the bottom of this soon. Good thoughts/prays are always appreciated.

What's New Pussycat by Tom Jones <-- Click on this

Personal Update - Incompetent Knucklehead!

Incompetent Knucklehead! - I had a telephone interview with my Food Stamp social worker. She said that she had received my paperwork, that it was in order and I would continue to get Food Stamps. That was a month ago. A few days ago I got a letter from her stating that she had never received my paperwork, and that my Food Stamps will be cut off on July 31st. I have a receipt for the paperwork and mailed a copy to her. I hope it sparks her memory. It would be nice to have money for food. Please say it with me... INCOMPETENT KNUCKLEHEAD!

Inspection Time - Every year we have inspection at my apartment complex. I save way too many things. Where did all this junk come from? I'm trashing most of it. Clean, clean, clean. Anyone want to dust?

My Mysterious Disease (The Plot Thickens) - My doctor found a hard spot in my tummy area when he examined me. Last night's Chinese dinner? I wish! The spot is sore and I've been aware of it. My CAT SCAN is scheduled for Wednesday July 28th. Please pray/send good thoughts that it's something very minor and curable!

Cell/Web Telephone is OFF - I didn't renew my Straight Talk phone this month. It updated itself and screwed itself up. At first I couldn't get Face Book, then Twitter. Now I'm using my free government Safe Link phone instead. Hm, I wonder if Pres. Obama is listening in on me? He would hear me calling my social worker an incompetent knucklehead. Because my not so smart phone is off, I won't be online as much. I'll post occasionally on the library computer, but have to use it primarily for job seeking. My counselor also wants me out and about more. Hey, it's summer! A great time for being outside. I'll still try to keep in touch. I don't want to lose you folks so don't forget me.

One Big Cucumber! - Does it look suspicious when a woman buys one big cucumber and nothing else at the supermarket? Um, just wondering. ;)

photo credit

Personal Update - Getting Healthy Step by Step

Depression is like a bully knocking you down to the ground for no reason at all. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to be knocked down. But it takes time to get up, and many, many, baby steps to learn how to walk again. I'm taking baby steps, and trying very hard with minimal results so far. But results will come with time. My buddy Meleah Rebeccah got it right with her series "Doing Things Differently". You have to change your bad habits and get new ones in order to change. Many of the changes are small, but will result in significant positive results over time. Small steps. I want to have a health, and normal life again. Small steps!

Good News! - It's been about 8 months since I've had an episode of depression! I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm working hard trying to keep depression at bay.

I've Changed My Eating Habits - About a year ago I was living on processed, starchy, high calorie, pantry food (donated). Since I got food-stamps, and a health scare, I've been eating good healthy food. Including lots of veggies, plus a daily vitamin. I'm trying to get healthy, or at least give my body what it needs to fight the disease that I have. (Whatever that is)

Walkies - I'm staring to go on short walks. Wow, am I out of shape! The walks are short now, but distance will increases in time.

Counseling - The guy is alright. I'm learning how to work with him. I've learned that he is unfocused, and tends to forget. So I need to stress what I need, and he comes up with helpful ideas.

Getting Out More - I'm getting out and about more. My counselor wants me to mingle with people more, and also do things that interest me. Admittedly, I have to work on this. More activity opportunities will come in summer. At least I'm getting out a little more.

May I Go Back To Work? - When I asked my counselor this question, he said that I wasn't ready. However, I think that if I got just the right type of job, he might change his mind. I'm going to work on this with him. I hope to go back to work soon. Otherwise, I'll have to get a lawyer and apply for disability with takes more than 6 months to kick in. Then the first 6 months are the lawyers fees. Ek! The system isn't set up to help people.

Why Are You Doing So Well Depression Wise? - My counselor asked this. I possibly could have a terrible disease, and my aunt died recently, but I'm doing good. I think that part of it is eating a much healthier diet, and taking vitamins. Also a part are YOUR prayers and good thoughts. Thanks a ton! Please keep sending them. Something is working. ~crossing fingers~

I Might Not Be On The Internet Quite As Much - As you can see, my plate is full. Right now I have to considerate on getting healthy, and that takes a lot of time, and work. I won't disappear, but you might not see me around quite as much.

A Bit Blue Today

The hematologist who was suppose to call regarding interpreting my CBC hasn't called yet. It's been about 6 weeks since my CBC was taken. I informed my doctor, (Homer Simpson), Apparently I don't have a very rapid growing disease/infection, or I would be hospitalized by now. Sheesh! I still think it might be that bear of a disease. I've been reading about it. The treatments are painful, and barbaric. Apparently Dr. Josef Mengele, (nazi doctor notorious for his cruel experiments at Auschwitz), dreamed them up. I'm not going to see my shrink this week, I've rescheduled. I don't want to talk about all this latest crap with him, at lest not until I know what's wrong with me. However, part of me dosn't want to be diagnosed. If i have this disease it will change my life, and not in a pleasent way.

Quick Update, plus Huge Storm Coming.

Quick, choppy, update on cell instead of using library computer because need food etc before huge storm hits Thus-Sun. TV says maybe worst in 2 yrs! Only 2nd notable storm this season...UPDATE FROM LAST POST-Left message for docs boss (not typical of me), said it's been 3 weeks since odd CBC results, and I won't get interpretation of it for a mo. Ek! Next day my doc called on his day off! He had called a hematologist who will give me a free consultation. Finally! Guess my doc got chewed out by his boss! Now waiting for hematologist to call. Busy studding disease I think I have. I'm tring to prepare emotionally for worst news, and to have some good questions for him. Prayers/good thoughts greatly appreciated!

My Doctor, Homer Simpson

My doctor acted like Homer Simpson today. As you may recall I have been worried about my CBC test results. I have had a high white blood cell count, low grade fever, and some other symptoms for months now. The first CBC test also indicated some possible abnormal cells, but was discarded. So I took another CBC blood test. My doctor was supposed to consult with an hematologist, and let me know about it today. I have been going crazy with worry for the last 3 weeks! I only slept one hour last night.

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I found out today that my doctor hadn't even looked at the new CBC test! As we sat waiting for it, he asked me about my symptoms, fever, and pains that I have been having. He told me that the fever wasn't all that high, and that my symptoms were due to depression. In other words, all in my head. I reminded him that I have been in depression for years, but never had a fever or other symptoms until recently. In fact I have only seen him once a year until now.

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The nurse brought in the CBC result that she just got from the lab. Homer, um, my doctor looked over the results and said that my white blood count was still elevated, and possibly some abnormal cells. He said that it was "cause for concern." Well, DAH!!! I already knew that from the last CBC. He was suppose to consult the hematologist, and tell me his findings today. Now I have to wait another month until he does so. Anyone have some Valium? Well, that's a free clinic for you. Slower then molasses. Um, is there a hematologist out there?

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Related Posts: My Mysterious Illness... AND... Hey Doc., What's My Illness?

Grey's Anatomy: Doctors Erica Hahn & Callie Torres Lesbian Kiss

They showed Grey's Anatomy season final again. My favorite scene was the kiss between Doctor Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith), and Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez.) I'm predictable, ha? I think Torres is hot! The You Tube video has clips of the lesbian, (or bisexual) storyline leading up to the kiss as well as the kiss, (actually kisses).

If this post looks familiar it's a partial repeat. I just had to show it again since they did. ;)

So what is your prediction concerning Torres, and Hahn? This storyline is juicy so more should come of it. Hahn seemed to be talking about Cristina Yang a lot, so maybe some complication with Yang. What do you think will happen?


"Grey's Anatomy - Lesbian Storyline" (3:46 minutes)


"Callie & Erica - I Kissed a Girl" (2:09) (Word free, brighter version)

Heat Wave - Marilyn Monroe & CDC Extreme Heat

Marilyn Monroe sings "Heat Wave" in the movie "There's No Business Like Show Business" (1954)



Rochester, NY has one more day of very hot weather. The prediction is 92 degrees, near record heat.

Here is some information from the CDC on Extreme Heat including heat stroke, and exhaustion. Keep cool!

The Card: A Sign of Dementia?

The following has been altered due to respect, and confidentiality.


A relative sent me a card recently. I will call her Katie. The card was about a special family occasion that takes place every year. This year Katie signed it "Love Granny." The problem is, she is not my Grandmother. She has grandchildren, and might have gotten mixed up, but I think it's more then that. I have noticed a slight decline in her memory for the last few years. Nothing major, but noticeable. Katie is in her late 70's. Her only sibling, (Mag), had dementia and was tested for Alzheimer's disease just before she died. Mag died before the results came back, but it was probably positive. So I'm a bit worried about Katie. I can't call her. She is gone for the summer, and I don't have long distance. At lest some of the family will be with her.

Katie is one of the nicest, sweetest, people you could know. She loves her family, is very caring, generous, loving, very friendly. She is the type of person that you would feel proud to have as a friend. A good, loyal, friend. But time might be taking a toll on her.

As a Nursing Assistant, (CNA.) I know that old age can be cruel. I have seen some people decline physically, and mentally to the point of torture. That's what I would call it. If one human did those things to another, it would be considered torture. I just don't want that to happen to Katie.

Several years ago Katie had a heart condition, and was operated on. If she hadn't had the operation she might have died. But it might have been a relatively quick death. Unfortunately modern science, (medicine), sometimes can be a curse in old age. I hope that when it is her time, that she goes quickly. I hope that she never regrets having that operation.

Please say a prayer for her.

Grey's Anatomy: Lesbian Kiss, and Suicide

Grey's Anatomy - Lesbian Storyline


Did you see the Grey's Anatomy season final? If you didn't, don't worry, I won't revel a great deal here. Just my favorite, and lest favorite scenes.

My favorite scene was the kiss between Erica Hahn, and Callie Torres. (I'm predictable, ha?) I think Torres is hot!

My least favorite scene was between Meredith, and her shrink. Meredith had a revelation, and realized that when her mother cut her wrist it was to get attention. After all she was a "excellent surgical nurse", and would have cut her -----, if she meant it. (or similar words). I hate that scene for several reasons.

1) If someone tries to commit suicide they are not in a rational state of mind, and they might try to kill themselves by any means. It might not be the most logic means. It should be seen as a serious attempt, and not just an attention getter.

2) They mention a more effective way to commit suicide then cutting wrists. I hate that! I don't want to mention it. Oh, I knew it before, but someone not so familiar with anatomy and who saw the program might not have considered it. It might have given someone who is suicidal a deadly idea. You've heard of copy cat murders? Well, I'm sure that there are copy cat suicides. Well, at least Meredith didn't point to the area.

Did you know that the suicide rate in the U.S. is twice as large as the homicide rate? (There are an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides to one completion.) It is hidden, a stigma is still attached. I mean, when is the last time you read the obits, and saw that someone committed suicide? It's all swept under the rug.

Senator Edward (Ted) Kennedy Has a Brain Tumor

It was just announced on TV, and has only hit a few Internet papers, but Sen. Ted Kennedy has a cancerous brain tumor. Please pray for him, and his family. As you may know, the 76 year old is the last of the four famous Kennedy bothers, and is an icon. His most famous brother was John Kennedy, a former president who was assassinated in 1963. The Kennedy family has been plagued by tragic deaths. He has been an outspoken, highly reverie, Democrat Senator for almost 50 years. He also ran for president in 1980.

BOSTON (AP) — Doctors say Sen. Edward Kennedy has a brain tumor.
by Glen Johnson

"A cancerous brain tumor caused the seizure Sen. Edward M. Kennedy suffered over the weekend, doctors said Tuesday in a grim diagnosis for one of American politics' most enduring figures.

Doctors for the Massachusetts Democrat say tests conducted after Kennedy suffered a seizure this weekend show a tumor in his left parietal lobe. Preliminary results from a biopsy of the brain identified the cause of the seizure as a malignant glioma.

His treatment will be decided after more tests but the usual course includes combinations of radiation and chemotherapy..."

Other Articles:

Factbox: Sen. Edward Kennedy

CNN- Doctors: Ted Kennedy has brain tumor

My Friend has Superbug MRSA, Please Pray!

A friend of mine has a Superbug - community-associated MRSA, or CA-MRSA. She has had emergency surgery. The wound was infected. She is on maga antibiotics now. The doctor will get the test results soon, and find out if the antibiotics are working, or not. Today she told me that she felt VERY sick. She could only eat half of one of her favorite sandwiches. I am asking everyone to please pray for her. If your not into praying then please send her your good thoughts, and wishes. She has had more then her share of physical problems. She will see the Doctor soon. Thank you!

UPDATE: She saw her Doctor. The antibiotics she was taking didn't do the trick. She is on new antibiotics, and they hope that it will not go to the BONE. Ekk!

Twitter and People on My Blogroll

Have you heard about Twitter? It's a cool way to stay connected though short messages. A way to network, and publicize your blog, or anything else. I found out that FatDoctor accidentally erased her blog through Twitter. It only takes a moment to join. I have a new Twitter Wedget on my blog, you can join, and follow me on Twitter that way. Or you can just click here. But be careful it's almost as addictive as Blogging! I thought that I would Twitter about the wonderful people that are on my blogroll list, and spread some link love too.

The two most frequent, and faithful at commenting are Moments Of Randomness, and Sheep and Goats. (by Tom sheepandgoats). Thanks guys! Against the Grain, written by a lesbian who won an historic and precedent setting ruling which says that all legal same-sex marriages must be recognized in New York State. Yahoooo! Thanks Pat, and Lisa! And So It Goes On - A caregiver in Michigan who has an obvious flair for writing, and a good heart. Debo Hobo dot Com - She just had a birthday. Can you guess her age? If you can you just might win a $10 Amazon.com gift card. Check out her post dated March 13, 2008. Dr. Deb is a Psychologist. I'm not big on therapists, but I would like to be on her couch. Ahh, no Freudian slip intended. dcr Blogs- A smart cookie who likes to blog about blogging, and other things. I've learned from him. Eastcoastlife has a very popular blog. I'm learning about Singapore from her.

Forging Iron Man - He's a nursing student, into martial arts, and cancer survivor. We have several things in common- Christianity, Health Care, and Star Trek. We have had our disagreements, but work though them, (see link below). He's a good guy. Lady Banana is a cheeky Brit who has an addiction problem. She blogs about it openly. Laurensfitness.com - I wish I could hire her as my personal trainer. I could have used this info when I was a vegetarian. Living Our Dream is about a couple from my area who sold everything they owned and purchased a boat. They have been traveling around the world for 3 years. Now that's living!

If you want a good laugh visit Odd Planet. which has humorous news stories, dumb criminals, odd people, and funny pictures. The Isle of Kevin- A brit with a very funny blog. Trying to Catch the Wind - She's from my area, a substitute teacher and an animal care assistant. Way Khool Sites has the most interesting websites listed in her blog. She lives in Hawaii. About a Nurse is the newest addition to my blog family. It's amazes me how well she treats her patients. Beth Allen ll Recommended blogger to me. Google Blogger has worked well for me, and blogging is additive. I now have a general rule to only put one blog site up per person, but back then I blogrolled 2 other of Beth's sites - Beth Allen Inc. and Writing 5 to 9.

So please visit my blogroll friends, tell them that Awake In Rochester sent you. And I would love it if you joined me on Twitter!

I have posted about some of you-

Monroe County to appeal same-sex ruling

As a Bible College graduate why can't you see that Homosexuality is a sin?

FatDoctor.org: Erased? Her Blog Erased?

UPDATED- FatDoctor.org: Erased? Her Blog Erased?

UPDATED- SHE'S BACK! ... The problem is solved, she now has all of her posts. FatDoctor is now back online with a new blog! Please stop over and say hi, give her your suport. Reconstructing a blog must be a pain in the butt. Tell her that I sent you ;o)

http://fatdoctor.blogspot.com/

My blog buddy FatDoctor of FatDoctor.org posted this on Twitter yesterday.... "Accidentally erased my whole blog. And I don't have a backup. No sense crying - it's not like a family member dying...or is it?" It was a shock to me. She had one of the best blogs I have ever seen, and is a very sweet, caring, down to earth person.

I have been working closely with FatDoctor, and managed to retrieve most of her posts, but without the graphics. I would like her to be able to retrieve ALL her posts, or her blog. I'm not very computer savvy, and am running out of ideas. So I am asking for your help. If you have any ideas on how she can get her blog back, or posts, please leave a comment. I have her e-mail, but will not give it out due to privacy issues. However, I will drop her an e-mail, and let her know about your comments.

As you many know my blog is only a few months old, so currently I don't have a huge following. I am asking that you consider telling your readers about her dilemma. Maybe creating a post about it. She is not the first one who has lost a blog, and will not be the last. I think that we can all sympathize with her.

I have heard that whatever has been placed on the internet never really gets erased, and can be retrieved. We would appreciate your help.