Random Ramblings #6

Health Wise

I'm almost over the virus that I had. My sprain is getting better, but taking so darn long. I'm officially out of work. This has caused financial, and depression problems to worsen. I wrote a few blog post drafts concerning the depression, but glad I never posted them. They even scared me. I'm not happy to be alive right now. They say that it is always darkest before the dawn. Well, I hope so, because it's very dark now.

He Was Slapping Her

My asshole of a neighbor had knocked his girlfriend down and was standing over her slapping her. This happened in the hall. I immediately called the police. They arrived in two minutes. By the time the cops arrived they were in her apartment, and questioned them. I could hear the conversation. The dispute was over money, (I think for drugs). My favorite neighbor, and I agreed to call the cops right away if Mr. asshole starts in again. We don't want him getting away with it. (Sorry if my language offends you, but I can't think of a better word for him at this time.)

Rochester Weather - Tornados & Cool

Two tornado's hit the Western N.Y. area not far from Rochester on July 25th. They caused quite a bit of damage in Corfu in Genessee county, and a little in Hilton in Monroe county where they hit. Hundreds of customers lost electricity in those areas. The Darien-Corfu tornado had moderate damage to several buildings and trees and winds ranging from 86-110mph. The path was four miles long and 100 yards wide. The tornado in Hilton caused less damage. It's big news around here since our last tornado in Monroe county (my county) was in 1981.

I've been enjoying wonderfully cool weather lately! We have only had 4 days over 80 degrees (26.6 C) and none in the 90's (32-37 C). We just might break the record for the coldest July in history (since 1871) for Rochester. I just love it! Yes, we have more rain then usual, but it's no big deal. Not much flooding at all.

photo credit

My E.R. Visit

I was injured. No big deal, and the details are boring. Because I don’t have insurance I had to go to E.R. to have ex-rays just to make sure that my bone wasn’t broken. Good news – I don’t have a broken bone! It is just sprain. It is healing nicely, but taking time. I will be 100% again. However, I now have flu symptoms. EK! I hope it’s not H1N1 swine flu. The symptoms are mild so I doubt it’s swine flu, but I might have to be tested. I’m trying to reach the free clinic.

If it is H1N1 I might have to take Tamiflu which might not work because you have to take it soon after first sign of symptoms. My first symptoms were Friday, and my free clinic was closed over the weekend and today. So that is 3 days so far. Darn! I hope it’s just a regular bug. If it is swine flu I will have to stay home 7 days as recommended. I’m not having fun right now.

Well, this all shows the need for universal healthcare, and personal healthcare. I applied for Medicare, or is it Medicaid. I get them mixed up. I'm glad that normally I'm in very good health, and can't wait to get back to my normal state. Although I'm not doing that bad now. Hopefully these are just a few minor glitches.

By the way, George Clooney says "Hi". ;)

UPDATE: Hi All,
Thanks for the good wishes! It's not H1N1, but just a bug. My bone will take longer to heal then I thought. I'm out of work for several weeks. (And my agency called recently.) Crap!

EK! Blog buddy Health Psych has H1N1 Swine Flu!

Unfortunately it is official. My blog buddy Health Psych who at PsychoBabble blog has H1N1 (Swine Flu).

She has been in bed for 12 out of 14 days so far. She says that she has a "raging temperature, muscle aches, headache etc etc" ...The "flu might be milder than expected but it's knocking me around quite a bit."

Please show your support by clicking here and leaving her a message. Please say a prayer (or send good vibes) that she recovers soon.

In my county of Monroe, they have decided not to give us anymore information since they declared it an epidemic here. (No thanks to county executive Maggie Brooks.) We do not know if it is still considered an epidemic. If they still regard it as mild. How many people have been ill, or if anyone has died. It is like a media blackout and I don't like it one bit! I would rather know!

Police Call is Resolved. How Depressed Am I?

Thank God! A family member paid my debt. He didn't tell me until days later. I guess he wanted to make sure that I applied at Social Services for assistance. I don't like getting a hand out from the government, (it will take 45 days before I receive anything).

So while I was terrified thinking that the cops might bust down my door because of a bounced check, (see previous post) I was trying to locate my carotid artery, and sharpening my knives. Gee, just how depressed am I!?

I keep forgetting how depressed I am until something happens to reveal it. Then I realize that I'm standing on top of a cliff with my toes hanging over the edge.

Why don't I see how depressed I am? Because it has become my normal state. I've been like this for so long that I don't even realize the degree of depression that I'm in.

This police incident just reminded me of how depressed I am. It's become a vicious cycle - depression & anxiety from the deaths of several family members --> less work --> less money & increased debt --> feelings of guilt, failure, self-hatred --> deeper depression & deeper anxiety.

The cycle goes on and on. I slowly sink deeper, and deeper without even realizing it. It's become a way of life until one day I realize that I'm standing on top of a cliff with my toes hanging over the edge. I just don't see it most of the time. I'm under the illusion that I'm coping well enough.

Note: Hyperbole was used in this post and not meant to be interpreted literally.

Related Post - The Police Called