Thursday, August 14, 2008

Have You Ever Put Someone On A Pedestal?

Some of the facts have been changed so that the woman on the pedestal would be protected.

Have you ever put someone up on a pedestal? You know, thought that they were so special that they could do no wrong? That's how I felt about Mandy. When I lived in Syracuse I met an RN who was very special. She was not only a very caring and good nurse, but she was a Christian, and a perfect example. It wasn't just me that thought so, but many others.

Mandy had more then her share of problems. She had a chronic disease, and was often in pain. She had an abusive husband who was diagnoses as a sociopath. Yet, Mandy relied, and trusted in God so much that she acted like she didn't have a care in the world. She was upbeat, and joyful. She loved helping others, and had a huge heart. Mandy was very approachable, had many friends, and admiring peers. The patients respected, and liked her. She read the Bible on her breaks, and sometimes discussed it with others. More then that she seemed to embody love, joy, and forgiveness. In my book she was the very definition of an nearly perfect nurse, person, and Christian.

Today things changed a bit. Reality set in a bit. I Googled Mandy's name and found out that she had an action of misconduct as a nurse, and admitted to it. Mandy had taken a narcotic for her own use at work. The narcotic was meant for a patient. At first I was shocked, then I started to make excuses for her in my mind- She had a painful, chronic, disease, perhaps she was out of her own medication. Perhaps the patient was a sleep, and didn't need the med. Maybe that's what happened? Or maybe it was worse. Maybe Mandy had been on pain meds for so long that she was addicted.

At any rate, I know that her actions were wrong, and I'm sure that Mandy does too. Isn't it odd that some people can do 99% right, and good in there lives. Then there is that 1% that dashes them down to the ground. It reminds me of that movie Crash, best picture Oscar for 2005. Have you ever seen it? If you haven't, you should! I highly recommend it. Early in that movie you think that you have the good guys, and bad guys all figured out. Then at the end you realize that no one is 100% good, or bad, but we are all just human. We all make mistakes. That's not to say that we shouldn't try to do our best, but one quick wrong decision can mess up a life. I guess we can only do our best, and hope that we don't get slapped down to hard when we make a mistake. Or at lest that those around us, especially our loved ones, will be understanding.

Tonight my heart goes out to an old friend and colleague, her family, especially her children. I hope that her children realize that their mother is special in spite of imperfections.

Note to readers - I do not condone abuse, and personal believe that it is a deal breaker in a marriage. However, I understand Mandy's decision to stay with her husband, and respect her determination, love, and ability to forgive. She was not alone. Family members, some friends, and key people in her church knew. Both her, and her husband were receiving church, and professional counseling. I also would have respected Mandy if she had chosen to leave him.


meleah rebeccah said...

we all make mistakes that we can never take back...and hopefully learn from them.

CRASH was only THE BEST MOVIE ever made!!

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi meleah rebeccah,

I wish that the clock of time could go backwards, then I could take back a few mistakes that I made. Like they say hindsight is 20/20.

I'm glad that you liked Crash too!

LadyBanana said...

Is there any human out there who hasn't made some really silly mistakes - I doubt it.

We just have to hope that whatever happens wont be too devastating to us or our families and try to learn and grow from it..

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi LadyBanana,

I agree!

This was ironic, and tragic to read about on the Internet. Mandy was the last person you would think would do such a thing. I think that she must have reacted without thinking. It was so unlike her. She lost her nursing license for a few years because of it. What a nightmare it must have been for her, and her family. For it to be on a government website for God knows how long, just doesn't seem far! It's been years, they should take it off there website. It's over with. She paid the price. My heart just hurt for her so much last might that I hardly got any sleep. What a nightmare she lived through.

tom sheepandgoats said...

I guess we can only do our best, and hope that we don't get slapped down to hard when we make a mistake. Or at lest that those around us, especially our loved ones, will be understanding.

You have a good “human” quality about you, Awake. I think that’s why I enjoy visiting here.

And you have motivated me to rent Crash, or at least to think about renting it.

Tracy said...

I read this and had so much to say. I think what makes her such a wonderful christian now, and so looked up upon is the fact she is human. She has made mistakes, and knows the hurt of sin, and..... being forgiven. When one makes such a horriable mistake, and turns to the Lord for forgiveness they make the strongest christians, because they can relate with most people, and are able to forgive easier themselves..
It has also given her compassion and empathy. We all sin, yet some of us our sins are out for all to see and not hidden. I am sorry your friend has had to deal with so much in life.

Hugs and blessings.

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi Tracy,

Thank you for those kind, and insightful words, and thoughts.

Awake In Rochester said...

Hi tom sheepandgoats,

Thank you Tom. The movie Crash is good, but it is rated R and has some raw scenes in it. But if you can get past that, it does have a strong message or two.

S'onnie said...

I think we all put people on pederstalls and often when we face the "realities" of that persons life we feel disapointed that the didn't live up to our idealism