Monday, February 2, 2009

Friday Funnies (um on Monday)

I know it's not Friday, but I need a laugh. Maybe you could use one too? ;)


Nice Gazongas
By Gigglepixie (hey go visit her!)

Two nuns are ordered to
paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” calls one of the nuns.

“Blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

“Nice gazongas,” says the man. “Where do you want these blinds?”

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I do not have a hickey!
by Awake

I'm doing fine, but I do not have a hickey! My nails are longer then usual, and I guess a bit jagged. Yesterday I had an itch on my neck, and scratched it. Today it looks like a hickey. I went on the bus trip today with a bunch of senior citizens, so I kept on pulling the collar of my coat up to hide it. One lady kept looking back to talk to the couple in front of me. When she did I turned my head towards the window so she couldn't see it. No folks, I didn't get lucky. I just had an itch, and scratched it.

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Old Gay Man
from: The Joke Yard

What a drag it is getting old...

When I went to the bar tonight, I noticed this old boy about 75-80 years sitting all alone in the corner and he was crying over his cocktail.

I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

He said: "I have a 22 year old lover at home. I met him a month or so ago, right here in this very bar!" He continued; "He makes love to me every morning and then he makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee."

I said: "Well, then why are you crying?"

He said: "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then he makes love to me half the afternoon."

I said: "Well, so why are you crying?"

He said: "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then he makes love to me until 2:00 am."

I said: "Well, for goodness sakes! Why in the world would you be CRYING!"

And he said: "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!"

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Harold Lloyd - Girl Shy




Special thanks to Gigglepixie for letting me use her joke! ;) Hey go visit her! click here.

11 comments:

Babs (Beetle) said...

That gave me a nice chuckle :O)

twofinches said...

Oh Awake...I'm glad you did Friday funnies on Monday. I had a big run-around kind of day with lots of serious stuff in it. I needed this little dose of humor!

meleah rebeccah said...

These are great. And I did need a chuckle. Thank you.

Amias said...

Thank you for this, I needed a good laugh. Right on!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

LOOKS like a hickey to me ((smile))

It's been a long time since I had one of those!!
HA HAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tammy said...

Bwahahaa! Thanks for the laugh! :o)

Mark said...

Funny stuff! thanks for the giggles.

EastCoastLife said...

haha.... I like the one of the 'Blind Man'.

Giggle Pixie said...

I'm sorry I'm getting here so late (it's been another tough week), but I sure did enjoy all the giggles. Thanks so much, and thanks for the linkey love too!!

Now...time to come clean about that hickey!!! hehehe!

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi Giggle Pixie,

Well, thanks for letting me use it!

"Now...time to come clean about that hickey!!!" Yeah, don't I wish! lol

Speedcat Hollydale said...

he heeeee !!!