I know it's not Friday, but I need a laugh. Maybe you could use one too? ;)
By Gigglepixie (hey go visit her!)
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
“Who is it?” calls one of the nuns.
“Blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
“Nice gazongas,” says the man. “Where do you want these blinds?”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I do not have a hickey!
I'm doing fine, but I do not have a hickey! My nails are longer then usual, and I guess a bit jagged. Yesterday I had an itch on my neck, and scratched it. Today it looks like a hickey. I went on the bus trip today with a bunch of senior citizens, so I kept on pulling the collar of my coat up to hide it. One lady kept looking back to talk to the couple in front of me. When she did I turned my head towards the window so she couldn't see it. No folks, I didn't get lucky. I just had an itch, and scratched it.
Old Gay Man
from: The Joke Yard
What a drag it is getting old...
When I went to the bar tonight, I noticed this old boy about 75-80 years sitting all alone in the corner and he was crying over his cocktail.
I stopped and asked him what was wrong.
He said: "I have a 22 year old lover at home. I met him a month or so ago, right here in this very bar!" He continued; "He makes love to me every morning and then he makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee."
I said: "Well, then why are you crying?"
He said: "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then he makes love to me half the afternoon."
I said: "Well, so why are you crying?"
He said: "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then he makes love to me until 2:00 am."
I said: "Well, for goodness sakes! Why in the world would you be CRYING!"
And he said: "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!"
Harold Lloyd - Girl Shy
Special thanks to Gigglepixie for letting me use her joke! ;) Hey go visit her! click here.