Thursday, February 12, 2009

What NOT To Do When Depressed (Top 10)

The last few days I've been in a dark place in my mind. Unfortunately, it doesn't take me long. So I made up this list. It is dark humor, morbid. I just need some humor now, and this does the trick from me. If your sensitive about suicide, or suicidal, you many not want to read this.<= odd sentence.

What NOT To Do When Depressed (Top 10)


10) Take inventory of the meds in your cabinet. Call your local pharmacies and ask him which pill combination would be most lethal.

9) Take longer then usual washing kitchen knifes thinking, "I wonder how sharp this REALLY is."

8) Go up to your republican, redneck, war vet, neighbor who is cleaning his shotgun. Tell him that Pres. Bush was no better then Hitler, and V.P. Cheney is the devil incarnate. Insist that they both should have been impeached. Make sure to tell him that your a communist, gay, and despise America, (wear bright pink, and burn the flag while talking.)

7) When taking a pan out of the oven, don't use oven mitts. Explain to concerned onlookers, "My hands are cold."

6) Call a gun shop, and ask them if they can deliver a RUSH order.

5) Sign up for knife juggling lessons, or start wrestle alligators.

4) Think of getting back with severely mentally ill ex because she is capable of murder. (The local one, not the other nut job.)

3) Repeatedly sing the Theme from M*A*S*H - "Suicide is Painless."

2) Think of a different use for clothespins.

1) Eat huge amounts of burritos, with ex-large bean side order, all smothered with fiery hot sauce. Go into the furnace room and expel massive quantities of gas...then wait.


Disclaimer - Please do not try this at home, ah, or anywhere else.

No comments needed. Don't humor me, I'm being weird, ah, silly.

photo credit

12 comments:

Lilly's Life said...

Silly is allowed. Made me smile. Least you can joke about it. Thats got to be a good sign hey?

74WIXYgrad said...

Also do not go to Georgia and order the Elvis blue plate special, the deep fried peanut butter sandwich.

Tammy said...

Thank you for the morning chuckle! :o)

Posh Totty said...

Im pleased you can joke about it, that is always a good sign :o) Xx

Mike Golch said...

been there many times myself and yes humor does help.when you are down in the dumps.

dmarks said...

Do not go to Z'hadum.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

1) Eat huge amounts of burritos, with ex-large bean side order, all smothered with fiery hot sauce. Go into the furnace room and expel massive quantities of gas...then wait.

Ohh YHEAHHHH ... I am SO doing this one.

YHEEEEEEEEEE
HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi Speedy,

Hm, I don't that the Surgeon General would recommend that.

Janet Campbell said...

LOL! Too funny but sad subject. I hope you are ok...
XOXO

Awake In Rochester said...

dmarks,

Is that the same as Sto-Vo-Kor?

LadyBanana said...

Hmm must say 1 or 2 of those is a little familiar...

Great post :)

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi LadyBanana,

Unfortunately I think that a lot of people can relate. But do not try this at home. ;)